That time thing again.
And as always..decisions...
Oh..yes..I have looked..planned and weighed the options.
As always..still looking for the 'just do it'.. because I will.
I have leveraged the money..I can.. i have settled the homefront.. and know it is all doable.. really not much preventing it.
Just the timing and the commitment.
Then just to do it.
...
Or not at all..
A 'staycation' was recommended by my general manager..
Of course.. I never 'un-leash' on him.. but the rest.. can realize when I need a vacation. ..
Someday I will overstep and pay dearly..
You do not know how many time I have checked for a cheap flight away. How many times I have considered sending a ticket..for someone to come here.
How many times..I have considered filling the tank..and driving away..
I know I have time that I need to use..have to use..for so many reasons..
Use it or loose it..money or not..
Having no life beside work..
Is not the way to be.
I am living it..have been for too long.
Hey! I am perfect.. no issues here!
As I creep up on another milestone. ..
Not getting any younger.
Not where I should be.
You know.. I have so little options..
And I look at all possibilities..
I realize..the few options are literally fighting it out in my head.
Mistakes I have made.. not necessarily regretting..but not having the end result. ... then being reminded..
And realizing.. choices. . And results..
And being presented with uncertanties..vs a diffferent direction. .an unknown..a total different direction uncertain unknown. . One that holds little stability. . But is ..different in its comfort.
Is it a 'grass is greener'..thing?.
Is it a you don't need to get burned again by falling too in love. .
So you have an out that will leave you alone again..
Situation..
Or is it just you screwing up a good thing because you will never be happy or complete at the same time?
I know.. do not second guess it.
Live the moment..because it is fleeting..
You know. .you will never get what you think you deserve.
And barely what you need.
That has been proven.
You may for a minute..
But ..
Not.
Yes... this is an ouch..
A reality check. .
Just me.
R 10/26/16
And as always..decisions...
Oh..yes..I have looked..planned and weighed the options.
As always..still looking for the 'just do it'.. because I will.
I have leveraged the money..I can.. i have settled the homefront.. and know it is all doable.. really not much preventing it.
Just the timing and the commitment.
Then just to do it.
...
Or not at all..
A 'staycation' was recommended by my general manager..
Of course.. I never 'un-leash' on him.. but the rest.. can realize when I need a vacation. ..
Someday I will overstep and pay dearly..
You do not know how many time I have checked for a cheap flight away. How many times I have considered sending a ticket..for someone to come here.
How many times..I have considered filling the tank..and driving away..
I know I have time that I need to use..have to use..for so many reasons..
Use it or loose it..money or not..
Having no life beside work..
Is not the way to be.
I am living it..have been for too long.
Hey! I am perfect.. no issues here!
As I creep up on another milestone. ..
Not getting any younger.
Not where I should be.
You know.. I have so little options..
And I look at all possibilities..
I realize..the few options are literally fighting it out in my head.
Mistakes I have made.. not necessarily regretting..but not having the end result. ... then being reminded..
And realizing.. choices. . And results..
And being presented with uncertanties..vs a diffferent direction. .an unknown..a total different direction uncertain unknown. . One that holds little stability. . But is ..different in its comfort.
Is it a 'grass is greener'..thing?.
Is it a you don't need to get burned again by falling too in love. .
So you have an out that will leave you alone again..
Situation..
Or is it just you screwing up a good thing because you will never be happy or complete at the same time?
I know.. do not second guess it.
Live the moment..because it is fleeting..
You know. .you will never get what you think you deserve.
And barely what you need.
That has been proven.
You may for a minute..
But ..
Not.
Yes... this is an ouch..
A reality check. .
Just me.
R 10/26/16
posted from Bloggeroid
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