i did stuff

Slept till Eric called.. asking for me to deliver his radios tomorrow.. I told him I needs a fuse for the power supply then to test it.

Got up made coffee, figured out what to do for a fuse...I took an automotive fuse and soldered it to the burnt one and slipped it into the fuse holder.  Worked! It powered on and made 13.7v.

So I hooked up his radio.. and checked the counter.. changing channels it made the counter jump! 

Tap on the channel knob..it jumped! 

So opened up and sprayed cleaner in the switch.. fixed !  Tested the radio at full power on the power supply.. transmitted ok. 

The supply hummed a bit.. but it worked.  Button both up, sent Eric a text .. with the bill.

..

Finished replacing caps and aligned the other radio.. sent him an email with the bill

..

Opened the radio that arrived the 8th.. first . Not chipped..socket and conv chip no chip. Also the final was unsoldered... Read the transistor and it measured as a transistor. So connected it and powerd the radio..POP! It exploded.. took it out.. marked correctly.. but a fake.. mis configured . Checked the surrounding parts.. all ok.. put in a test transitor and adjusted the bias . transmits properly.. sent him a text. He asked me to call him.. we spoke.. he was ripped off by the last guy.. 

And he is ordering me a final and wants a chip.  

...

During this I was able to chat with Maine and my brother.. conditions were good. For most of the day and almost to 8pm! 

..

I made dinner, ate and went for dessert.. 

..

Not sure what to do with the car .

I have the new tie rods coming . But wonder if its an axle problem..I did replace both.. both are clunking..

Cheap after market parts? Or did I do it wrong? 

I could put the originals back in...

Or take it to a shop and ask them to look at it. Maybe when I do the tie rods..and take it for the alignment.. ask them.. 

Meanwhile.. keep driving it... ?? 

...

Jen messaged me. Responded to my earlier replys.. said she is adjusting to being alone and feeling better about herself. 

Good for her ..

...

I need to look through the papers A gave me for L.. and then discuss them with L. 

..

I should ask M if she wants to get Breakfast tomorrow....

...

Thoughts of sending a bday gift..or at least a greeting on the 17th..

Should I go there?? 

...

R

busy..

Ok.. I had a busy day.. typical Saturday.

Slept late.. finally.. started the laundry.. got groceries. Looked at the driver's side on Betty. Nothing obvious.. i noticed the axle I replaced , has play.. if I grip it it moved  in and out of the hub.. clunking... Not sure if that is good.. I did order the new Tie rods.. I will need an alignment after replacing both... 

..

Sounds like C is having a good time..still fighting the chest cold..but enjoying being home. 

Im glad I could help.

..

I have another radio in.. today..I replaced some parts in Erics power supply.. need a fuse and then to test.

 And recheck his radio.

Got a 2510 that needs some caps and to.finish the alignment.

..got the 2600 to check and then the older radios ..the stoner and the RS receiver.. and a couple of Ruben's.. 

...

I did both the headlights in Pearl. She should be good...

..

Tomorrow is radio work.. maybe yard work.. blow the leaves into the spot.. check the sprinkler system.. make sure its closed.

...

Maybe contact M for lunch or something..

..

Or just sleep the day away......

R

friday

Got the wonen's room lights converted to LED last night.. gonna need sunglasses to go in there.. 

..

Came in today to find all the floor tiles replaced and the boss and mark and james finishing up.

They cut everything thing and put the free ends under the floor.. a nightmare for another time...

Looks like we are done pulling wires .

I untangled a few blue racks and pulled out a batch and helped James clean up.. 

Then went to clean my bench, order some parts, fixed the bathroom divider and did my training module. 

Then did 2 of the 3 fixtures in the men's room. 

Got called for a control room issue..a shot reload fixed the issue.. the board was confusing mics.. the bad thing was it swapped the weather mic with the director mic.. could have been real bad.. the director comments are typically not fit for air....

R

late shift Thursday

Covering for Brian. He went to NYC for NAB.. got in early, and helped fix the pallet jack with Mark. 

Then Mike showed us how to troubleshoot the Tally when its not right.. remember to look at the network cables....

After that, had Avid cert training with Mike .  Good to know more about MC and how to connect. 

..

Pulled cables.. knocked out all bit 6 of the patch that Brian removed. I will tackle them after dinner . Then need to start on the LED update in the Sales bathrooms ..

...

C texted me from the Airport. She is still sick, but excited. Im sure they have landed, and hope all goes to plan. Maybe she will find a happy thought and let it grow.. 

..

She knows how I feel, and I hope she is considering letting her defenses down.. but if not.. I hope to be a close friend.. 

....

The car is acting up.. clunks persist.. may be tie rods.. or shocks..I may need a professional diag.

I took the passenger wheel off this morning.. inspected what I could..nothing loose or obvious.. the tie rod seemed to move too freely but may be normal.. I need to at the driver's side.. I moved a heat shield.. hoping it is better positioned.. but no difference..at least nothing loose...

..

I need to schedule Revington for the recall . Then Pearl.. 

...

Lets see if I can get some lights replaced tonight...

R

return

Got up had breakfast, met C at work. 

Had lunch. Went to get her some 

Alka-seltzer, she was not feeling good. By the time I got back, she was in her car, got sent home. We said good bye and I hit the road. 

I forgot about the time zone, and realized that I would be 9 or 10 before I got to the hotel. So no OCs.. 

Decided to have lunch. Stopped a Hayes OCs and had 2 .. still driving..so hopped to find one the next day.. ended up at the hotel at 11:30p.. 

The hotel was poor.. had a renovation..but just paint..inside was less than renovated.. but not bad

..just not great. I slept poor, and got up early.. just coffee for breakfast..

Got on the road at 8:30.. 

I hoped to find an OCs on the way, nothing on that route.I only needed 2 for another shirt.. oh well.

I drove till 11:30p pulled over and slept in the car.. it was poor sleep..for about an hour...filled up got coffee and back out on the road for a tank full.. pulled over again and slept 2.5 hrs.. I dont remember where.. Ohio I think...more coffee and a danish.. back out.. the place I entered interstate 80 was past the northern route to 90..so I kept on . Found this route was shorter by nearly an Hour.. then to avoid morning rush hour traffic I went a different route through Connecticut.. inro Rhode Island.. then to familiar I-195.. I arrived at home..after a stop at Walmart.. at 12:30p. 4400 miles round trip.  

...

Not bad . I did a few things after getting home, laundry and dishes..the got mail and pizza for dinner. Even worked on a radio. 

I did fall asleep fast.. and woke still tired.. 

The past couple days have been that way. Maybe the coverage shift tomorrow and regular late shift Friday I can sleep later, Each day. Maybe get caught up this weekend.

...

The car is acting weird.. squeeky on the passenger side.. squeels and clunks on the drivers side..

I need to take the wheels off and check all the bolts.. make sure they are secure... Im a little worried..espect with two back to back late night shifts.. 

Maybe ill take Revington...

...

C is supposed to take Thurs off and leave for Hawaii.. I know she was feeling bad..but I hope she goes regardless.. 

..the trip home, I hope will help her center..I also hope she finds a better income.. I know she is struggling.. and doing all sorts of extras to make ends meet...

Here is to wishing success and satisfaction for her. 

The trip had opportunity for returning to broadcasting..and possibly a revert to a happier time...I hope it works out .. I will send all positive thoughts and vibes her way..to help..

..

So, Thursday I am working for Brian..and a regular Friday night.. 

I need to close out the month.. pay bills and review the papers A gave me...

Gonna look at the car..and maybe schedule the recall service for Revington..then Pearl..

Needs to be done.

..

I also need to think about 

More time off...

Got to use it... 

...

R

springs

I made it early, hung out had beer. Checked in and planned stuff for the week went to dinner with C and aftee met the kids. 

Next day it was cooler, drove around. Went by the old house, met with C and went to lunch at OCs . 

..

Wed, C worked and I rode the Cog to Pikes Peak and back.. then since it was early, I met A for lunch and asked about documents for L and we sifted through her storage and she also gave me her geneology stuff. 

Met with the guys for Best Buy at OCs .. got to the hotel late. 

Slept poor. 

Thursday spent the day with C. Ahe picked me up.  Errands and a visit to Lebowski's, C finished her tour for her shirt. We also had lunch.  Then visited her old work and ha a couple beers, then met her travel partner downtown Old Colorado City. Had a pitcher and some green chili fries. 

She had work the next day so she took Me back. 

We had long discussions, and I told her all my feelings... And she reminded me about herself.. and dont want me to hurt her or myself.

Im still very interested.. not sure if I convinced her.. 

I hope I didn't scare her away.. too much disclosure too soon.. and as always.  Time and distance..that bane of my heart....

But.. I still want to try..

She is thinking about me . ..I think.

..

Well if we cant..we can stay close and be friends.. 

...

She brought me back to the hotel and I told her I was going to go over to add to the tour.  Ao Friday, She woke with a sore throat and asked if I felt ok.

...I  got up for breakfast.. slept poor .  Sore a lil hungover but that was all. 

Sorted my luggage and clothes.  Went to the station and visited.. 

It was cool.. I tried to contact Mike.. and he finally got back with me.. still feeling bad and could not meet with me. So I went to the hotel and then to OCs for a couple to add to the tour.  Booked my first return Hotel.. and figure I can leave around noon and drive 8hrs and stop and hit another OCs . ..

