Today was training day. Early start.. training all day.
Informative but long.
Then of course..I had to go back to work and finish up a few things. Listen to some voicemails. Then go home and cook...eat and clean.
Yet..here I am .. again.
Im not too sure what happened this past weekend.. I did get a few things done around the house.. fixed a thing..cleaned the gutters and installed leaf screens. Then watched football and cooked dinner. Sounds like lot..but just being busy getting things done.
I have been thinking about my local friend..wondering if I'm missed..
But ...I don't want to go there.. ! ..
I need to clean and declutter my home.. clean my cat..
Fix more stuff..make a little side money..
At work..I need to finish a couple projects. . Maybe inquire about New Haven.. or just plain..look elsewhere.. for something..
I feel like I am adrift.. drifting further and further away from anyone.
Im not as sad about it as I was.. I know I have people out there that would care.. but we all have baggage..and most of us dont want to let any one help carry it. No..no sharing the load..
...
That got deep.. abyss deep..
. . .
You know.. I am in a place I cannot figure out.. I am lost..and wondering why I am wandering..
I could just settle.. give up.. or I could hermit..
I am sort of there already..
People really avoid me.. I see it.. feel it..
I still try to get out ..alone in the crowd..
It serves it's purpose.
I guess I am trained.
I have a friend..one I sort of unintentionally burned.. maybe I should go there..and see if I can be forgiven.. it is not without baggage..but there is old history.. of things never allowed.. and we are still friends.
Maybe..I should just disappear..
Move on.. I am not getting any younger..and much greyer every day..
I should before no one new wants me....not that anyone does or did without persuasion. .. or a lot of work..
So..if they had a hidden agenda..I was ripe..
It burned every time.
Those scars across my heart still itch.. they are all still healing.. probably never will..
Go ahead add another..
It allows me to feel that I am still alive..
In pain..but alive.
Miss me.
Miss you all.
Those that hurt..those that didn't. Those that never gave me the time..those that gave all they could for as long as they could..
Those that found I was the escape.. yet they escaped.
And I am here.. just me.
R 9/18/17
Informative but long.
Then of course..I had to go back to work and finish up a few things. Listen to some voicemails. Then go home and cook...eat and clean.
Yet..here I am .. again.
Im not too sure what happened this past weekend.. I did get a few things done around the house.. fixed a thing..cleaned the gutters and installed leaf screens. Then watched football and cooked dinner. Sounds like lot..but just being busy getting things done.
I have been thinking about my local friend..wondering if I'm missed..
But ...I don't want to go there.. ! ..
I need to clean and declutter my home.. clean my cat..
Fix more stuff..make a little side money..
At work..I need to finish a couple projects. . Maybe inquire about New Haven.. or just plain..look elsewhere.. for something..
I feel like I am adrift.. drifting further and further away from anyone.
Im not as sad about it as I was.. I know I have people out there that would care.. but we all have baggage..and most of us dont want to let any one help carry it. No..no sharing the load..
...
That got deep.. abyss deep..
. . .
You know.. I am in a place I cannot figure out.. I am lost..and wondering why I am wandering..
I could just settle.. give up.. or I could hermit..
I am sort of there already..
People really avoid me.. I see it.. feel it..
I still try to get out ..alone in the crowd..
It serves it's purpose.
I guess I am trained.
I have a friend..one I sort of unintentionally burned.. maybe I should go there..and see if I can be forgiven.. it is not without baggage..but there is old history.. of things never allowed.. and we are still friends.
Maybe..I should just disappear..
Move on.. I am not getting any younger..and much greyer every day..
I should before no one new wants me....not that anyone does or did without persuasion. .. or a lot of work..
So..if they had a hidden agenda..I was ripe..
It burned every time.
Those scars across my heart still itch.. they are all still healing.. probably never will..
Go ahead add another..
It allows me to feel that I am still alive..
In pain..but alive.
Miss me.
Miss you all.
Those that hurt..those that didn't. Those that never gave me the time..those that gave all they could for as long as they could..
Those that found I was the escape.. yet they escaped.
And I am here.. just me.
R 9/18/17
posted from Bloggeroid
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