counting...

The 28th.. a few days left.. 

L slept in tonight. I cooked meatloaf and went for a brownie sundae .

I found an old draft text.  Looks like maybe October.. so nothing new.. really not worth posting. 

..

Not much coming forth.  I may just have to not do an end if the year post. 

..

As I said in the last post, I got the refund.  Today I transferred the money to L and some to my savings.. so I dont spend it all. 

It doubled the $ L had!  The bank accounts are looking pretty good..

I also have the car insurance payout.

I need to buy the doors in Conneticut.. and schedule to go pick them up... Then start taking Revington apart..to see what else needs to be done.

..

Ive been working on the pile of radios.. and I guess I am done..

One I cannot do.  The other..I adjusted it.. and it seems to be working.. or else I will need to buy 2 relays and take the thing apart and replace them. But he dont want to pay for that..

..

The other radio is done. 

And so is the local one..

..

I got an order for 2 chips for Germany. I will box them up and ship them on Monday..

I need to check on a delayed shipment to Texas..I will double ship that If it dont arrive Monday.

..

I am working New Years Eve. Till 7pm.. so not bad.  

I need to look into going somewhere next year.  With the extra money, why not..

I need to decide.  Snow skiing or sun bathing...

..

I just need to try not to deplete all my time or money .

...

The manager will be gone mid-month..and we have the new tech transferring from the other dept. I have a project coming up. . And how get it done, may be up for decisions..

I need to inquire.. 

The small projects we have are whittling down.. got most done. So new year, new boss probably new tasks.. Im sure we will be busy.

..

I have little left.  

..

R

end of the year is near

Here we come.

I am working the rest of the year, as far as I know.

I have unexpectedly got the refund for the parent loan.. the check arrived the day before Christmas. $38,000!

I was surprized. 

After thinking about it. I could not take it all. L had contributed the past few years..so I figured precentage of the totals and figured I would divide the check buy the precentage of the total we paid. 

It turns out that, with no interest, and the aggressive repayment plan we were doing.. L paid 54% of the loans..so I thought it was fair.. that we divide the refund by the precentages..its not all we paid in..but close..its fair. 

It is still more than we expected to get back. The gov. Deleted the  remaining $16k and refunded what was paid on the parent loan.  So we got all paid in but the $16k I paid  on the student loan. 

Im happy, and L has nearly all they paid in the past 4 years....

Win win! 

She still has more money in the bank than I.. 

Kids! 

..

The last paycheck of the year is in..

More..

R

shortest day, longest night..

Winter has come.

Cold and slightly snowy..more coming.. 

Working tomorrow night.. 

Supposed to be quiet.. we will see. 

In working on the equipment restore and maybe a bench power supply.

Nothing else pressing.. I could do some lighting installs.. but need help and a few more items to make the install smooth.

I could look for some ceiling panels and finish removing the disconnected lights in the shop

Busy work..

Just stuff that needs to get done.

..

We have been asked to not do anything that could cause a problem..since coverage is thin.

..

I have not found anything closer than Conneticut for the car doors.

So far... Still looking.

...

I have a few radios to work on, 2 done..a third may not be possible to correct.. the 4th is a possible adjustment or a need for a pair of relays.. that may be to much work to pull the board and remove and update with new ones. He dont want to spend too much.

..

Nothing happening anywhere else..had a few interesting thoughts looking through past pictures and texts.  Oh the things I could have changed if I was paying closer attention.

I still wonder why some things end..its usually because I didnt see the signs during..till its too late. ..or never at all.. 

It just leaves me wondering..

Second guessing.. 

Not many have given me the courtesy of explaining the why or the why not.. very few were obvious.. not needing any explanation.. very few.

So here I am.. older and not any wiser..I wish I was still in my 20s..back when I knew every thing..or at least knew all I needed to know. I had a lit figured out.. in my terms with my knowledge.. limited but enough to cover what I wanted to know..or needed to know to be happy. 

