Cryptic.. decode it..

Ok..I am gonna start out saying.. this is not code..it is not double meaning.. yes..it can mean different things if read by different people..the point of view..the background of the reader and their relationship to me. .. may differ.. so it may mean something slightly different. But what it means to me..and how I explain it..my feeling.. of course.. is what I am trying to convey..and sometimes I do not know what that is.. till I write it and post.. then go back and read it..

Sometimes it is a 'whoa' moment.. a revelation..or even an eye opener.. that I did not even realize.. but usually it is a point I need to make..sometimes to myself.

So..it may be cryptic.. but only to me.. I post here for me..
Clear the things from my head.. and dump them here..
I appreciate when one of my readers can help me understand what I have put here..

My intention is to look into me..and pour it out in a post..in it all..it helps me figure out the confusing thing I call a brain.. and heart.

I do not know how many people actually read this..
The stats show it is being read.. I hope it is entertaining..and maybe helpful..

Just this minute.. a song..playing.. whoo ihoo la la la.. shining bright..

So..maybe cryptic. .but not intentional.. more cryptic to me..
I have to figure out what I have posted and why..

So.. to my friends that have been looking into my mind..
Reading my rants.. help me.. that is why I post..
Do not be offended.. you may notice.. this blog has no followers...
But the stats say I have readers.
I know one or two..that read this.. thanks.
The rest.. may be random..may have been invited... but time has passed and I do not remember..

So.. 3rd pint in.. here is the truth..

Sorry.

Apply it where it is needed.

How is that for cryptic?

I had a meeting today with a boss.. and got a reminder..
Kinda a wake up call..something I should bave been doing but I have not.. so.. corrections are required.
I am not free from requirements.
Minor stress there.

I am still doing what I need to..to get to the next day..
I miss my friend.. I wish I could help.. I am not in position any more..
My monetary hole is all mine..and beginning to require more attention.. not bad..but not good.

I wish I could be more covincing..but..without contact.. there is no one to hear what I have to say.

I cannot go 5 days.. with out a hello.. but I have.
I felt it .. I felt I could not press it .. why?.. we are closer than that..
I know busy..
I am never too busy to talk..
Never.
Yet. I find me guessing and hoping to not be a pain in the ass..
I need contact..
I cannot see you everyday.. I cannot touch you.. mentally and physically. . But.. I feel I need it.. have needed it for the past few years... since the connection was remade.. enhanced.. made real..
Yet.. I deny myself..to avoid..over pressing...
Is it not obvious? .

I will take what ever I can..to be..close.. even if it means.. no so close.. I am.. here.

I am not stuck here..

R 9/7/17

posted from Bloggeroid