Funny.. I was watching tv today.. one of those required things I do..monitor what we do..
I saw an infomercial about beauty... it had a few of the celebrities I grew up watching.. Valerie, Laurie, Cindy.. and others..
Ones I saw as a young man.. and drooled over.. each one said their age.. and to my surprize.. they are my age. Oh yes, the commercial exploited how pretty they are at this age..with the help of some serum.. that every woman must buy..
I know.. if any woman had fame and money and personal trainers and consultants and the desire or need to be ..they could.. natural beauty is hard to find.. some are very lucky..some work their asses off to keep it.
I can truly say.. I know a few.. natural beauties.. the exterior matches the interior.. it can be a 'eye of the beholder' thing.. but usually if they are so pretty inside. ..it radiates out and the outer matches.
I have been fortunate to know these beauties.
Yes..I have met a few inner beauties that have been working to get out..and some have been successful.
I have met a few people.. that whenever I am around them.. they make me grin.. uncontrollably. . I sometimes notice it..
Those times that are most outstanding are the ones I have no physical interest in..but every time I see them I grin..I am happy to be in their presence..
One that comes to mind.. I realized after some time.. that it was happening to me.. this was a co-workers girlfriend.. and I worked with her.. she was always confrontational. . Always grumpy..sometimes angry. Usually difficult to work with..and be around.. but sbe brought out the perma-grin.. her soul was so beautiful. . I felt it. I was not attracted to her physically.. I knew her boyfriend. .worked with him..respected him.. but she radiated an inner beauty..that lit up my soul every time I delt with her.
He was intelligent..an engineer.. kinda looked like Berta on two and a half men.. not a stunning physical beauty.. she had long blond hair always in a braid.. in any definition..a biker chick.. one that owned her own.. but deep down a nice person.. respectful..and once you got to know her.. friendly..
I just remember realizing the uncontrolled grin.. whenever I had to talk to her..
Honestly. .this was 15 or so years ago.. and I do not remember her name.. my fellow tech..her boyfriend.. told me a few years ago..she had lost her battle with cancer.. and I remember her ..I won't forget her.
I will never understand that connection she sparked in me..
I know I was not attracted to her..but she was such a beautiful soul.
I know my friend misses her.. as do I.
That age thing.. I know I was probably 5 or 10 yrs younger than Them.. but I know I felt a mental if not spiritual connection.
So here I am.. watching tv..and seeing an adolescent fantasy.. expressing their attack on aging.. and realizing..
Here I am.. old.
Yes..Valerie will never meet me for drinks and to get to know me..
Cindy and Laurie are way out of my league. .
But I have aged well. I am somewhat healthy..I have gainful employment..
Yet.. I am alone. With absolutly no options.
My plan..is pay my bills... work till I die.
Not much past that.
I have at the minimum.. 10 or 15 years of work that I have to do...
Then.. put me In the furnace..and seal my ashes in a small box.
Or work till they wont allow me to anymore..
Move to the woods..and be self-sufficent. . And drop off the grid.
At this age.. I can be critical..and look at where I am.. and think about changes.. the ones that need to be done..
I need to figure out how to do them...
At this age.. I am trying to get over 'needing' someone to complete me.. if it happens..whoohoo!!..but seriously... not holding my breath..
No one wants this..me... not for the right reasons..
I see that.
Comfortable is out of the picture too. This age.. requires much more..
Many have struggled. .and are now looking for all they think they missed.. I just cannot provide that..for someone else ..let alone for me.
This age and this time and place...what I have left to do.. is fix those that are feeling slighted... left behind. .like the rest of us. .
I need to find the one.. that realizes that it is what you really need not want... wants and needs.. are so far apart..
By fixing that.. I can find what I truly need.
Happiness will prevail.. .
Those grins..will be easy and more often..
Stop... basing your hapiness on one that 'reqires your misery'
Maybe not a requirement..but more of lack of respect of.your struggle to do your job on this planet. .
We always..put ourselves..last..
Sometimes we are forced to ... for a moment..to think about ourselves. .
Not something we do.
But. We.must.. should. . Once in a while.
Just to put a smile on your face..
It warms my heart..to know
I can cause someone to have an uncontrolled grin or smile when they think of me..
I fondly remember my co-worker.. for that unknown reason that I would feel so good interacting..
I can only hope that this old guy can do this for someone else. .
Yes.. I am feeling old..today... as the reason for this post
Old and alone..
Which go hand in hand..
Age catches up with us.
Weather we want it to or not..
What we do with it matters more as we get older..
Really it is a wonderful thing.. some of us never get to be this old..
I am sorry.. especially if you didn't get to realize your dreams...
But for those of us left.. it is a shame if you are not happy..
You know better.. you know how short life is..
If happiness has found you..
Do not push it away..
Why should you make it so tough for you ?.
Why punish yourself?
Time.. age.. and all the rest... is not your fault.
The only acceptance. . Is yours to decide.
You are beyond the 'I will accept..the thing I have'..
That is so.. 30 yrs old.. you are beyond that. .the decisions you make at this age.. matter more than those you made before.
Make it for you. No one else will. Take ownership.. of you.
Ok. The thought was lost in the 5th pint..
And I need to close...
You are only as old as you feel..
Age is relative.
We are who we perceive we are..not what others .. think we are..
Even those that are close to us.. we are different...
Different than we used to be..
Changes and age...
If others find us beautiful..
Who are we to dispute it.
Love to you..
You know I mean it
Challenge me.. I dare you..
