I will be gone during a non pay week. I will return to 3 days before a paycheck. I have made advanced payments on all but 2 bills. I will do those this week.
I have food in the house. The cat and young adult are set.
The car has been behaving and should be in good hands.
I plan on getting my car project in to the machinist this week..maybe..
I cleaned it up today and sorted the garage. Found the pieces I need to transport to the shop..
Another item on my list to move closer to completion.
I spent the day at home..by myself.. I fixed L's computer and made dinner did dishes.. sorted newspapers in the garage.. it was nice out and good to be out of the house..sort of.
Just me and the radio.. cleaning and sorting.. I ate alone. Watched a little tv..
I am just waiting to not be in this place.. even for just a little while..
I went to a bar party yesterday.. other than the guest of honor..and one other..I knew no one.. it was a new bar..no absolute.. so.. I felt like me.. out of place. Go figure.. I stayed an appropriate amount of time and then left. Went somewhere familliar and played some pool with a couple of the regulars.. better..
But home..is mine..and mine alone..
Yes..I have my 'roommate'.. but this is the vampire weeks.. and so I am alone till dark.. I can only plan to be by myself.. and wait for the work week to start.. and pet the cat.
Kinda lonely.. no one to talk to..no one to see.. no where to go..
I could just drive.. but.. I've been everywhere local. So unless I'm headed out of town.. nothing new.. and interesting..
So..just stay home.
I so need this time away.
I don't want to mess up the 'vacation'..
I have needed to be around someone that gets the me..that I hide..
No one here knows him..
I am like everyone else on this planet. .I am just looking to be understood..accepted..appreciated..and loved.. I am looking ultimately for a person to complete me..and enhance my life.
Someone who forgives my shortages..and adds to my abilities..
It may seem like a lot to ask..but if that is what we all are looking for..the right person should be easy.. eventually..Someone will fit..
I am not inflexible. .the criteria isn't rigid..anyone who wants to make an effort..a contribution.. could fit and be happy..we could make eachother very happy..
On this planet of so many people..
Why..is this so difficult??
Was I born in the wrong decade?
Am I putting my efforts in the wrong generation??
Maybe.
Wow!
I never realized this place was so busy on a late Sunday night...
It is actually Monday morning. . The place is packed..after midnight.
Maybe Monday won't suck this week.
I have tasks..and travel on Friday.. and those few days off.
Maybe.. the weekend will be better than I expect. That would be nice.
To see old friends. To spend time with some who know me.
To be home.
Yes..it is home.
I want to find a way to get back.
Opportunities exist.. I need to make something happen.
I am looking forward to the travel.. to be away..to see people and home..and the ocean.. yes ..family too.
Yes..airports and rental cars can be different. . But part of travel..air travel. As long as I don't get forced off a plane..
I will be good.
I have already decided to buy what I need once I get there..just bring clothes.. and just have a carry-on.. I probably won't even bring a laptop... borrow a tablet and use my phone..
I used to love to travel by plane. .but now it is such a hassel..
Just want it to be over.
But.. it will all be worth it.
I need the hugs I have been waiting for.. I need the hours of conversation with people that 'get' me..
4 more days..
Then..
As always I'm sorry its so disjointed.. and confusing..
But it is a brain dump..and it is what is in my head...right now.
With out this.. I would melt down. And revert to a bad place..
Too much like therapy
I need to plan a road trip.
Soon.
Hey!!!
See you soon.
Hugs promised.
R 4/24/17
posted from Bloggeroid
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