Tonight.. hanging with C.. in a few..

...

R

half way

More or less, stopped got a room west of Chicago. Just over 1000 miles to go.. gonna change to the Kansas route .  Only chance for an OCs visit . And its less tolls. Hopefully less construction.

Trip has been ok. Not really bad traffic, only a small batch of rain during the day.. lots of construction but also lots of good roads.. and I-90 has less mountains.

The check engine light has been on.. but no real issues. A couple weird starts but no oil use..so far.

..

Last night, Jeff and I chatted for 3 hours and 4 hrs driving, i stopped to try to nap for 2 hours.. then coffee and snack and 2 more hours sriving and stopped and slept for 3 hrs! Stopped for a late lunch and then decided on the route and the mid e hotel. 

..

C has sent a few msgs. Good so far.

..

I will arrive late Sunday.. so will need to find a place to sleep .

..

Battery is dying..

More later...

R

departure

Working tonight.. planning on heading out after work . Guessing starting on I -90 w. Gonna drive till im tired.  Get the head start. 

I have over packed.. have too much extra gadgets.. too much cash..

Hoping not to need any of it ... But will be grateful if I do need some.

Got most of my tasks done this week at work.. car seems to behaving..

...

I have told a few, that im coming and will see who to tell after I get there. I should see Mike and Kendall and Kathy and Jen.. as time and availability permits. 

...

I will check on the mini in Peyton . Maybe a gift . Depends..but It would be a good gesture. 

..

Work is in the middle of the prep for purchase..no one has said..but.. it appears that way . 

..

Time for food....

.. 

Im headed back to work for the next 3 hours.. 

R

radio Sunday

I woke early, decided to fix Enie's radio. Spent time last night going through the tuning . But it was still off looked at the master clock.. set that and done. So I started looking at his mic.. first checked if the connections were good.. then tried my cable on his and his on mine.. 

The preamps worked differently but the problem was in his cable. Thought the dn button was not working..so opened the mic.. found the preamp batteries dead and one shorted.. mune were weak too, but not dead. Replaced them all. 

Got the dn button working . Seemed to be dirty . So opened his cable and mine . His has no shield on the audio wire.. i had a new cable so I started removing his connectors and qiting to the new cable. I wired the last one backwards..and fixed it . Now aeems to be working! 

... 

So I moved to the 940.. replaced the coil. Reassembled.. powered up . No smoke! But still no tx.. checked voltages, good.. found a miswired connection..still no tx . I need to trace through the TX/PTT lines . Cause even the SEND button isnt working.

... 

Time for a break ..

R

late night

Ok.. 

Its late..im out and thinking about this...

..

I have trip planned.. just the travel..no real itinerary..I want to visit...and be a tourist.. I hope to connect, and remember my friends.. see as many as I can.. and explore what I neglected in the 15 years I lived there..

.. it isa vacation..time away.. something for me..

..

I want what I have been missing..and want to feel better..

So far work has been my only .. I have my home and family.. the one that lives with me..and that is all..

I have been isolated for so long.. I dont know anything else..

Im alone..and fighting being lonely..

Sometimes losing.. mostly not caring..I have been here for so long..

I really just want to be needed and loved for who I am..

But so many years of that not happening..not even close..so much pain..and loss.. just me.. misunderstood..and neglected...

Never getting what I need .. zero personal satisfaction..I have to create my own..to keep on.. without that ...I would be invisible .. nothing..

But I am so much more than that.. I love fiercely..I care more than most..

I can be someones salvation..and rescue my own heart.. but no one lets me... No one.

...

I do try. 

I really do..

But ... All in vain..

...

So..as a mind flush..im driving.. 

Just to do..

..

Someone..anyone.. save me...

..

R

friday night

It feels like a weird day.

Nothing went to plan. Just winging it..

Was texted at 7 by work for a non issue.. tried to go back to sleep.

Got up at 9.. made dinner for L and J at 10:30..packed my stuff and was out by 11:30.. got to work at 12:30 and read.till 1:20.. went in and spent most of the day pulling wires.

Hvac checks and sorting email.

..

I should get up early and get the groceries and laundry done .. 

..

I have radios to do and i should change pearls oil .

..

Let see what gets done and what needs to be done.

R

workin

Regular week ...but busy. 

The last few days coming in at 8:30. Payday tomorrow.. bills paid.. trip planned.. cars running good ..

Work stable for now . 

I need to get my travel stuff sorted..

Found the camera.. charging batteries.. ..

Gonna text a few and maybe schedule a few visits.

I need to check on the cog. 

...

Maybe see about a station visit .

.

So, who will see me? 

What can I expect? 

All good things I hope..

..

Not looking for stress or anything uncomfortable..

Looking for fun and friends.

..

The drive should be good..not sure if I should reserve a hotel mid way or not..

It is October.. it may be too cold to sleep in the car...

Im thinking on leaving from work on Friday driving till tired..stop and nap and drive Saturday.. its 20 hours to the destination..so I could get a hotel..I should book one in Illinois.. sleep on a bed..10 hours.. 

I will have to check it.

..

So.. how to approach each possibility.. 

..

That is what I need to do . Make a plan and see if it works.

..

R

...

booked

I decided to go..

I booked a air BnB..only to find they eanted a $500 damage deposit..refundable..but not! 

So I canceled it... Booked a hotel down south ..near Old Cs! 

Maybe plan on the cog and maybe seven falls . Maybe go to the station..

Its a week.. 

Hopefully see the people .

And chat with Caraigh..

Or more..

I would like to see Anita.. and Cathy..it will be nice, of course Dave and Kendal.. maybe even Mike.

I need to make the best of the time.

I would like to commit a considerable amount of time to one in general if it works out........

No worries no pressure..just a hope..

...

The cars are good. Pearl needs an oil change.. Revington needs a recall service as well..

Got to schedule that..

..

Put in for the time. . Should have no issue getting it approved.. i booked a hotel and prepaid . So, lets see.

...

Ali should be home...her sister went too. I hope they both have a great time together.

I need to plan a visit . .

Hopefully I am still welcome.

...

I was home all day.. Sunday.. I needed an excuse.to go out.. so I went shopping at S&S.. but went back home.. made an early dinner so I could get a brownie Sunday.. and drinks.. been working on radios and stuff.. but it was a slow day.

Nothing planned for Monday, maybe meet with Enie and collect his kenwood.

Gonna sleep in ..

... 

So nothing going on at all.. bored, lonely. Alone.. not a bad thing..but not what I want .or ever wanted.

...

Oh well ......

R

back

Back to a regular work week. Out for dinner..looks like the Manager got a demotion? Or at least isnt our manager any longer.. the new DOE is the manager.

..

I do not have to be at the airport on the 4th..so I am thinking a road trip..

Checking hotel prices... October.. not a good time to be treking..but.. get in a week and see. Not sure of an itinerary.. see Dave..Kathy..Caraigh...Anita..maybe take in some sites. Maybe the Cog..maybe visit the station...

Wondering how close to stay to what..

Could be cheap... Could be expensive.

.. just need to go..

If I go cheap..i may not enjoy..but maybe just use it as a last resort base...

I should... 

I just need to talk myself into it....

.

R

summer is over

Just a quick note..

Summer is over..

Ali is headed home..

It is the sign of summers end.

I think we are missing on all levels but one..friends. that is where we end ...

Delays..bad timing.. bad circumstances..and misunderstandings..

All this time..and this is what it becomes...

... 

Im sure in that different time line

. .. it was glorious.. but . .. I am here .

And I missed it..

...

Till next time

...

R

normal

Kinda a normal Saturday. Up early enough to do the laundry and groceries.  .. even shipped some radio parts out.

Then did the rear brakes on Pearl..

Found the squeaking was because the pasenger rear break pads had seperated from the plates.. and one on the driver side.

I did replace both rotors and both wheel bearing hubs.. the vibration is gone too! 

So other than the fact that the driverside caliper rubber is pinched and torn ... I know I will be replacing it someday. But for now it is better than ever.

Found lots of rust and looking at new rear shocks someday in the future. 

..

But got it all back together and took 

a shower then we went to dinner.

..

Busy but productive day. 

R

right decision

Well, since I have a cold, I decided to cancel going to dinner at Kathy's. 

I don't want to get anybody else sick. Its just a cold, but no idea how it would affect her mom or moms boyfriend. That are both in their 80's.. and Ali and Kath are traveling next week . 

Best not to share my cold.

I did miss put on homemade Boston Cream pie... Ali is gonna bring me a plate.. hopefully a slice of pie too.

So after work, sleep and a shower,i feel pretty good..maybe im at the end of it.

...

joseph have improved.. he is eating and meowing less. J and L and I have been dispensing his meds.. he is better with it that I expected. And it seems to help..

No report from the vet yet .

..

Tomorrow is chore day.. groceries and laundry.. I should also do the rear brakes on Pearl 

And look at the wiring to the PCV on Betty ..if I can find it.

...

Got stuff to get in the post . And need to look at the Kenwood again..

..

But its a 3day weekend ..  

..

R

tomorrow is friday

End of the 2 week coverage.

I have a cold.. Joseph is sick.

Had to take him to the vet ..urgent care. He is going to be ok.. needs meds.. tough to give a cat a pill and a liquid..but he does feel better once his meds kick in.poor guy..

Waiting on the results of the tests.

