The trip went well.
The memorial was good. He is home. Laid to rest at home.
His friends appreciated that he was finally where he wanted to be.
I was glad to be there too.
So..the next few days were for me.
Relax.. enjoy being home..enjoy being with friends.
Yes, I visited the ones that would never forgive me for coming
And not stopping to say hi..I love them all.
I spent quality time with those that get me..
I think I got answers I was needing..
I found direction that I needed..
I realized that I did not scare away the person I care for.
I was informed of the boundries that exist. .and feel good about them.
I am happy to know..I have not been forgotten.. I made it a point to prove I am always me. I am sorry the result was not as it should be..but I know.. the point was made..
I do.. I always will.. it may never be different from what it has become.. but I will always wish it does.
I can live with it if it does not ..but know..it is not just me..not just in my head..a fantasy..
I cannot express my depth..and hope it is known..
I realize the difficulties. . I accept the issues..
As I have said over and over.. I get it.
More than anyone else..
Really..I dont know why.. but I do.
I get it.
Yes, the trip was clarification for me..
I am not expecting anything to change..
Just I am not unsure anymore..
I see. I have had it explained..and I do understand.
It may never change.. but it don't feel like i am alone.. I feel like I belong to a feeling..one of smiles and happy..
Yeah..kinda sappy.. but. I feel so good after holding you in my arms..
Even with no promise of any future.. I smile.. the now.. makes me smile..
I am working on the things I can change..
But I know I will always have a friend..one who knows how much love I can give.. how much I can love.
Someone that appreciates. .the me most never will know.
143!
R 7/19/17
The memorial was good. He is home. Laid to rest at home.
His friends appreciated that he was finally where he wanted to be.
I was glad to be there too.
So..the next few days were for me.
Relax.. enjoy being home..enjoy being with friends.
Yes, I visited the ones that would never forgive me for coming
And not stopping to say hi..I love them all.
I spent quality time with those that get me..
I think I got answers I was needing..
I found direction that I needed..
I realized that I did not scare away the person I care for.
I was informed of the boundries that exist. .and feel good about them.
I am happy to know..I have not been forgotten.. I made it a point to prove I am always me. I am sorry the result was not as it should be..but I know.. the point was made..
I do.. I always will.. it may never be different from what it has become.. but I will always wish it does.
I can live with it if it does not ..but know..it is not just me..not just in my head..a fantasy..
I cannot express my depth..and hope it is known..
I realize the difficulties. . I accept the issues..
As I have said over and over.. I get it.
More than anyone else..
Really..I dont know why.. but I do.
I get it.
Yes, the trip was clarification for me..
I am not expecting anything to change..
Just I am not unsure anymore..
I see. I have had it explained..and I do understand.
It may never change.. but it don't feel like i am alone.. I feel like I belong to a feeling..one of smiles and happy..
Yeah..kinda sappy.. but. I feel so good after holding you in my arms..
Even with no promise of any future.. I smile.. the now.. makes me smile..
I am working on the things I can change..
But I know I will always have a friend..one who knows how much love I can give.. how much I can love.
Someone that appreciates. .the me most never will know.
143!
R 7/19/17
posted from Bloggeroid
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