Onely

Not quite lonely..
But quite apparent.. you are by yourself.
You have companions..but not any close enough to fill the voids.

Close.
Many different definitions..
You can be close and no where in proximity..
No ability to touch the others presence..
That still works if each are mentally feeling it..
Once that bond is not enough, both lose the feeling.
And the 'Onely' arrives..

You still try..and the new feeling is now aparrent..
I dont know how to revive what I felt across the distances..
I know it isnt enough..
I tried..
I think I am failing.

I have to be content with what we had. And the knowledge that what was, is real..but just not now.

I am so glad I was there...and able to help.

Now..I cannot make suggestions...because it is difficult to quiet my wants and expectations, i need to support my friend in any decisions.
Any suggestions would be tainted with my feelings..and to my benefit..it cannot be helped..I am only human..but I am strong and can remain a friend..and continue to help. . And must push my feelings back In the box.

I have felt this coming..and dread..where it may go..but I still need the contact..and am abit lost without it.
I have got so used to it.and it will take time not to feel the loss of it .

Sorry ...total brain dump...

R 2/7/16

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