..

I made adjustments to the mortgage..indirectly..I lowered the extra coverage on the insurance..and paid the insurance $500.. toward next years bill. Hopefully it will keep the mortgage from increasing.

...

I have a cold... Started with 2 days of sore throat ..now all congested..

I hope its over quickly..

..

Tomorrow evening is dinner at Kathy's..I will need to get pizza and Subs for the house before I go .

I wish I didnt have a cold.

...

So .. its Thursday..im congested..tired but full and ready for sleep.gonna finish my meal..and go home. Hopefully sleep.

..

Ive spent money this month..made some charges..and worked some OT..I have also gave some cash way..and paid for the cat's medical.

I reatructured the escrow..made money reductions to the house insurance..in an effor to keep the mortgage down.

Ive bought stuff online ..utilizing the dormant cards... But will have to pay them off as they come due...

...

Keeping the credit good..

...

I ordered and received prarts for Pearl..I need to do that thus weekend.

..

Thats it for now..

I need sleep.

R

week done

I made it through the first if the 2 coverage weeks.. 

The last couple days have been hard.

Not sleeping well.. not getting to sleep early enough.. getting up on time and to work on time . Just ling days. I have not felt so worn by the end of the day in a long time.

By the time I get used to this it will be back to the regular schedule.

Oh well...

I did get some OT this week and last week.. and I forgot to log the holiday . So I corrected that! 

Plus the early mornings pay 15% differential !!  So 2 weeks is 10 days with a 2 hour a day % differential..

It should be a decent paycheck.

..

I have almost $3k on radio cash put away.. it would help on a road trip...

..

I have the normal Saturday chores tomorrow.. laundry and groceries.. 

Hopefully will see Ali.. and we can do something together.

Maybe if the weather is good, we could do the cliff walk? 

I will suggest.. we can do the back roads and spend the day .

..

I do need to get some of the radios fixed.. 

And mow the lawn( translation.. weeds)...

..but spending time with Ali is more important.

..

L and J have had a good week.. and L is back to work on Sunday. 

The dental was a success and she is happy with the results.. and the new meds have had no issues ..  as far as Ive been told..

Im not a fan of meds.. but some are needed and work as prescribed.

..

Gingers ..

 ..

Nothing happening anywhere else.. 

I guess it's a good thing...

...

R

tomorrow is friday... a Friday..

Been a ling week.. poor sleep, early mornings long days.. I worked 2 hours late yesterday and one hour late today .  The afternoon traffic is still bad.. got tomorrow and another week of this.. Monday we get our new boss. Hopefully he is easy to work with..

I got home after work today and was worn out.. took a nap and alept 3 hours. So now its after 8 PM and im out for dinner.

...

Yesterday I got one of the two mail in boards fixed . I need to replace a few parts on the second one. 

.. I got Enie's Kenwood fixed and the other mobile and took them to him Tuesday after work.

I need to get back into the big radio for the HAM guy. And look at the rest that have been waiting.

...

Last night L and J and I went to the Hibachi place and celebrated J's third year with us.

...

As always , I have no idea what I am doing, I think I know what I want..but nothing I do helps me get there. I just seem to get further away. All the effort is useless. Oh well.

...

I need to plan a road trip.. a go visit run. My excuse will be to stretch the new engine's legs.. but I need a few days away from work.. and a road trip is probably the best way.. plus I have time to burn.. 

I may be nice to see the old friends and all that includes.

...

The summer has flew by..nothing notable.. supported Ali and went to the memorial and the service. 

I got to spend time together.

..we also did the ferry to P-town and spent the day together. That was fun.

We even got in a swim at the pond.

So the summer was not completely wasted.

..

The family property issues still prevail.. no payout.. just more BS from the Lawyers..

And more fighting among the different families..

It may be over by the end of the year.

As always the town and the lawyers are the only ones making any money.

That age has passed.. and we are so far from it that it will never be the same.

...

Ordered rear brakes for Pearl.. gonna do that before the weather changes..

..

To keep sane, I am just doing the work thing..no plans there except keep on for at least 7 or 8 years.. we will see if the new manager or the sale of the company affects that...

..

Desert then home and sleep.

R

lets try this ...

Had a few thoughts earlier. 

Let see... How far. .  

In the past..

I loved a girl. .. she was sweet, beautiful friendly and I thought loved me too......

Ok.. multiply that a few times..

..

Same story a few times...

..

The first.. worth reminiscing about..

Was a blonde cutie.. we met along the usual lines.. mutual friends and shared interests..

Took me a few years to finally date her . . It was an honest effort..

We dated for 3 weeks... remember that . .. she and I only went out once . Planned on a movie.. I don't remember where we went . But got her home on time and every other date never happened..  the final date, I went to pick her up.. her mom (we were kids) said she went roller skating with friends . . ?? .. so I went to the rink.. and tried to catch her on the floor.. she was a better skater, every time I got close she avoided me... 

So, I took off my sweatshirt..and snuck up on her.. tapped her on the shoulder, said hi! And see you, im going home.

I left..

..years later.. I met ran into her  at a store.. we chatted a bit.. I said you know I really liked you. Her reply was, ' I really liked you too...I dont know why I did that to you...' I just replied..'did what?' ....

.....

I have saved conversations with another...I ran across... 

We were chasing eachother for a few months.. we were former coworkers..and she approached me.. expressed interest..and we went back and forth for a few months with out ever dating..we finally went out a couple times..weeks apart.. and it ended.. I realized later she had been dealing with an abusive boyfriend/ex-boyfriend..and then even though she knew our age difference, Was convinced , probably by her mother, I was too old for her.. she broke it off.

...no explanation. Just done .

..

My issues are, if you seek me out.. .lure me in.. develope a better relationship with me . .. I think I deserve either an explanation when either im not up to your expectations or you think I dont want you. Before you evaporate. Dont just disappear, stop communication.. I do my best to dedicate time for you If your in my life.. even if we cant see each other every day.. if I end up guessing if I have done or not done something..I have already lost ....

..

I had a conversation with a different person recently.. we had a relationship.. it changed.. the time and distance thing..

I have made comments about that before..

but we remained good friends and still are .

.. we had a vacation together, after we were more just friends..

And it was good till it wasnt.. and the vacation was over.. several years later.. we met up on a visit.. they apologized for treating me badly when I visited.. I just said thanks, but I dont know what you are talking about...

I do. I don't want to discuss it.. because I would need explanations..not apologies..

I don't think anyone will know why..

..I cared and we had already discussed the no boyfriend thing, just friends situation.  I was ok with all that. I just wanted to be with you when you were around, as I told you..  So we could be together when we were available.

Life.. only gives us this . I just wanted it to be happy while it was...nothing more..

The weave and the wheel comes around when it does.. 

...

Im not sure if I have another left in my schedule..I think I have missed all my chances..

..

I dont even think the 3 week rule works anymore.

..

Just keep on with my day to day.. and see where I end up ..

...

R

friendship and family

Went to both events with Ali. I was not sure if I wanted to, but did for support. The family accepted that I was supporting Ali.. and them. It was appreciated. It was an interesting first event in honor of the child. 

I am friends to both grandparents and Ali. So it was important that I showed my support. 

I went to the second event..the service, as support for Ali. Her sister recognized that I was there for her.

I do not like funerals of any kind. But. It was well done. As i expected it would be. 

...

Work has been busy.. still having transmitter issues.. not sure why ..

Annoyed..but I need to get it fixed.

Some network issues..but cant pin it on that.. fixed a few related things and have another firmware update to do..it could be related...I have the HVAC guys scheduled for next week..

.. still pulling cable..I did get the door opener installed today . hopefully it will work better than the paint can. 

....

Radios..

Little headway.. thinking about how to proceed.. I have an Idea.. 

Still working on Enies Kenwood..not sure why there is new fails..go through and check everything and fix what needs to be done... 

The big base.. I was told he did the power supply install.. I think the DC amp voltage is or has AC on it..

Got to confirm amd fix it.

..bought a scope..its physically bigger than I thought..bit seems to work. Probably paid too much..but I can always sell it later..I need to make room for it on the desk.

. The Stoner ..need to have time to figure out what happened.. and reinstall the new Final. See if I can get it to TX..

...

L finally got the tooth pulled. In chair no surgeon.. local anesthesia.. went good. 

..

A regular Friday tomorrow..then 5 days of morning shifts..for the next 2 weeks.

..

I need a vacation..

..

R

end of the week..

Heading into what would normally be a long weekend..just not for me since I dont work Mondays..

I think Ali wants a ride to an event on Sunday. I said I would.

Also the two weeks after im covering Marks shifts so, early mornings and home mid afternoons 5 days both weeks. 

I may be able to take Ali and K to the airport after all ..

Need to check the dates.

...

L has seen the head shrinker and got a med. Started them yesterday.. I need to check and see if they think its helping. Or if anything has changed.

..

Im loaning Betty to the IT guy to take his daughters to lunch on Tuesday.

His oldest likes my car and it was my idea for him to do it to give her a thrill.

..

Radios.. 

Going through Enies found more stuff not working properly.. replaced a bad transitor need to check a few other circuits. 

The big radio ..I need to trace out the 18v line and see if its bad.. stuff keeps burning up..

Need to get back to the stoner and gregs other radios.. and look at the damaged base.. 

..

I need a vacation! 

..