I feel I was curious enough to keep questioning what I did not understand, until I found the truth. Then acted apon that understanding..but it was enough. 

Now..I dont think I ever knew or will ever know..

Im not upset with this . . just wish there were answers that I could find when I look.. things that I should know to my satisfaction..

...

Probably too much to ask.  

...

Time is a river.  

If you stand still, it still rushes by.. leaving you behind.. if you ride it.  It still moves forward and you with it.. but you never get to where you are going before it does..you just travel with it.. 

...

R

snow

Well it is finally snowing.  Of course Im at work. And have an hour drive home.. 3-5inches exoected at work, 1-3 at home.. I have shoveled and salted the work walkways. 

We had food at work..so mt dinner is desert.. 

Im fixing old equipment.. i just found a bad fan ..replaced it..and cut my finger.. the fan is the wrong voltage..and the power supply is bad as well.. I took it apart and found bad capacitors.. lets see if that helps get it running. 

..

Not sure if it is gonna be a late night or a abandon ship at 11:30.. I dont think anyone wants to stay late..weather and all..

...

Im working for Brian on Sunday..so Saturday off, work and then Monday off.  Should be a short but interesting weekend. 

..

No luck finding close car parts.. the Conneticut junk yard may be the best option. I have put away cash.. I could do it before the check comes.. but not this week... 

...

The Holliday is fast approaching.. and the end of the year is next. 

No plans. I know I am working..but I dont have anywhere else to be..

..

L told me they had unused PTO..that they will be paid for part of.. and mentioned that they need to keep better tabs on it and make plans next year to use it..

Me as well..

..

Not much else.. time to go back to work..

...

Im missing something.. there is a thing..I just cant find it.. 

..

Hmmmm

..

R

mid month

Nearly there..

I just volunteered to work Sunday evening for Brian. 

Why not?. 

The money at the end of the year can never hurt.

..

Mike is out till Jan, Dave is out till Jan.. just Brian and James and I..the new guy dont start till Jan 6.. fortunately its usually quiet at the end of the year.

..

The door I ordered,last week..I had to cancel.. it got damaged..

So, I am still looking.. I found a junkyard in Conneticut with both doors, but outrageous shipping..

Its 3 hour drive.. I may do it.. then its only $400 for both..but not sure if they are complete..

.. I will keep looking.. no check yet.

..

I finished 3 radios this week ,and picked up 4 more.. 

So, I got some stuff to do.

I ordered heater fins and returned them ..and ordered the correct ones..

Just have to install them.

..

We have the new year around the corner.. let see whats next..

R

maybe something

I rely on my foggy mind to release the crap stuck in there..to maybe come forth..

Im trying..

I know..there is something way back. In there.. I have just not let me see it..listen .. Ive buried it..for my own preservation.. but I know its there..

Just not been reachable..or apparent to my sober mind.. I wont allow it..

Yeah, I know Im alone..and lonely. I have no solutions..just more questions and frustrations..

But ..I feel there is something..I just dont see it.. 

I have made sure I am busy and occupied to the point of exhaustion..

Just so I can get my 4 or 5 hours of sleep..so I can keep functioning...

Still able to reason and think straight..

But..I feel that something missing needs my attention..a clue..an answer..one I dont see..one I need..

Yet..here I am..kinda lost..but making my self functional..and keep on .. for me and those that rely on me . 

I will .. keep doing what I feel I must.. time has pushed me into this mindset.. but I have no answers..no questions I can ask..to get the answer I need..

This is a place I reside..but never by choice..a place I never want to be..

I hate not knowing what to do..

I wish control. At least over my own state..

..

More in a bit..

R

time..tick ..tick

So, they transferred the guy from the other dept..starting next month. Cool! Hopefully it works..and we can get him up to speed and keep us on track.

I asked for the day after christmas off..as a floating holiday.. so I will only lose one paid day off..and it only pays as 8 hours..but L has that day off so maybe we can all do something.

..

