I was interrupted on the last post..
To try to complete that thought ..
If I can..
I have known many that have ..in fear of being alone..decided that misery and abuse was justificatio of their existance.. and stayed were they should have left..and sought out similar individuals. .that could only make them hurt.. because it was like a cutter or someone that looks for pain.. because it is better than being numb..neglected and alone..the mental and physical pain.. reminded them that they were still alive..
They refused to allow a kinder and gentler person in their life because they get the fluff but cannot realize the fluffy comfort..is a desireable place to be.. a place you can relax and be happy..and find happiness in other things.. when you are not fighting for each piece of love.. and good feeling. . You can enjoy the rest of your environment...because you dont have to endure the many forms of abuse you allow..or let into your life..to feel like you exist.
Pain is easier to recognize than pleasure.. pleasure usually comes with strings attached.. at least that is how you feel..
You wonder what do they want from me?? They are being nice.. they must have an alterior motive.. they want something I don't want to give..
I am not just talking bruises and cuts...but the invisible scars..the mental games and abuse.. it still hurts..but more because most people cannot see them...and don't know to offer help..
And just like the cutter.. you need it to make sure you are alive..
One of the worst parts of this.. you forget that not everyone is bad..
There are truly genuine people out there.. some are willing.. to be everything you need.. because you are everything they need..
You can fix eachother.. meld..find that reason for being..and help the other find their happiness. While you find yours.
Win win!.. in all it's reality.
Magical..
But, unfortunately. .not the norm.. people are creatures of habit..and make the adjustments..and suffer in silence..and just don't see..or want to see the reason..to allow happy in their life.
It may be something they were told..long ago..and believed it.. instead of seeing..they were so much more than a short sighted persons opinion.
But no one has helped you see..you are so much more..
They may have tried.. but you refused to accept your worthyness..
You don't think you deserve what you want..
So when it is handed to you..offered to you in all sincerity... you think it is a lie.. you don't believe it could be true.
So you listen to all those voices..and push it away..
Do they actually let you??
Think..
Are they still there..hanging on.. no matter how hard you try to shake them off??
Why is that??
Are they getting anything from being there waiting??
Other than their personal satisfaction? ? Of making another human smile...
No hidden agenda.
Your happiness is their reward.. and theirs..
Shocking?? That someone can be happy by making you happy!
We are out there.
Usually ignored..
Usually too good to be true.. so ignored.
Easily for someone to skew your perception.. to make you think your happiness is not deserved..even when it is .. finally right there..
In front of you.
No..they convince you.. it is not for you..
Then.. once you agree..they step totally in their bubble. .and you are alone.
Like the rest of us.
R 4/27/17
To try to complete that thought ..
If I can..
I have known many that have ..in fear of being alone..decided that misery and abuse was justificatio of their existance.. and stayed were they should have left..and sought out similar individuals. .that could only make them hurt.. because it was like a cutter or someone that looks for pain.. because it is better than being numb..neglected and alone..the mental and physical pain.. reminded them that they were still alive..
They refused to allow a kinder and gentler person in their life because they get the fluff but cannot realize the fluffy comfort..is a desireable place to be.. a place you can relax and be happy..and find happiness in other things.. when you are not fighting for each piece of love.. and good feeling. . You can enjoy the rest of your environment...because you dont have to endure the many forms of abuse you allow..or let into your life..to feel like you exist.
Pain is easier to recognize than pleasure.. pleasure usually comes with strings attached.. at least that is how you feel..
You wonder what do they want from me?? They are being nice.. they must have an alterior motive.. they want something I don't want to give..
I am not just talking bruises and cuts...but the invisible scars..the mental games and abuse.. it still hurts..but more because most people cannot see them...and don't know to offer help..
And just like the cutter.. you need it to make sure you are alive..
One of the worst parts of this.. you forget that not everyone is bad..
There are truly genuine people out there.. some are willing.. to be everything you need.. because you are everything they need..
You can fix eachother.. meld..find that reason for being..and help the other find their happiness. While you find yours.
Win win!.. in all it's reality.
Magical..
But, unfortunately. .not the norm.. people are creatures of habit..and make the adjustments..and suffer in silence..and just don't see..or want to see the reason..to allow happy in their life.
It may be something they were told..long ago..and believed it.. instead of seeing..they were so much more than a short sighted persons opinion.
But no one has helped you see..you are so much more..
They may have tried.. but you refused to accept your worthyness..
You don't think you deserve what you want..
So when it is handed to you..offered to you in all sincerity... you think it is a lie.. you don't believe it could be true.
So you listen to all those voices..and push it away..
Do they actually let you??
Think..
Are they still there..hanging on.. no matter how hard you try to shake them off??
Why is that??
Are they getting anything from being there waiting??
Other than their personal satisfaction? ? Of making another human smile...
No hidden agenda.
Your happiness is their reward.. and theirs..
Shocking?? That someone can be happy by making you happy!
We are out there.
Usually ignored..
Usually too good to be true.. so ignored.
Easily for someone to skew your perception.. to make you think your happiness is not deserved..even when it is .. finally right there..
In front of you.
No..they convince you.. it is not for you..
Then.. once you agree..they step totally in their bubble. .and you are alone.
Like the rest of us.
R 4/27/17
posted from Bloggeroid
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