Do I go out west or down south or just for a walkabout?? 

..

Need to decide . 

R

lots

The month end is near.. the transmitter is still iffy..the HVAC techs are Gonna review and estimate repairs and a service contract..

The infamous garage control pedestal has failed...this time it will need new wires pulled through the parking lot..time to call a contractor..

I still need to finish the weather door ...need to drill some more holes..and order a door handle.

I started working on the Sat dishes..

While working on strapping down dish 3..I got whacked in the head by a 2 lb cable hook from 7ft.. but finished strapping it down.. 

Ouch!

..

Ali is here we spent a couple days hanging out .took the ferry from Plymouth to PTown and back. 

A good time.

She looks good..

I think we have a couple weekends before she goes back home..

I still want to spend as much time as I can.. I usually feel so good around her.. good energy..

I know... Its just two people that get along well together.

The time has passed.. just one that could have been..at least we are still friends. ..

The local is busy and being summer.. plenty to do and get done.

..

The sale at work may be pending..may be an owner I had worked for in the past.. no good or bad there..I hope..

Also, the GM says we may have a new manager..after the background check..he is in..

Former local.. a sports guy..may or may not be big news capable..but hopefully wont quash the on going projects..

..

No vacation in sight.. hope the transmitter holds out, then maybe I can get away for a bit..

..

The cars seem to have settled down..and i have a few troublesome radio repairs to finish..

..

Been feeling a bit defeated..in the repairs ..

Need a few wins..

Every where .

R

is August almost over?

Still having transmitter issues.. no sure where they are coming from.

I updated the software yesterday and today.. lets see if it lasts more than a week..

I need some road time..but running out of summer.. 

No one to 'share' it with.. so lets just go and enjoy...

...more.

No one is reading this..

But ..  I do this for me. 

I re-read it..to see how I felt.. cause I have no one to tell..to ask.. just me.

I am beyond lonely and alone..I am just me..I have always been just me.

Take it or leave it . 

...

My ex is a recovering mess.. so sad so sorry.. I wish I could help..I did love her.. 

But..Im still alone.. and it affects no one but me..

..

Just keep going..and maybe find peace..

R

car and radio

I finally washed the clothes i used to fix the car.. been a smal pile of jeans and tees .  I think i have accepted that the cars ae done for now.

I did the passenger side sway bar link.. I found the existing one was loose..if you turned the wheel.. I replaced it anyway with the new one.

. Then I worked on the Big Kenwood..

Im tracing the tx line.. I think its in the amp. The radio has connection issues..I did resolder the RF board..only found a few poor connections.. 

More searching..

I ordered parts for the Ts430..and hope to get that one done.

..

I was considering lunch.. 

I should..just to see..

I think that has passed..I missed that boat. As always.  

No one wants this .. never did..

Too bad.. 

I guess for me.. 

No one to grow old with..

...

Mortgage is going up ..because of the Taxes increase..

Pay $415.. and the monthly only goes up $30.

..

Got no new bills.. cars are good..

I need a trip to eat my spare cash..

Cant take it with ya..

Have nothing to pass on..

No one to share it with..

So..

...

Yeah.

R

fixed.... More...

So.. they found issues in the elbow and the line between two elbows. Bad! Burnt, melted insulators and blistering copper on the end near the connector.. soot, powder from disintegrated insulator from heat. 

They replaced the inner conductor and cleaned the piping and one of the tuners. Reassembled it all and Jim started measuring it again and we did some tuning.

Ran it into the load for an hour and went for it . Turned on up to full power and checked the monitors.. 

The crew cleaned up and we packed up.  Ran good.... Stated at 8am, on the air by 8pm. .....

Ran all night.  At 6:45am the next day.. it tripped off again!!!!

I was already on my way. Went directly to the site.  Talked with the tower crew as they were doing final cleanup.. did some visual checks, found one of my monitor systems was off line, and the system time base was off by more than 12 hrs.. 

So, corrected all that.. powered into the load for an hour..checked temperature readings and also reset the transmitter controller..

Switched it back on the air after 2 hrs.  And watched it probed it.. for 2 hours.. and it has been running..

So far..3 days.. 

...

Hopefully its fixed ..

..

Doing a project at the station.. wiring an outlet and a controller for remote door access in from the deck..

It should be welcomed.  

And it didnt cost $20,000..  as was the quote.. it cost $75 plus mine and Brian's labor....

..

I heard from the visitor.. and we hung out for a bit, walked on the beach and chatted..

I also heard from the ex, told me the nightmare they just went through..

And heard from the local friend, a reminder that we have not had time for each other but in their thoughts..

..

With the Tx issue done.. 

And the rest working as planned .

Its time for a road trip for me...and to road worthy Betty...

Maybe 5 days...

I need to make a plan...

...

Then get some sleep...

R

fixed?? fixed.

Met the tower crew monday, the parts were not arriving till Tuesday.

Discussed the project.. and they left.

Went home at noon. 

Tuesday in at 8, tower crew was late..traffic.. in at 9:30.

Jim was there.. the parts arrived at 9.

We started removing the roof elbow as the crew started getting setup.

Jim prepped the line and we took lots of pictures. 

More

friday..may get a partial weekend

Got a tower crew scheduled, may arrive Monday. Parts may not arrive till Tuesday..

Got quotes and passed them on, PO's are scheduled.. 

May get the good better parts which is what I would want.  Bill is gonna be approx $25k.. maybe more..

..

Heard from a old friend, short chat and a few hits on social media. 

..

Car still has the engine light, and the sway bar links arrived.. probably doing those tomorrow. 

..

I finished my book . Forgot to grab the next one.. 

..

I should try to go swimming this weekend.. supposed to be warm, and I have not had a chance yet..

..

No other contact.. except a car related msg early last week..

I wonder if I can still take a short road trip.. once this work stuff is fixed. ..

..

I have done little radio work,and have some lined up.. got to work on the Stoner and the receiver..  and look at the damaged base. 

..

The car and the work issues have worn me out. 

I need time off and need to get back in a groove .

I did vacuum the house..

And cleaned up under my desk . So getting some stuff done...

R

no rest

So the techs, did not find anything to show why we are tripping off ..pointed to the combiner .

Notified ATC corp and the site..

Had a conf call on Monday.. scheduled the combiner tech and went in for that. All day . . Evening and late night.. looks like a few bad elbows..need a tower crew to verify and repair.  

Long hours.. already 5 hrs OT..and still have Friday.. 

..

Car has been good..filled the trans fluid, buffed out the mud flap scrape..the catalytic converter code came back..it was good for a tank...

..

I need time off

..

R

Saturday. traffic, groceries and work

Got up early-ish.. took a shower..then went to get groceries.. traffic on the way home.. plus bicycles.. road race..more traffic.. got home.. left for work at 12..traffic at the split.. 

The techs hit traffic also . .. got onsite 15 min before me. 

Showed them around.. got clearance to drop the equipment trailer.. turned off the TX and set to local control..

Stopped in at the station. Did my timecard and left the bad door badge in James' office.. stopped in master control and explained the tx work.

Went home.. traffic.. looked at the sway bar.. not anything noticeable.

Took a nap..

Then to dinner.

The techs asked If I can come in tomorrow and turn on the tx so they can look at thermals.. they did not find anything so far.

It may be the line between the two buildings.. not good...

I sent status texts and an email.

So up early tomorrow..drive to the tx by 8.

......

R

friday

Ok..the cars are back to running and on the road.

The engine replacement went well. I found my major mistake..I did not reconnect the engine ground. I cleaned the catalytic converter and after a tank of gas the engine light went out. Plus!. I have clunking on the passenger side..either I did not tighten the sway bar link or its done and needs a replacement. 

Otherwise its running pretty good.

The spare car blew the alternator..and killed the battery.. I replaced the alt and recharged the battery and it has been good.

I was planning on loaning it to A while she was here.

But no confirmation as to when..

..

That may be done.. I dont think I have survived past the ' 3 week' interval.. more than that.. but same scenario... 

It a shame because we were really good friends..

..

So a terrible summer so far . Just work and car repairs.. work is busy and stressful.. no release.. personal has been all car repair..and no release.. radios.. not getting anywhere fast..

..

I will do something.. I need to..

Probably by myself.. 

...

I have transmitter issues and techs are arriving tomorrow..and hopefully can figure out where the problems are and get them done..

Then I can relax..

..

I hope .

..

R

end of the month

Ugh .

Transmitter issues.. car issues..

Life goes on..

Techs are coming out Saturday.. I am the contact..and will have to let them in.

Working for Mark.. so early mornings ...traffic and long days..traffic.. repeat..

The major project car is running..making noises..but so far ok... something to do with the suspension..i think..

But seems to be working..

The spare blew a alternator.. but got that fixed.. 

Im covering for Mark.. which means early days.. and traffic on the way home..

Im burnt out..and not done..

Got techs coming to diagnose transmitter..this weekend..I have to let them in.

..so short weekend and early days..

..

I need a vacation..

R

can we say long day..

Yep. Got up early, got gas, arrived before 8am.. tx off, aux on.  Since 5:30a. I had Master Control switch back to the main.. did it wrong, off air..tried again.  Up and working.. 10 min tripped off again.. on.. a few more off.. so went back to the aux .and I went to the transmitter site.

I was supposed to meet with the city water department at 9:30.. 