Also I confirmed I will get paid for the unused PTO.. thats good..maybe i can carry it over. And plan a trip in Feb?? 

..

I have to start workibg on the car.. maybe start looking for repair parts..

..

Its cold tonight. I worked on tree lights.. with out success.. so I got cold.. and have not warmed up yet..

But, dinner is ordered and after I eat, I will go look at replacing a Can light with an LED.. 

I have to come in tomorrow, scheduled upgrade.. good for at least 8 hours OT.. 

..

We will see....

Had a chat with the Supv this evening.  And stated I have been approached. . But told him I have no plans to go anywhere.  

..

So.  

Its business as usual..and keep on keeping on.

..

Nothing new anywhere else.. the end of 2024 is almost here..

Lets end positive and hope for positivity going forward..

R

keyboard

I was just looking through the last few posts.. 

Yikes, sorry for all the mis-spelled words.. the screen has been dirty and my fingers dont always hit the right keys.. if I dont proof read it I miss the mistakes..

If I go back and correct them it changes the post date..

So, I wont..

...

Money is tight..the split paycheck seemed to warp my spending..

I had to dip into the cushion.. and had bills due today and yesterday..payday is tomorrow..so the current balance is low.

Maybe we can fit it all in by the next house payment.

I still need to find something for J..and have little things for L..

Just no real idea, and no free cash and no time..

..

Speaking of time.. I looked at my accruals.. I have 2 floating days.. and 38+ hours Time off..

With limited staff..it would be unfair to take the time.. but I need to uae the floaters.. 

They may allow me to carry over the PTO..

Cant afford to go anywhere ..

So..

Probably not going anywhere..

R

long week ahead

Welcome to Monday.. Brian is out, Mike is out.. Brian asked me to work his shift..so I am in at 1:30p to 11:30p and back tomorrow for 9a.

 Regular rest if the week. .. except Im working 8hrs on Saturday. Gonna be a 58 hour week..

..

So far, only 2 small issues today..but its only 8.. still have the evwning news. David asked me to fimd and order the upgrade power units for the core.. the account is onw I dont have access to..so I have called the provider.. I got an account number and our company contact..who no longer works for us.. I sent an email to Finance at Corp to see I they can get setup on our account so I can order $13k worth of parts. 

Its amazing how much time it takes to do these simple things..

Speaking of simple things.. I need to look for more hanging lights.. 

And order more bulbs..

...

I was able to replace the Ballast in Ls car and was told it seems to be fixed..and the adjuster looked at the damage to the spare car and sent a report.. so far $3600 for the damage..I need to pry open the doors and see what else I will need. It will be another project.. 

..

So no chance to get my car state inspection done..was gonna do that today.. and cant do it Saturday.. maybe next Monday?? 

..

I got the pile of radios done. I have one coming.. probably today!

Hopefully not sitting in the rain.

...

Well, we will see what the week brings. 

R

snow tonight

Supposed to have snow tonight.. 

Not much down here, and should be gone by mid morning..

Got a couple packages today.. and ordered the fins for L room.. we talked about moving stuff too ooen a path to the registers..

We went for dinner just us two. 

It was good. Went to one of the other places..got fresh fish n chips.. 

Went early..so back by 8:30p.. 

I need to spend an hour and replace a headlight ballast on Ls car.. maybe stop the blinking.. 

If not its probably a bulb..

Probably not tomorrow.. gonna be cold..I have the ballasts.. so should be easy.

...

This has been a strange couple months.  Really busy at work, lots of coverage, the accident, and house things. And a surge of radio stuff..

But I have no spare cash..and no free time.. no one around expresing much interest in my personal time.

.. 

Ive been too busy to be lonely..but have no one interested.. not even a hint. I assume everyone thinks I have someone to occupy my time when im lm not working or sleeping..

Nope.. just me..

Really nothing new..

Ive just been to busy to notice..

...

Work is a question.. 

