I got the new camera installed..calibrated ..controllable..
But.. I need to replace it.. it is defective.. but it works enough.
It is better than before.
I received more remote equipment.. and the set is moving forward..
Quickly.. I have tasks to get done.. temp cams to configure.. cables to run.
Stress.
I am not getting much done at home.. need to mow the lawn again.. cleaning..and such.. radios to fix.. 2 behind. .more coming.
I need to destress and maybe see the chiropractor.
I have plans to spend time with friends on an outing to a cart track..
Lindsey will enjoy it.
Watching hockey and baseball too. Gives me something other than work to occupy my mind.
I realize I miss watching sports..
I have not checked on my friends funeral. Got to make a call.
Got to look at an August MINI road trip.
Stuff is there..just have to grab on..
I am missing my friends. Not sure if the summer will improve.
I guess it is up to me.
I feel like my young adult is avoiding talking with me..
I don't know if anything is up..I ask..and get nothing in response..
I could be missing important clues ..or info..
It could be just the norm..and im am too stressed with work to see the difference.
I realize.. I have no personal release.. nothing for me..
I have been too busy with work and this and that..
It has not been my priority. The me..
Just focused on work..
I have freindly options.. and am trying to explore them..
But.. just not clicking..
Some mental block..or excuse.. I have not surrendered..
I wish I could.
I wonder if it's just a part of me staying desireable.
A challenge. It may end up the deal breaker.. as I have been told.
Yes.. I try too hard.
I can't get the one I want ..so love the one your with....
If I was only that smooth... I wish.
Life changes are eminent.
Direction is my dilemma..
Yes..I know.. 2 years later.. I am no longer any more than that friend that rescued .. a strong bond that will never be broken.. but never the guy... just the one that is not enough..by that much..
Ouch.
Reality.. a hard slap in the face..
Not that I am not used to it..
Story of my life..
It has happened over and over..
I don't measure up.
Never will.
Just not worthy.
R 6/9/17
But.. I need to replace it.. it is defective.. but it works enough.
It is better than before.
I received more remote equipment.. and the set is moving forward..
Quickly.. I have tasks to get done.. temp cams to configure.. cables to run.
Stress.
I am not getting much done at home.. need to mow the lawn again.. cleaning..and such.. radios to fix.. 2 behind. .more coming.
I need to destress and maybe see the chiropractor.
I have plans to spend time with friends on an outing to a cart track..
Lindsey will enjoy it.
Watching hockey and baseball too. Gives me something other than work to occupy my mind.
I realize I miss watching sports..
I have not checked on my friends funeral. Got to make a call.
Got to look at an August MINI road trip.
Stuff is there..just have to grab on..
I am missing my friends. Not sure if the summer will improve.
I guess it is up to me.
I feel like my young adult is avoiding talking with me..
I don't know if anything is up..I ask..and get nothing in response..
I could be missing important clues ..or info..
It could be just the norm..and im am too stressed with work to see the difference.
I realize.. I have no personal release.. nothing for me..
I have been too busy with work and this and that..
It has not been my priority. The me..
Just focused on work..
I have freindly options.. and am trying to explore them..
But.. just not clicking..
Some mental block..or excuse.. I have not surrendered..
I wish I could.
I wonder if it's just a part of me staying desireable.
A challenge. It may end up the deal breaker.. as I have been told.
Yes.. I try too hard.
I can't get the one I want ..so love the one your with....
If I was only that smooth... I wish.
Life changes are eminent.
Direction is my dilemma..
Yes..I know.. 2 years later.. I am no longer any more than that friend that rescued .. a strong bond that will never be broken.. but never the guy... just the one that is not enough..by that much..
Ouch.
Reality.. a hard slap in the face..
Not that I am not used to it..
Story of my life..
It has happened over and over..
I don't measure up.
Never will.
Just not worthy.
R 6/9/17
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