I turned on the Backup.. setup a laptop to the backup, using the front lan port.. installed remote software and tested it. We have control. 

I texted Mike F and asked for suggestions. He called me back.

He said he had a contact at tech support..and will get someone to call me. He did say.. I need to switt off the main. It could be causing damage.

So I put the backup on and it was working well. 

Tech support called me and we looke at logs and retuned the exciters and he said we need to visually examine the lines and switches and purposed it may have been a humidity issue caused by the different temps and issues we have had. Now we have arcing and it will continue and get worse.

So up and running.. the water department guy, never came by.. i contacted the site mgr, and he said they have been there all morning.. and was in the parking lot now.. i went out..and he said, im searching for the leak. I dont need access to your building. 

Im so glad it wasnt a waste.of time. 

In the meantime i figured out the gui issue with the backup transmitter.. it had the same network address as the replace rack Computer.. fixed that.. now we have remote control!

..

Now I have to inform the management.. and ask whats next

.

When I get back..the engineer that Mike emailed yesterday, calls me

. After explanations..he offers to call the corp eng mgr and start the process to get a tech out to work on this. Many emails and phone calls later. We are waiting for pricing and availability..

Plus I had another repeating water leak and had to reboot a set display computer..

..

The car project..

The replacement shock and the other new one are for a different year..not the one im fixing

So I waited a week for nothing

And I cannot find decent priced replacements..so.. tomorrow I am just gonna reassemble the car and move on..

I will do the struts another time.

Unless I find a kit and assemble them my self for under $300.

...

The month is nearly over..next week im covering for Mark wed thru Fri..

Early morning shifts and  zip trip..

Gonna be an a series of early long days.

..

Boy do I need a vacation....

R

..

Thursday

One more..

Been a busy day.. got up late after turning off all alarms... because I got up early yesterday..but made it into work nearly on time.

Busy all day.. tx issues..pulled tons of wires in the core..and never made it to the transmitter..after i left..i had to ask Brian to go to let the water tech in.. and I need to be there in the morning..

Another long day ..

I need a vacation...

R

Sunday..

Slept till 11.. decided to go to the transmitter.  On the road by 1:15..Sunday traffic.  Made it to the transmitter by 2:20. Checked everything.. turned on the main into the dummyload.. working fine.

Opened a ticket.. called tech support.... He called back.. after getting to his hotel .. could not aee an issue.. said to send the logs and put it back in service..

Waited 45 minutes..still good . Went to the shop and talked with Brian . Then went home.. made early dinner and went out for dessert.. 

Heading home..

R

not the week I expected

Two steps fwd three back.. not a lot of headway.

I did get further on the car and the rest of the correct parts came in. 

Got the motor in.. had to install it differently..this time pull up from the bottom.. I did have to remove the catalytic converter.. got the motor mounts and transmission mount locked down. Started installing the upper components.. reinstalled the catalytic converter but had to remove one of the sensors to get the heat shield on.. then put the rear firewall on and battery .box and harneses for the computer.., installed the air conditioning compresser.. started connecting, the coolant hoses.. realized I didnt install the belt.. and after 30 min , I had to look up a picture cause I could not figure out how it went on..got that.. 

Mounted the intercooler, and coolant hose.. prefilled a pint of coolant.. relized I had to disconnect the computer and remove the firewall again to put in the turbo vent hose.. and then reassemble all that again.

Steps...

The control arms arrived..all I have done is verify they are the right ones.. 

The lower exhaust clamp needed replacement, I had one I ordered last year, so I restled the old metal gasket off, and fought with the new one.. wrong size.. just a hair, but the metal gasket is smaller.. so I cleaned an straightened the old one and put it back on.. I stole the bolt from the new one...painted it and then after assembly greased it. The clamp is stainless steel, the gasket is copper, the bolt is untreated steel :(

So done under there for now ..

Next is the radiator, support frame and fan .. coolant and oil and filter change. That includes the intake assembly and hood latches and maybe the hood. 

Then if all that goes well, start with the control arms and bushings and struts and hubs.

Hopefully it works and no more issues.

..

.

Work..

Hvac issues, Brian and I worked on it, found a loose power wire to the controller..it fell out.. basically rebooting it..Mike was gonna do that Tuesday..  the next day, all control was lost.. the data amp was hung, i pulled the fuse to the damper and it started connecting..the fuse is loading the 24v down to 15v and the fuse above is loading to 13v.. I think there is a damper board on each that may be bad.

.

Next the main transmitter went off line at 6am on Thursday.. I went in early and found the antenna switch , when in remote control switches back from antenna to load.. by it self..so i left it in local mode.. yesterday we had several power glitches , this morning one at 6am and finally at 2pm, the main went off.. I told Ryan how to switch it to the Aux.. 

I hooked up my laptop. To try to connect.. no go.. texted the IT guy James.. no answer till 9pm..

He thinks the VPN was updating..and told me to try again later....

I am thinking on going in Sunday to set it to the backup tx.. which is 10kw more than the aux and half the main...

Just we have no gui for the backup..

(Needs to be fixed.. firmware update, but I didnt have wifi to connect it remotely to tech support.. it just got fixed..last week) .....

But it stronger and if it stays working..then it is a main tx issue..not a site issue..

..

Looks like if I want to do this properly .I will go in and work till its fixed..

..

.

.

..

So.  Feeling a bit stressed.. grumpy. Stretched.. its Summer, I have no plans and no one to do them with if I did..my car is down,  and I have no ambition to get it done.. the house is filthy, no one cares.. so why should I? ..my body hurts.. I need to see the dentist, the eye Dr. As well as find a general practitioner.. still have none.. 

Not really a priority..

Just a nothing summer . I have not even been swimming.  The radio repairs have been pending the car and work..I have done a little here and there.. more of a few good and more bad.. nothing bringing the joy of fixing it.. mostly just chores at this point.

...

Dole drums..

..

A should be local in a few weeks.  

Maybe that will help .

Or make it worse..

..

That is where I am...

Weird..lost and confused..over worked , stressed and just alone.

..

R

mid month

Car...

Got out the broken bolt..connected the torque convertor and installed the starter, also the rest of the harnesses, swapped out the oil filter housing. Cleaned the catalytic converter.. ordered new sensors.

Worked on the bushings..ended up pulling the control arms and bushings.. tried getting the bushing off..wont budge.. so I ordered new control arms.. I will see if I can grease them up and presa them on.

So the front end will be almost all new..

I need to install the cat sensors and install the cat and heat shields..ans then the motor is ready to go back in

I will need to change the oil and filter. When the control arms arrive, I can reassemble the suspension.

..I hope the new motor and transmission work properly.

..

Work...

After severe rain, yesterdays commute took 3 hours and 20 min ! 

Part of the hwy was closed due to flooding and stalled cars..

The detour added 25min..

..stayed 25 min late and came in 30 min early today.

Spent most of the start working with Mike on the HVAC.. made some realizations..but not resetting anything on a Friday..and Mikes out all next week.. 

.

Fun..and busy..

R

July 1st week

Welcome to July.

Still pulling cables at work, still working on Betty.

Figured out the ball joint and the passenger axle.  Pulled the motor. Got the other axle out.. 2.5 lb hammer and a bar. Swapping parts from the old to the new.. harnesses , sensors, altenator.. found a crushed coolant pipe, and a broken screw. Got to see if I can extract it..its for the intake valve. Got most of the harness connectors reconnected.

Pulled the starter..need to do the flex plate to torque converter nuts..then I can install the starter.

I received the new passenger side axle.. and another incorrect part to return..fortunately, I dont need it.

I took out the struts, gonna replace those.. need to wrestle off the control arms bushings.. and finish assembling the motor.. then try to put it all back together. Oh yeah, i need to clean all the burnt/vaporized oil out of the catalytic converter..and sensors..

Its taking a bit longer.. 

..

I regiatered for Minis on the Mac..but after looked and saw they moved the start date to Friday.. no way to get there in time.. and no refunds.. 

.. I will need a test drive... Probably Colorado..go visit for a few days..see a few people..

..

L is doing ok.. new therapist.. did have an issue the other night, got something in the eye..I went and took L home and flushed it out with a cup of water.. and they went back to work.

..

I forgot I was covering for Brian today..came in at 9am..not 1:30p

But still gonna work till 11:30p

.. I was gonna go home at 7p.. but decided to work though.

..

.

Just got a credit report.. finally broke through.. up to 890! I had been hovering at 850 for years..

..

Thats all..

Nothing new anywhere else.. not meeting anyone..and gave up looking.

N kinda left me burned out..

Lots of effort and no result.

..oh well..

.

I did my will..just need to get it notarized..and put it in the safe.

Also got a letter from another Cotuit Lawer..redoing the precentages and dna.. 

Getting close

.

R

frustrations

Im fighting with betty.

Trying to get the axles out..means..freeing thw ball joint..

No joy.

..gave up for tonight.

Went to dinner...then drinks..

Now..i need sleep.

Im alone.and heading home for sleep.

close

6 days in.. 

Got the top of the car disconnected..and the front. 

Started prep on the bottom and pulled the wheels.. may not get in the garage tonight..

Ordered a new water pump assembly ..hopefully will fix the leak.

..I think I will regislster for MOTM..and i will need to book lodging..

I figure a good way to road test Betty.

Probably alone.. 

But i figure it will be what I need.

..

