lots to think about

I have been trying to focus on plans.

What to do next, and after that.

Not an easy thing..

Certain things take presidence ..

Transportation, home and work. Money...bills.. I spent much too much time looking for relationship happiness.. and failed..time and time..

So not on the list right now. 

I can hope people will remain friendly and come and go with out any grief.

I can love the one one with.. if they are with me too..

One can always hope for more long term but at this stage..im not gonna press it.

..

I have had closer friends that were happy to have me around..although I always got too attached.. and scared them away..

As has been done to me.. a few times... 

Now, I feel Im just that one.. who didnt get what his limit was supposed to be..I just always failed.

Or was wrong. ..either about how the relationship was...or was supposed to be..too much or to little or not at all, more than close or closer friends..and of course didnt see the sign or take the hint that I was in the wrong place.

..

You would think.. that after getting to know someone on a deep personal level.. you would be close enough to be able to honesty approach someone you cared for..and correct their misunderstanding.. if they cared for you as well ..so you could continue to care for eachother..

I have seen worse relationships between two who should not be together.. last and last....because someone never gives up.. or someone forgives.. and trys..

..

..

.

So summer starts this weekend 

.. the only plan I have is engine work.

The rest is to be determined.

..

Someone come . .give me a reason to do more than work..

..

Too much to ask for I know.

.

R