Well it is December.
Been cold and snowy for the last 2 days. It was supposed to stop today at noon. It did in the mountains..but kept coming down slow and light all day. Still going now. Not a lot just enough to cover windshields and sidewalks. I only pushed the broom at home once. And at work once. (I had help at work)
Speaking of help, tomorrow I am taking my department to lunch as a thanks for doing their jobs and For showing up most of the time, on time.
We have survived this year of uncertainty. With an uncertain..certain next year. Maybe 10 more months.
Time moves on.
On another note I am accepting my last beer of my 20th beer tour.
That is 20 times 110. In less than 5 years. No more than 4 per day.
A personal milestone. (Less by 2 weeks).
Moving on.
I guess I am a constant.
Not really a good thing. A reliable thing. A fall back.
A safe place.
Or maybe just a loser you can always count on to be there.
No plans, ready to drop nothing to be fit into your holes in your minute.
' I'm not a dweeb. ..'
But make me work for it a lil...
Or tease me and just pass out. Drop off..fall asleep.
I am not chasing it...at least not right now.
Yes, I missed the other you, maybe by minutes.. and I am still here alone.. by myself.
Hey, nothing new there.
As always you are afraid of me. Or you.
I cannot keep being rejected. I feel each cut. I bleed.
Yet, I keep trying.
I only can for so long.
Issues surround. I cannot help so I cannot interject.
Stability is a ghost. Not sure if it really exists. If I want to know, I have to take a step. And see if my foot comes back or not.
Just a little scary.
But it may snow more tonight and tomorrow before it goes up to 50 degrees for the weekend.
Could I go back ?
Please.
No, I know I can't.
Shame.
I think I missed my chances. All of them.
Yes, I did what I did. Made it what it was. Im happy about that.
But, nothing left for me.
I guess..this is life.
My life.
Time is past time to figure out something better suited to .. this me..
Lack of direction, decision.
I need to look. If I do I will find.
Even one of the three isnt really here anymore.
I can pay bills anywhere on this planet.
All of my reasons for being in this vicinity are melting away.
Knowing this..means I need to change this.
I feel the way I feel.. seperated.. because of me.
I allow it. I need to find a reason to make a change.
A reason not to sit here and have no where to go.
A reason to enjoy the snow again.
Maybe more later..
R 12/9/16
Been cold and snowy for the last 2 days. It was supposed to stop today at noon. It did in the mountains..but kept coming down slow and light all day. Still going now. Not a lot just enough to cover windshields and sidewalks. I only pushed the broom at home once. And at work once. (I had help at work)
Speaking of help, tomorrow I am taking my department to lunch as a thanks for doing their jobs and For showing up most of the time, on time.
We have survived this year of uncertainty. With an uncertain..certain next year. Maybe 10 more months.
Time moves on.
On another note I am accepting my last beer of my 20th beer tour.
That is 20 times 110. In less than 5 years. No more than 4 per day.
A personal milestone. (Less by 2 weeks).
Moving on.
I guess I am a constant.
Not really a good thing. A reliable thing. A fall back.
A safe place.
Or maybe just a loser you can always count on to be there.
No plans, ready to drop nothing to be fit into your holes in your minute.
' I'm not a dweeb. ..'
But make me work for it a lil...
Or tease me and just pass out. Drop off..fall asleep.
I am not chasing it...at least not right now.
Yes, I missed the other you, maybe by minutes.. and I am still here alone.. by myself.
Hey, nothing new there.
As always you are afraid of me. Or you.
I cannot keep being rejected. I feel each cut. I bleed.
Yet, I keep trying.
I only can for so long.
Issues surround. I cannot help so I cannot interject.
Stability is a ghost. Not sure if it really exists. If I want to know, I have to take a step. And see if my foot comes back or not.
Just a little scary.
But it may snow more tonight and tomorrow before it goes up to 50 degrees for the weekend.
Could I go back ?
Please.
No, I know I can't.
Shame.
I think I missed my chances. All of them.
Yes, I did what I did. Made it what it was. Im happy about that.
But, nothing left for me.
I guess..this is life.
My life.
Time is past time to figure out something better suited to .. this me..
Lack of direction, decision.
I need to look. If I do I will find.
Even one of the three isnt really here anymore.
I can pay bills anywhere on this planet.
All of my reasons for being in this vicinity are melting away.
Knowing this..means I need to change this.
I feel the way I feel.. seperated.. because of me.
I allow it. I need to find a reason to make a change.
A reason not to sit here and have no where to go.
A reason to enjoy the snow again.
Maybe more later..
R 12/9/16
posted from Bloggeroid
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