The thought is just the weekend.. go and come back..leave Friday after work.. get a jump.. and.be back my Monday .. 

...

R

day 1

Its hot.

I cleaned and reorganized the garage..enough to work.. examined the transmission.. the torque converter is not empty..but I realize it should be emptied..and refilled with new fluid.(Smelled burnt)..

I will plan how to connect them together.

I figured out the air conditioner..I have decided to make it permanent..it does heat too..but for now the temp setup will work.

..

So.. need to get the fluids in..and the eng and trans connected.. and settled on a stand. Then I can start dismantling the car.

..

Its supposed to be 105 deg..this weekend..

I may have to wait till next week to finish this..

..

I think I should register for MOTM.. and plan on a short weekend drive..

Then plan something for August..

..

It will all probably fall apart.. but I need to try..

..

Been sleeping poorly.  Neck still hurts. And the cat has been waking me up early.. 

..

Lets see what I can get done..

...

R

Summer 2025

Plans for the hot weekend.

Me and Betty spending some quality time.

I bought her some things and Im planning on undressing her and giving her all she needs. 

Hopefully we will spend the weekend together with little or no issues.

I hope this is the beginning of and extended relationship. 

The initial things I got will make her happy, and the extra items will benefit us both..hopefully for a long time. 

We have spent a lot of time together and I hope this weekend will give us a lot more..

If all goes as planned.. I have been planning this for months.. I will ask her to go with me on my next road trip.. a short one.. if that goes well.. maybe a longer one in a month or two. 

We can have a lot of fun together.. and that is my plan.

...

Wish me luck!!

..........

Work has been ok.. minor issues and lots of catch-up work.. getting the tasks done.. ordering parts needed and cleaning up..

..

L is ok.. has a few appointments scheduled and hopefully reaches out when needed. 

I need to spend some time chatting if allowed.. 

Got to help if I can and make sure they know I am always available for them.

R

the day before Friday..

Yeah Thursday..

A fend for yourself day..

I have been going local..after work..

Just me..

Food drinks and desert..usually.

Most nights no real issue..

Tonight..strong drinks..first one quick..

Finished the beef natchos, ordered a ice cream browine..gonna need deep sleep..when I get home..

That was the plan going in

..

I am trying to reflect on unanswered issues..but I feel im a bit past the clarity..needed..

Maybe next time.. 

Its ok

Epiphinays have been few..

I guess..I dont.need guidance..just patience..

..

My dessert is coming..I will eat then go.home and sleep..alone..as always.

..

L had an issue yeasterday..whent to the Dr. And had a panic attack, had to go to the hospital..for eval.

Scary..but ok for now

...

R

car parts..

Ok.. everything is in.. 

I need to buy rubber gloves..and maybe a 17mm hex socket..

My plan in my mind..is get up early on Saturday. And do the shopping..get the oil filter ..then figure out the garage..sort the tools and bench..get the AC plumbed and working.. and hopefully.. start the disassembly.

Well actually start with assembly of the new motor and transmission..add fluids..free up a dolly..for the old engine..

Once I get the engine and transmission together..filled with fluids....ready..I will start the disassembly..

...

I have been trying to finish the pile of radios..just to get to a point..were the car work wont interfere..too much...

..

The stoner guy bought another..and wants me to tune it.. but I can use it as a map to trace through the other one.. I will make notes on the schematics!

R

today

I am ..

Not much more..

I have not considered anyone..

..

I have good friends..

But they are stand-off..ish.. 

Maybe August will bring a close friend back to me..but as always.. time has passed..and contact has been limited..so..maybe.. 

..

I have had little since..and the past is the past..

Im older and no wiser..

I pine for the almost, not the one I was accused of..funny that..I realized that it was not an end but not a beginning.. too much time.. 

We fit...but just not in this decade..

Too bad for me..it was a dream of mine..a younger me..too bad it took 40 years to even get this close..now I wonder if I managed to mess that up too..

I probably did..

.

So..im here..older..and ..here..just here.

..

Am I being punished?

Or am I just me.. and deserve no more.

..

I know I want more. 

I try to be worthy of more..

But..im running out of road.. 

Did I miss a turn?

..

I wish someone would tell me when I miss the opportunity..

I guess its on me to figure it out..and proof is..I cant figure out anything..

..

Im just me.

Here I am

R

am I close??

I am hoping to be nearly ready by Friday.. bought the ATF and bolts and more bolts. 

This better work.

 ...

Doing it by myself..hope I dont run into any snags..

Going to do the front end too..struts, springs..bushings.. 

Just clocked 276000 today..still driving her.

..

Got a few radios to get caught up on..still have the 2 for greg..and 2 left for Ruben..and 2 for E..

I have the shipment damages pair .i guess are mine now..

Just more work..

..

Im ok.. always busy..

..

Saw Adam tonight when we went to dinner.. I was with L and J ans we sat.and ordered and ate..I didnt get to chat..he was at the Bar with a friend.  ..

I should reach out..

..

My neck hurts from the last  few weeks work and terrible sleep..

I need that to subside.  

..

Thats it.. 

I have no immediate plans..

Just get the car done..

Then plan a roadtest..

..

Not much else..

..

C's post. 

"My relationship status has improved ..from single to alone"....

R

busy work week

Been pulling cables all week. Mark and the other Brian too.

We finished..pulled everything that has been splayed out on the floor for the past 3 years. Thousands of feet of wire. 

A 55 gallon trash can and a large laundry bin full of old wire.

Very saytisfied. 

Yes, there is plenty more to pull.. but this task is done.

I also figured out the closed caption issue and got that back up..

So, fairly good end of this week.

..

I need to find transmission fluid for the new transmission and waiting for the rest of the parts to arrive. Then I can start.. hopefully it will go well and not take too long..

..

I suggested to Jim, since his daughter wants to ride in a Mini..that he borrow my car and take her for a  ride.. he mentioned it.  .. she is estatic! I hope to do this before the engine swap.. but may have to be after.

.. 

I hope to get it started before the end of the month.

..

After that. I will need to plan a road test..

...

Looks like im going to Colorado..

Gonna miss MOTM. So have to do something for me...

If not.. I will plan for a short trip in August.. maybe A will come.

..

I will see..

R

a quick note..

Or not.. 

Time to go back to the radios..

Just Finishing up .. but  I had a few thoughts earlier.. I may remember..

..

I was looking for a reason to get out of the house..it was a nice day out..

And I had been working at the bench most of the day..

Fed the cat, did the dishes..and went for a drive.. no destination.. 

Went up the street,down the bypass, back to the backwoods way to head of the bay, through downtown and back down to the beach..

Sat there for a while.. watching the waves.. 

..

I had a thought.. 

It was about last year.. and unfortunately it escapes me now..

Not regret, more disapointment.. 

Should have been better..but was way less than I thought.

.. should have kept it just friends..I tried too hard and blew it..

As always...

...there was more..but it is gone..

..

R

kicks

Not the fun ones..

Kicks in the butt..kicks when your down..kicks to the curb.

Etc..

..

This past year was full of kicks..

Even the scheduled fun.. my cross country trip.. was a series of kicks..

..

Im still here..and so are the people close to me.

You have to be thankful for what you get..

..

Yea, I can bitch as much as anyone..

I have endured a bit..some self induced, most out of my control..

..

So, I should not complain about.any of that..

..

I was never a desired result.. mostly an afterthought..if a thought at all..

I even pressed it..and got kicked in the end.. my own fault..should have left it alone..and just stayed friends..

..

Just par..for that course.. galloped away and left me sitting in the stirrups.. .

..

I had close friends..and once i announced a decision.. crickets..

I did not mean to burn a bridge..

Now I am here..on this island..alone..with no way off..

I guess I need to start swimming.

...

I can barely help my self..and am useless to my friends.. 

House issues, car issues.. work hours.. I have nothing left for me.

..

I still have to work and pay bills.. fix whats broke..and get up every day and keep doing it tomorrow.

... 

And now..its time to work on my primary car.. swap motor and transmissions..rebuild the front end..and clean the catalytic converter.. 

..

I will do what I must.. 

I always have.. 

..

..

.

I made a will..I need to get two friends and get it notarized.. 

L wont have to worry about all the legal crap with taking over or being able to sell off what they wont need.

..

I have no one else to leave anything to..

..

Just dont kick me in

.

R

gathering parts

The engine and transmission have arrived. I just ordered bolts and nuts.. I have oil and coolant. I need transmission fluid and an oil filter. I think that is it.. I will fill the transmission and engine, replace the oil filter housing after I pull the original engine.  I will bolt the engine and transmisson together. I need to get a box of gloves.. and some rags. 

..

I need to find the torx socket for the axles.. 

I think I have the rest of the tools I need.

I will be trying to clean the catalytic converter.. the code keeps coming and going.. was gone for a few weeks after the oil change and restore additive.. then I washed the car and it came back.  A week later its gone again.. 

I will also replace the clamp with the new one I bought.

Im gonna do the struts and the control arm bushings.. I have those already. 

... 

..

.

I had a cute text conversation with Cathy.. slightly flirtatious.. and well received...

Might be worth a visit.

..

Of course it all looks good in texts..

Face to face may be a different experience..

..

Been pulling cables this week.. 

Too much fun.. 

. 

R

R

fast,

It is June already, the last few months have screamed by,i have no plans,nothing scheduled,  yet im hurtling toward something..I need a vacation..some.  Time away..

