I cannot...

I cannot think of a title,   just yet.

A few things running around my thoughts this day.
It's a quiet day, not much I want to do.
I am preoccupied in my thoughts. I cannot focus.

I got past the required chores, want to run, but cannot.
I really want to talk, but cannot.

I am missing.. not me..
It sucks because I cannot say.. I want to.. but cannot.

I am trying, I just don't get past it. I try other things, and can't get past ..
I know, if I try harder, I can move in the other direction, I am holding back.
I know this, I just cannot.

Now I see pain... I want to help, but cannot.
I know I could, but I am prevented...

I need to step, move, stop.
I guess I am tired.
I am trying to find joy in the things that mattered to me, and it is eluding me.
I am pained, because of the pain I see..

This really is not fair. I have exposed me and found that I can be seen. As usual it happened at the wrong time.. the wrong decade. I realize, if it happens again, in the same time frame... 2 or 3 decades from now.. It may just be too late. 

What I can do..is not easy for me, But I have to start, not over, but with me..
I can do what I think I cannot.

I must do what has always been difficult for me.
I just have to think about where to begin.
I must do this before I convince myself.. I cannot.

I guess I found a title.

Now I need to change it.

R 3/27/2016