R 3/10/17
I saw an infomercial about beauty... it had a few of the celebrities I grew up watching.. Valerie, Laurie, Cindy.. and others..
Ones I saw as a young man.. and drooled over.. each one said their age.. and to my surprize.. they are my age. Oh yes, the commercial exploited how pretty they are at this age..with the help of some serum.. that every woman must buy..
I know.. if any woman had fame and money and personal trainers and consultants and the desire or need to be ..they could.. natural beauty is hard to find.. some are very lucky..some work their asses off to keep it.
I can truly say.. I know a few.. natural beauties.. the exterior matches the interior.. it can be a 'eye of the beholder' thing.. but usually if they are so pretty inside. ..it radiates out and the outer matches.
I have been fortunate to know these beauties.
Yes..I have met a few inner beauties that have been working to get out..and some have been successful.
I have met a few people.. that whenever I am around them.. they make me grin.. uncontrollably. . I sometimes notice it..
Those times that are most outstanding are the ones I have no physical interest in..but every time I see them I grin..I am happy to be in their presence..
One that comes to mind.. I realized after some time.. that it was happening to me.. this was a co-workers girlfriend.. and I worked with her.. she was always confrontational. . Always grumpy..sometimes angry. Usually difficult to work with..and be around.. but sbe brought out the perma-grin.. her soul was so beautiful. . I felt it. I was not attracted to her physically.. I knew her boyfriend. .worked with him..respected him.. but she radiated an inner beauty..that lit up my soul every time I delt with her.
He was intelligent..an engineer.. kinda looked like Berta on two and a half men.. not a stunning physical beauty.. she had long blond hair always in a braid.. in any definition..a biker chick.. one that owned her own.. but deep down a nice person.. respectful..and once you got to know her.. friendly..
I just remember realizing the uncontrolled grin.. whenever I had to talk to her..
Honestly. .this was 15 or so years ago.. and I do not remember her name.. my fellow tech..her boyfriend.. told me a few years ago..she had lost her battle with cancer.. and I remember her ..I won't forget her.
I will never understand that connection she sparked in me..
I know I was not attracted to her..but she was such a beautiful soul.
I know my friend misses her.. as do I.
That age thing.. I know I was probably 5 or 10 yrs younger than Them.. but I know I felt a mental if not spiritual connection.
So here I am.. watching tv..and seeing an adolescent fantasy.. expressing their attack on aging.. and realizing..
Here I am.. old.
Yes..Valerie will never meet me for drinks and to get to know me..
Cindy and Laurie are way out of my league. .
But I have aged well. I am somewhat healthy..I have gainful employment..
Yet.. I am alone. With absolutly no options.
My plan..is pay my bills... work till I die.
Not much past that.
I have at the minimum.. 10 or 15 years of work that I have to do...
Then.. put me In the furnace..and seal my ashes in a small box.
Or work till they wont allow me to anymore..
Move to the woods..and be self-sufficent. . And drop off the grid.
At this age.. I can be critical..and look at where I am.. and think about changes.. the ones that need to be done..
I need to figure out how to do them...
At this age.. I am trying to get over 'needing' someone to complete me.. if it happens..whoohoo!!..but seriously... not holding my breath..
No one wants this..me... not for the right reasons..
I see that.
Comfortable is out of the picture too. This age.. requires much more..
Many have struggled. .and are now looking for all they think they missed.. I just cannot provide that..for someone else ..let alone for me.
This age and this time and place...what I have left to do.. is fix those that are feeling slighted... left behind. .like the rest of us. .
I need to find the one.. that realizes that it is what you really need not want... wants and needs.. are so far apart..
By fixing that.. I can find what I truly need.
Happiness will prevail.. .
Those grins..will be easy and more often..
Stop... basing your hapiness on one that 'reqires your misery'
Maybe not a requirement..but more of lack of respect of.your struggle to do your job on this planet. .
We always..put ourselves..last..
Sometimes we are forced to ... for a moment..to think about ourselves. .
Not something we do.
But. We.must.. should. . Once in a while.
Just to put a smile on your face..
It warms my heart..to know
I can cause someone to have an uncontrolled grin or smile when they think of me..
I fondly remember my co-worker.. for that unknown reason that I would feel so good interacting..
I can only hope that this old guy can do this for someone else. .
Yes.. I am feeling old..today... as the reason for this post
Old and alone..
Which go hand in hand..
Age catches up with us.
Weather we want it to or not..
What we do with it matters more as we get older..
Really it is a wonderful thing.. some of us never get to be this old..
I am sorry.. especially if you didn't get to realize your dreams...
But for those of us left.. it is a shame if you are not happy..
You know better.. you know how short life is..
If happiness has found you..
Do not push it away..
Why should you make it so tough for you ?.
Why punish yourself?
Time.. age.. and all the rest... is not your fault.
The only acceptance. . Is yours to decide.
You are beyond the 'I will accept..the thing I have'..
That is so.. 30 yrs old.. you are beyond that. .the decisions you make at this age.. matter more than those you made before.
Make it for you. No one else will. Take ownership.. of you.
Ok. The thought was lost in the 5th pint..
And I need to close...
You are only as old as you feel..
Age is relative.
We are who we perceive we are..not what others .. think we are..
Even those that are close to us.. we are different...
Different than we used to be..
Changes and age...
If others find us beautiful..
Who are we to dispute it.
Love to you..
You know I mean it
Challenge me.. I dare you..
R 3/10/17
posted from Bloggeroid
No comments:
Post a Comment