Im doing an engine swap, hopefully that fixes what needs to be done

..maybw a road trip is what I need..

Hmm..

pause

I figure I need a brain dump..

Im alone.

My live in daughter and roomate.. are busy with their lives.. they include me on dinner night..saturdays..but mostly just touch base in passing..

Im by myself the rest of the time.

I work.  And do house and car stuff. Yard work..but not much else.. this month was over as soon as it began.

Nothing notable for me..just car stuff..

No one wants my attention or presence.. i should have just bought. A new car..yet..im replacing the motor.. it only matters to me. I am happy to keep Betty to keep on

.but.. it ends up being just a learning event.. and a way to keep it going.

No one cares but me.. its my ride.

Ive spent the money..i will do the swap..if I get another 200k miles.. id be happy.

..

But..no one to share that with..no one cares..just me...

.......

Ive had vivd dreams..lately..im not sure if its a reason to contact..or just cause im thinking about the failure..my failure.. I do not have anything to replace those thoughts..so I dwell on that. .. what could have been..

I need a new distraction..

Any..preferably..a hot chick..not a car or motor issue...

..

I guess Karma wont help me

..

Maybe next month someone will be available to help me feel human..

...

Im glad May went by quick..

.. 

R

engine out

Saturday.. got up reasonably early.  Did groceries.. Home depot for water filter salt , 80lbs.., unloaded.. then to Harbor freight for dollys.. back to pet smart for cat food.. home.. built cradles for the dollys, figured out how to unload the engine and trans.. trans first.  Slid it to the tailgate.. lifted it out to the dolly with the engine hoist (cherry picker) ..then slide the pallet to the tailgate.. strap up the engine and lift it off and get it on the dolly..strap it down.. done! 

I got oil and antifreeze.. need transmission fluid.. 

So maybe next weekend.. start this project.. I have the struts and the bushings.. I will do those too.

..

I read that the Denver Mini club has a mountain ride in July.. that I will look into..

..

So.. lets see what tommorow brings..

R

friday.. engine loaded

So , I went in early, after putting air in all 4 of the borrowed truck tires. Uneventful drive in. Got set up  with a chain hoist on the girders in the garage.. wrapped the pallet with the engine and transmission with large ratchet straps, hoisted it up, and with someone to guide me, backed the truck under it .. all good. Then loaded the cherry picker back in the truck. All set for the drive home.

Getting it out.. will be fun..

..

I probabaly wont start this weekend.. maybe next..hopefully it will only take a weekend. 

..

Maybe I will go to Mikes party this weekend.

If he sends the directions...

...

Not much going on.

Planning on getting Betty back up and running, then maybe plan a road trip.. break in the new engine.

...

 R

car parts

My engine and shocks and bushings have arrived.

I need to get the engine in the truck i borrowed. Get it home and out of the. Truck. Then take the car apart..and pull the old..and replace the newer.. install the newer.and make it all work,

R

lots to think about

I have been trying to focus on plans.

What to do next, and after that.

Not an easy thing..

Certain things take presidence ..

Transportation, home and work. Money...bills.. I spent much too much time looking for relationship happiness.. and failed..time and time..

So not on the list right now. 

I can hope people will remain friendly and come and go with out any grief.

I can love the one one with.. if they are with me too..

One can always hope for more long term but at this stage..im not gonna press it.

..

I have had closer friends that were happy to have me around..although I always got too attached.. and scared them away..

As has been done to me.. a few times... 

Now, I feel Im just that one.. who didnt get what his limit was supposed to be..I just always failed.

Or was wrong. ..either about how the relationship was...or was supposed to be..too much or to little or not at all, more than close or closer friends..and of course didnt see the sign or take the hint that I was in the wrong place.

..

You would think.. that after getting to know someone on a deep personal level.. you would be close enough to be able to honesty approach someone you cared for..and correct their misunderstanding.. if they cared for you as well ..so you could continue to care for eachother..

I have seen worse relationships between two who should not be together.. last and last....because someone never gives up.. or someone forgives.. and trys..

..

..

.

So summer starts this weekend 

.. the only plan I have is engine work.

The rest is to be determined.

..

Someone come . .give me a reason to do more than work..

..

Too much to ask for I know.

.

R

end of this week

It seemed longer and rushed.. but I made it to the end of this week.

No plans decided for vacation.. I am thinking if I can get the engine replaced with little issues, and travel worthy. ..I should take a week in the middle of July.. 2days out and 2 days back.. a friday late start or early Sat.   Then Monday thru Sat and Sun Monday return..its doable.. 

See who I can see...

...

I have written a short legal will.. and just need it notorized with 2 witnesses.. then make copies and put it in the safe.

..

I need to get the tiller and do the back yard.. maybe try the lawn clover..if not over seed with good grass and see if it will become a lawn.

..

Cars, house, work..radios.. thats all I am doing lately.. 

..

Maybe I should plan a trip overseas..

Go for the whole deal..

Be better to do with a companion...

Just putting that out there..

.. 

Funny.. not wanting to jinx it.. the car engine light has gone out.. been 2 days... 

She knows I am getting stuff to fix her and keep her around..

...

So Summer is coming..and I have things to do.. and work is work..

Keep on..

R

time rolling on..

I bought the motor from Dallas

. The also had a transmission, and can ship together. With tax..nearly the same as the accident settlement..I put it on the card that just lowered the interest rate to 9.9%..I will pay it off..without interest...and get the rewards, and the positive hit on my credit score..and will have a busy weekend once it all arrives..I should do the bushings and maybe the struts..make her shine and road ready! 

Then all I need to do is plan a road trip to break her in.

..

I missed the mini window.  So its just me on a cross country thing.. unless i take a quick weekend to do MOTM..a Thuts, Fri, Sat, Sun..if I can get the Thurs, Fri coverage.. I could..maybe..

I should ask..

..

Radios are still rolling in.. I have the redo..and the vintage one..im making small fwd strides on that..and a chip install that just arrived.. one to pick up in FR.. maybe 3..

I have saved the radio$ for a vacation..I may get to use it for that..

..

I may just take vacation to work on Betty..and save the rest for a MTTS 2026..

R

Monday

A good busy weekend.

I got stuff done.

I may have found an engine for Betty..I need.to look for a Transmission.. 

Then take the time to replace it all

. Looks like I missed my slot for Mini trips.. so maybe july.. either before or after the engine..

.. I did not plan for a location or a reason for the trip..so if nothing happens.. its on me.

Nothing was planned.. questions. But no decisions.

My fault..wish I could lock something..someone in..

But.. here I am as always.. and the option..is to forget.it and just work..

..

Boring and no reset.. which I know I need. 

..

The house is still dirty..and ive been mowing..but it needs work.. house and yard. Just me.. no ambition for that...

..

A will be here in August.. I hope she will be able to spend time with us..

I miss her.

..

She is really good for me.. she makes me feel like me.. odd way to.put it..but true.

...

I hope she can spend time with us..me..

..

Oh well..

I will survive..either way.

R

decisions

I was contacted by a former interest..

She tried to msg me..and it would not go through..so she called..I was at work, but chatted briefly. She asked..on a round about way if i was still interested.. 

I know i screwed that up by accepting another instead of her..

The one I accepted..lost interest..or more likely..I messed.that up..

And since I chose the other over her.. I felt it was not proper to go back to try my second choice..they did ask if I had a GF..I said no not since last year.. she asked if it was M..I said no someone else..

She asked if I was looking.. I said ..honestly after the last one..im not.

I dont need that level of disappointment.. it was a lot of effort wasted to be friend zoned

 then Ignored....

What ever she expected or wanted..she never explained to me..I felt I tried..I know I failed..

Just another to add to the list of those that I failed..and still dont know how or why..

..

Mutual interest only lasts as long till one gives up.

With out explanation or.at.least.a notice of where you fail. Nothing ever changes..and I have nothing to learn.

So I will repeat... 

I can still learn..I would love to learn what I need to fix..but..no one has ever even suggested..

..

So I am here.

Just me...

Probably for the rest of my time..

..

So..I ask myself..what to do next?

I can work another 8 or 9 years..retire and cash out.. disappear..and by then no one will notice or care.

Maybe set up a radio or repair shop near an interstate or leave the country..and evaporate.

L will be 30..next year.. and im done..

I have done what I can.. and even started the will.. 

I have not had anything that can be called 'MyLife' for so long..yet time just keeps going forward.. Im older and feel the same...

Yet..alone..my family has disconnected..and friends have dwindled..the rest is work and hobby radio..

..

I need a vacation..

I need a lover..

I guess i will plan a vacation...

R

.

last one here

Ok..its thursday.. im the last one sitting here.. im fed and desserted..and hace had enough to drink.. 

Im not unhappy..just sitting here..finishing my last drink before I go home..to my empty bed..

.. but no different than any other night.. but..i have to get back home..to be sad about my empty bed...

But its be my life for far too long..

I do not see that ever changing..

It is what it has become..

Yet, every day..I get up and do what I must..and have no reward in site or planned..  

..I have and can do that..by myself.

...just me..

R

first full weekend in a month..

It is also going to be generally nice out.

I have thought about trying to cut the bedroom doors..and install vents..bought the vents to try..

Need the right tool to cut the doors.. 

And keep it nice..

I have a skill saw .. just no skill..

