Long beginning to a short week..

It is Monday.. I have been at work alone since Friday..till Tuesday..at least.. I had to work Sunday.. a trip up.. and a few hours diagnosing a computer with a failed hard drive.. then back to it this morning.. 6 hours trying to get the remote tech into the computer..
I did a little prep for the trip.. I moved the radio receiver in the car.. hid a few wires..made a new mount..
Sunday before work..I cleaned the inside of the car..scrubbed the floor mats..armor-all'd the dash and doors.. I found the cord for my 2way radio.. so I am getting closer.. I have printed the reservations..
I am getting ready.

If my assistant ends up on a jury.. and it gets held past Wednesday. ..I will have to cancel my trip.. lose my hotel money..

I would have to plan a different driving vacation..
It would be possible...

But I need to survive this week... still plenty to do..
Stuff to fix..new stuff to make work.
Lots to clean and sort..
Work and home..

I have had thoughts.. about leaving.. nudging someone at corporate. .about Connecticut. . I could rent out the house to a supervisor.. and figure out housing..and how to sell the house.. the supv.. would probably buy it..
It could be done..easily..

New ... yet so close to home..
It would be near the ocean.. seafood.. friends..
I am not stuck here...
My bills will follow me.. as I will still pay them..and make new ones..
Thus..the reason to keep working.
I have given thought to..exiting my current career..and moving to something else..it has been done..and could be again. . I am not afraid.. I just need to be able to keep up.. I am down that road... one that is hard to replicate. Without some pain.. but.. anything is doable..for the right reason.. I have been in this place for so long.. in this rut.. no direction..only being in this stable place for my young adult. . All for her..
The time is getting close.. the cords will be cut..and we will both be on our own..
The thing we need.. each of us...not to seperate..but to grow..
I cannot be there..always..as much as I would want to.. I will as long as I am able..because I can.

All that said..

I try...for me and anyone I care for..
I prove this as often as I can.
No one can dispute that..

Yes, we all get greedy..and hope for fantastic results..
Sometimes not what was expected...but.. the mental feeling outweighed the physical.. not discounting the physical..but the spiritual. .personal connection.. was mind blowing.
Still is.. it is so hard to not want to 'touch' everyday..
I do send messages. . Some not censored.. not expressing the true meaning..but.. I hope it is seen for the true caring and love that it represents.
I only hope I am perceived as all my good intentions..
I am not where I want to be..where I am needed..for everyone else..and for me.
I am not 19..anymore. ..
The personal criteria is much different..yet the same..
I am looking for the perfect place..job..and woman.
For many years.. I thought..2 out of 3..is acceptable. .

No..after all this time..it never mattered..it is...or...it is not.
I am used to ... not..

Yet...here I am...
Still alone...
The one I click with..
Is thinking about it. .

No pressure
Ever.
1
I have to stop.
Personal

Huh.

Goodnight..

Miss me...

Missone

I miss u.

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