The Manager is leaving. The Supervisor has family issues.  Its just james, brian and I.. doing the work of six.. corporate has no idea..and probably dont care.. our management paints a good picture..corp thinks we are good..im not sure...

I have a rival station eng mgr asking what it would take for me to jump ship..I didnt even ask how much he was offering.. traffic would suck..no matter what shift..

..

So.. the end of the year is fast approaching..I have no revelations. No epiphanys.. as far as I know..

Gonna roll into 2025.  And see what happens.

..

R

adjusted

An other adjuster called me this morning..8am.. said he would be able to come over in an hour. 

So I got up.. decided to cook dinner for L and J to have later.. made coffee and napped on the  couch  till he called and said he was on his way.

I backed the car out of the garage so he could take pictures. He said he would compile the estimate and email it. 

I got it.. it said I can take it anywhere I want or do it my self.. the email said he was sending a check for the estimate.. I think its fair. And if I find it needs more..he will come out and make an adjustment.

...

Work is slow.. major issues before I got there this afternoon.. and solved without any need of my help.

So, Ive been replacing bulbs.. 

I used all of the new box..and been stealing bulbs from removed fixtures..

Got to order another box...or some LED fixture replacements.

...

...

So.. nothing else happening...I ordered a set of heater fins for Ls room..maybe bring up the temperature..and I realized the heaters are blocked and need to be cleared..we should look at reorganizing..but I spent $200 on additional fins for the baseboard heaters.

...

Still not sure if I will be asked to cover shifts next week..if so..I may have to take my floating holiday...before I lose it..it dont.look like I will have money for a trip this month..or next.. 

..

I hope I can fix the car..

..

R

coverage week 2

I hope Im done.. 

This gerting up at 4:15am.. and going to bed at midnight..is getting old.

The drive home at 4pm is tough.. so sleepy.. but I made it .. the traffic is bad at 4:00 pm.. the first night was 2 1/2 hrs .. it has been better.. but not much..

I spent 2 days working on Ben's tv mounts..he told me he didnt like the positions..and wanted to discuss it..meaning he wanted me to mount them all on the wall.. I know it.wont fit..if it does..its permanent.. and would be a tough time to reconfigure..which will happen..I figured if I did what he thought he wanted, he would be asking me to reposition it..because he would not be able to see all the screens..I just had installed the mount bar.. I planned on positioning the TVs off the bar..and could easily reconfigure the mounts.. if you put them on wall mounts.. that is where they live..till you move the mounts and patch the holes in the wall and repaint..etc...

So ..I pulled down the bar.. left the supports above the ceiling..left the tiles open..pulled the house cable through an open tile.. left one of the bar mounts..and stopped.

When he came in to whine about it.. I lost it.. I told him I removed the mount.. and what he wants to do will not fit..and he wont be able to see all the screens.... If he wants them on the wall.. I bought anchors.. and feel free to do it himself.

Im done. Not gonna do it.

Because when the next manager wants his office..they will want them moved, because they are not viewable.. he has 6' of wall and 8' of tvs.. plus mounting to the wall board will require anchors..holes and hope they install properly..they wont..there is no support.. I takes too much time and never looks right..

..so..I am done till I am told to do it by the boss.. which I am sure he dont care if I do it or not..let Ben ask and bitch.. 

...

So this week has been long and no Mgrs in. And weather..

Just maintaining..and staying busy.

The Chiropractor has been helping..I think, another week of adjustments and I will be good for a few weeks..

..

The insurance adjuster was supposed to come by to look at the car..I told them I would be home by 5 or 5:30..

I waited till 9.. no show, no text.or call.. I ve been up since 4:15 am

It has been a long day..long week..

Friday is.. my late shift..so not gonna be home after 5......

..

Its almost been a month since the accident.. 

Nothing..

..

R

Sunday..forst of December

December 1, 2024..

Woke early.. 

Made coffee.. but didnt have any till 10.

Started working on the pile of radios, mics and amp.

Got all the new ones done,evwm fixed the amp! Mostly catchup..but I will trade them for cash tomorrow.