I was gonna borrow the jigsaw from work.. but forgot. I should buy a tool..that does what i need..or a hand saw..and fight with it..

Maybe I can find a disk for the angle grinder..and cut the soft pine door...and trim it with a hand saw.

..

So.. im still alone..but not desperate..

So I can be picky.. 

I need to put in for this years time off. MOTM is Aug 1&2 ..

And usually SOCom uses the same date for the climb on PikesPeak..

So, I should put in for a week at that time..and decide which to do..

michgan..will be by my self..unless I can find a passenger.. or I could go to the Springs..and visit C or K.. and book a room. Do the climb and hang out. Maybe visit with Anita..if I can find her. Or just go solo and visit work and hang with the 'geeks' that are still around....

....

Either that.. go down south and hang with Dave..

Or just go to Europe!

..

A will be here in July..not sure if Im on the agenda.. no real contact..just ocassional.. but I would more than welcome her to come stay..and hang out.. I miss her...and our closeness..

..

Mostly pipe dreams..no real options..

..

I need to make a decision and commit.. 

Do the engine work on Betty or.prep Revington and give him a run..

..

It has never been all happy and smiles for me..just not seeing any sunshine in my future..and im only getting older..

Im trying to visualize..retirement..just have no clue if or how im gonna do it.

...

L is doing her version of adulting..but will never support the life she has lived with my help. She really has no clue.. mostly my fault..I have not showed her what our life requires for the day to day..

And with J.. and all the support and money needed to live.. its impossible on her salary.

 ..

When I retire..we will need to downsize..and restructure..or they will need to go off on their own..and.me another way..

...

Yet.. im still just me..

For better or not..

R

feeling busy..

Wow, April and May have been busy.

I feel like I cannot catch up.

Work has been crazy busy, but we are getting stuff done..just seems to be a whole lot more to do.

..

Ive had an eye infection for the past month.  It gets better then goes bad again.. today the eyelid is infected.

I will take out my contacts tonight and see if I can get my eyes some rest.. 

..

More..

.

I went out for dinner thursday..as usual.. had a text conversation about my status..and current mindset..i was several drinks in.. and was not holding back.. it is how I feel and why.

Im not sure if it is anything I can change..it just is.. I have given up on finding a forever mate..and not really looking for anything else..

I hate being alone..but I like myself enough to keep on..I still have things to do and a way to get them done.

I have work and home and family...

And cars and radios.. so I can keep busy and occupied.

..my friends are radio people and clients, bartenders and people I know from my past and work. Thats about it..

My brothers are not communicative, much. But I am not closed to any conversations.

No one has ever visited my home.

Except, A,J,N,J, and my realtor.

A has stayed the night.. no one else.

I have lived in this house since 2018..

I have never been a destination.. and still not.

...

R

hey! April is almost over..

So busy! 

Work, repairs and home.. i have had a bunch of radios to work on..and some personal stuff ..home and car etc..

Work has been crazy! Too many in progress projects.. .none done..all pending..and the usual ... Need to fix this..now stuff..

My raise is in. Funny its less than the over pay..but still close..

So i'm not worried..

Still the asst mgr.may apply for the DOE position..leaving his desk vacant. 

Maybe rehire the onw that left..

We will see. 

R

update

Quickly.. Betty used 1qt after 1000 miles.. im disappointed.

I do not see any leaks..it may just be burining it.. but not the oil filter housing.. 

I checked it every time I stopped.

No usage up to the last.. at 1024 miles..nearly a month.

Other than that..

Working on radios and power systems at work.

.

Not much else.

R

schedules

Had to reschedule the power switch over. Not ready.. still working on it .

Actually going in Sunday evening to work with Brian. We will try to knock out the main control room. 

.. it appears the delay issue is fixed.

No new occurances since the last fix I did.

We had a new roof AC unit install on Friday.  They got it half done.. and will be back on Tuesday...

...

I was able to replace the oil filter housing and change the oil last weekend.. I broke a bolt.. during the install. I must hace cross threaded it. And it snapped. It is not in a place where I can drill it out ..I know I would have to pull the motor or at the least the entire front end.. so I made sure the other 5 were tight. 

I have been checking it everytime I stop..500+ miles so far.. no oil usage..no leaks. 

Fingers crossed.

..

Ive been working through the radio pile. Started another today.. had to order a part.. so I will get to a stopping point and set it aside.. finish one of the other two.. and keep moving. Got another in the mail this morning..

...

I guess I have been busy.. too think about much else.

..well I have been thinking. .. just not worrying too much about it..

I need to decide this summers road trip.  Go local or cross country..

I could go to Europe... That would be fun..by myself......

..

So Revington is ok.. not unusable.. not perfect.. no more leaks.. but may be using oil.. it needs an oil change..

So dont Pearl..I think..

...

I will have to figure it out..

.

R

issues

The delay issue came back.. so traced it down more.. found another iffy connector, replaced it.. found a possibility of more issues.. may need to direct connect the cables on that panel..one at a time...

..

Found an issue with something I restarted ..lost configuration to the monitor port.. 

.. 

More...

R

not ready

I was asked by the GM.. if we are ready for the power switch..I had to say no..maybe 80%, still lots to do..

Should we postpone..yes..how long.. I defer to Brian..he is the project manager and coming.back Sunday.. 

So, I have been reviewing the power in the rack rows.. and connecting what I can to the new power strips..

I have ordered parts to make consolidated power supply for the TV cable rack. May need 2..

Keep moving forward..

R

middle of the week

More delay isues..and a media problem.. got called at 7am..I could not fall asleep till about 4..hoping to sleep till 10..guess not.. 

Then I went in early..clocked in at 1:30p..gonna be a long night..

..

I had a meeting with the GM, he verified that he approved my raise.  As Mike had said plus some.. 

Precentages.. not so much, but money wise.. not too bad.

More than last year...he did mention that they finally got the payroll to move us to 40 hours..instead of 8hour ot.. so the extra will be gone..probably about the time my raise kicks in.. 

. 

Oh well..

I think I should plan on Pikes Peak..and.just go..

..

I got a letter from the insurance, stating the accident is being looked at as 50% my fault..meaning points..surchage and insurance increase.. 

An opportunity to rebut.. make my case.. ..not sure if ita worth the time and hassel.. 

..

R

turmoil

Well, maybe just disgruntled co-workers..

We had delay issues again earlier, the patch I left in didnt help.. Mark moved the patch cable to the in and out, bypassing the router.. 

So, I started making a replacement cable for the router in.. took the old

 one off.. and the operators told me a feed went off.. I checked around where I was working.. I was gonna jump out the patch..and they said it was back.. I didnt touch anything..

But Im starting to think its the router connections.. so went back to re-doing a cable end.. and stopped to explain to James, and the news started.. the operator came in and said now the CC was not working.. it just stopped working 10 min ago..

So I checked through the panel.. and realized the patch Mark put in was bypassing the router, so it was not able to send to the output for CC..

I pulled his patch and checked the delay, and it was good and CC was back.

I monitored it for 30min.

Also had eng requests, for stuff I can do nothing about. 

I asked the Dir to reboot after the show, and it was better..

..

I ordered more LED lights and did my expense report. 

..

I just need to make it to Friday..

..

Ive been getting through the repair pile.. almost done with the onw on the bench..got one in the box..I dont even know what it needs. I guess I will find out..

..

Then, I need to start on the car repairs.. Betty needs some love..

..

R

ready to start another

End of the first 6 day week..

Can we say busy..

I was able to get some of the power moved.. and some lights replaced.

I only got one connector replaced.. 

The rest was crisis management and troubleshooting..

Some projects got done..but still plenty to do. 

I found a possible cause for the dirty patch panels..

The roof work that was done, caused a lot of debris to fall on the ceiling tiles.  It is now blowing around and coming down on top of the racks...and getting into the systems..

I need to start cleaning that out..tile by tile....and just realized.. I should ask the AC guys to clean or replace the filters...

..

We need more people.

..

..

.

Nothing happening. Just work sleep radios and work.. 

I found out that a friend will be local in July.. so.. may need to rethink vacation time..even MOTM or PPMOT. 

..

I have not had a conversation..

So..if no warning contact..maybe no something I should plan for..see where it falls..

Knowing my luck.. I will be alone..by myself.. traveling alone to be alone..with me.

Play a game of miniture golf...

..

My Sim seems so much easier..

.

R

solution

The router issue was a simple connection issue.

The trick was to figure out the hand written notes and follow the chain..

Mike called and asked what was up, and helped me work through the chain. Thanks Mike I learned something new.

..

The next day.. back to archive and restore issues..before calling support, I checked the device.. it was not responding to the requests to read the files.. so, I found the reboot menu.. and paused the requests.. let it cycle through its reboot process, and restarted the requests.. working! 

...

Then I pulled down the stuck window shades in the main room. Better all down than some stuck up causing glare at bad moments.. I also unplugged several more of the controllers.. so they will stop trying to move.. of course I heard a complaint that one I pulled down was wrinkled and was spoiling a shot...

It never ends.

..

Tonight I got a call from Comcast..

The feed we send to them had digital errors.. could have been because I rebooted the fiber connection.. but they switched off our digital fiber and went to Off Air.. and asked me to see If I can correct the digital errors..

After I traced through the monitor cabling.. I cleaned the patch connection and asked them to verify its good. 

A busy night so far...

R