A question I ask myself daily..
In most situations.
Nothing is obvious. .everything requires an explanation..some background..
Stop making me figure it out.. I am so lost..I cannot remember what I am supposed to do..i don't have the answers to me..I doubt I have any idea what I am to expect. I sometimes I think I know what I want..why I want it.. but like everyone else..I am trying to figure it out.
I do not have anyone to help me..make suggestions.. encourage me to accomplish anything.. I have not for a long time.. I was on my own..stuck with trying not to offend..trying to guess what I should have done or should be doing.. I would hear when I got it wrong..
But I did a lot because I knew it needed to be done..
It was never enough..
I have been on my own for this period of time..
It is difficult to let anyone assume that role of making sure I do things.. or not do things.. I can adult..but I do not have any reason..person..to adult for.. just me.
It kinda leaves me without drive or direction..
Which is why I am here at this time..
Just working on my beer tour..so I can sleep..alone..
My bills are getting paid..I am working hard..
But..I wish I had plans I could be aiming for.. some destination.
I am more than halfway to the end of the year..
The months to come..are tough.. those months with holidays in them.
I have no plans..for the future holidays.. I will probably volunteer to work..so I don't have to think about any of it..
Aimless.
Trying to keep the lonely from being the major state of mind..
R 9/14/17
In most situations.
Nothing is obvious. .everything requires an explanation..some background..
Stop making me figure it out.. I am so lost..I cannot remember what I am supposed to do..i don't have the answers to me..I doubt I have any idea what I am to expect. I sometimes I think I know what I want..why I want it.. but like everyone else..I am trying to figure it out.
I do not have anyone to help me..make suggestions.. encourage me to accomplish anything.. I have not for a long time.. I was on my own..stuck with trying not to offend..trying to guess what I should have done or should be doing.. I would hear when I got it wrong..
But I did a lot because I knew it needed to be done..
It was never enough..
I have been on my own for this period of time..
It is difficult to let anyone assume that role of making sure I do things.. or not do things.. I can adult..but I do not have any reason..person..to adult for.. just me.
It kinda leaves me without drive or direction..
Which is why I am here at this time..
Just working on my beer tour..so I can sleep..alone..
My bills are getting paid..I am working hard..
But..I wish I had plans I could be aiming for.. some destination.
I am more than halfway to the end of the year..
The months to come..are tough.. those months with holidays in them.
I have no plans..for the future holidays.. I will probably volunteer to work..so I don't have to think about any of it..
Aimless.
Trying to keep the lonely from being the major state of mind..
R 9/14/17
posted from Bloggeroid
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