Yes, something very familiar about where I am.
Deja vu..
In the Matrix..that means a reset.
Reset.
That means the outcome will be different than planned..expected..
It may or may not be a good different.
But it will be unexpected.
Past experiences make me a pessimist..
The outcome is almost never in my favor.
I know .. negative Nancy..
Just where I am..
I have learned the art of procrastination. .and even though it seems like the thing to do at the time..it usually isnt.
I miss the chance..
Miss the queue..
Dont see the signs..
And usually miss out.
I think I am taking it slow..but the pace is never correct..
I was trying to learn how to just grab hold and not let go..impulsive..
Spontaneous. . But I only get a couple chances..
Get burned and decide not to do that again.. rejection is never easy..
And it jades me to be cautious again.
Yes.. I'd love to be able to walk up and grab your hands push them over your head and back you Into the wall and plant that knee folding kiss..
Just dont have the guts...
Caution and apprehension.. its all part of my self doubt.
Once in a while, I get the 'why not'..attitude.. and it works..
But I am destined to be who I am..not who I want to be.
I dont have a chance with a stranger..thus my downfall.
If you know me..already. . You know if I am more than a friend..
Or not..and you also know how long you will wait to see if I approach our friendship as more..and usually by the time I figure that out.. the moment is passed..
Sad but it happens..
But when I find someone that gets me..and allows it to go beyond that simple friend status. I find it extremely hard to let go.
I realize how difficult it is to wait for me to figure it out..and still stay interested.. even to the point where you advance and make it known. .if I am not being stupid.. I will see and get beyond my doubts and act on it.
Another reason I dont give up on something that works..
Which is why I am.. here alone..and wondering why.
Really this is not directed at any one person..other than me..
I dont understand that after all this time on the planet..why I am here In this place..
I should have a better handle on all this...
Been here before...
R2/28/16
Deja vu..
In the Matrix..that means a reset.
Reset.
That means the outcome will be different than planned..expected..
It may or may not be a good different.
But it will be unexpected.
Past experiences make me a pessimist..
The outcome is almost never in my favor.
I know .. negative Nancy..
Just where I am..
I have learned the art of procrastination. .and even though it seems like the thing to do at the time..it usually isnt.
I miss the chance..
Miss the queue..
Dont see the signs..
And usually miss out.
I think I am taking it slow..but the pace is never correct..
I was trying to learn how to just grab hold and not let go..impulsive..
Spontaneous. . But I only get a couple chances..
Get burned and decide not to do that again.. rejection is never easy..
And it jades me to be cautious again.
Yes.. I'd love to be able to walk up and grab your hands push them over your head and back you Into the wall and plant that knee folding kiss..
Just dont have the guts...
Caution and apprehension.. its all part of my self doubt.
Once in a while, I get the 'why not'..attitude.. and it works..
But I am destined to be who I am..not who I want to be.
I dont have a chance with a stranger..thus my downfall.
If you know me..already. . You know if I am more than a friend..
Or not..and you also know how long you will wait to see if I approach our friendship as more..and usually by the time I figure that out.. the moment is passed..
Sad but it happens..
But when I find someone that gets me..and allows it to go beyond that simple friend status. I find it extremely hard to let go.
I realize how difficult it is to wait for me to figure it out..and still stay interested.. even to the point where you advance and make it known. .if I am not being stupid.. I will see and get beyond my doubts and act on it.
Another reason I dont give up on something that works..
Which is why I am.. here alone..and wondering why.
Really this is not directed at any one person..other than me..
I dont understand that after all this time on the planet..why I am here In this place..
I should have a better handle on all this...
Been here before...
R2/28/16
posted from Bloggeroid
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