Its worth it, and done in a day. 

I have 1 I started last week, its nearly done and one local radio to do..

..

Tomorrow, lunch ans a walk.. and pizza and more radio stuff. 

..

Tuesday is another start to early days this week..I hope they dont try to make this permanent.. the afternoon traffic sucks..totally not worth it.

..

Gonna move Revington outside tomorrow..Betty needs to be in the garage..so I wont have to scrape windows in the morning. I may have to swap to the short antenna..dor convenience..

..

Here we go.. December..... 

.. 

R

..

end of the month

Made it through November.

All in all, it went by pretty quick. 

Been busy enough. This past week was tough..getting up early, afternoon traffic.. holiday traffic, just general change. 

So, one week down..one more..I hope...I worked on the tv mounts for Ben, then I swept and cleaned the garage..we ran late.. sports..so we were done at 12:16am.

I got home by 1:00am.

Showered and was in bed by 2:00am.

..

I decided to move Revington out of the garage.. and I could not find the key!..I looked in the car..I looked in my car..I looked in L's and the parts car..looked in the kitchen, even brought the recycle bags back in and looked through them.. looked on both desks.. nothing.. asked L..if maybe they picked them up..no..I checked all my coats, and my jeans in the closet.nothing.l

So I cant move it, and the key has been misplaced..

.. later, L said they found it..they accidentally picked it up..

So.. phew!! .. 

..

I had an appointment to meet with Enie to pick up some repairs..

One he wanted by Monday.. so I worked on those before we left for dinner.... Got 2 done.. one to go.. 

I have others coming and maybe a few Chip sales.. and a couple local radios to get done.. 

Good time for extra work.

...

Nothing more on the car front.

..still waiting on an estimate..

...

December is next..

Lets see how that goes..

..

R

holiday work week

I was asked to cover the vacant shift for the nex two weeks..till they get someone on board...i said yes..

That meant.. this week and next..

No time off for thanksgiving.. infact, go in at 6am and leave at 4pm.. Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday..wotk my regular 10 our shift on Friday..this week and next..

So far...I made it to Friday..Thanksgiving was good. We had a family dinner.. it was nice.

And here I am ..Friday night working till 11:30.. or so..probably a little later since we have games on.

...

Im seeing a chiropractor for my shoulder and other older issues..it seems to be working out.. mt shoukder is a bit better..

..

Not much from insurance about the car.. just a notification that they will be intouch whenI can get it appraised..it has been raining..so its been in the garage.

..

That is all for the fill in.

Nothing new..

I did have a random text ..some woman looking for her golf partner..then seemed to just want to chat.. seemed suspicious..so I gave her a fake name and location.. and said I had to go..and was going to be out of cell phone range.. 

She texted me later and sent pictures of a young oriental woman in a golf skirt.. her original photo showed a shadow of a woman in slacks on the golf course.. so I blocked her as spam..

..

Fun fun.. it never ends

..

R

November weather

Ok..starting to get cold.. now that it has stopped raining...

Thanksgiving is this week.. I have thursday off...but am working Friday..

I guess..I didnt put in for the day..I have a floating holiday to use..maybe in December..

I dont have much time.. Iay need to take a day or two before the end of the year...with the shop down another tech.. time off will be tough..

Plus my useable cash is at a low..

.. 

I have a few new radios towork on and a couple scheduled to come in..

Maybe I can get a few done to add.to the travel expenses bank..

...

Still waiting on the insurance to look at my other car.. and waiting to hear about the property..I wonder who is getting the task of dividing up the artifacts and other property ..

And I may be getting a refund from the student loans.

..may...

Oh well.. unhatched chickens all...

..

And finally..

Nothing happening in my personal life..

R

wet weekend

Rained for a couple days.. finally let up.

Got my weekend chores done.. working on the radios..nothing happening with the cars.

Work was slow and consistent..

Got the remote site decomissioned..moved the equipment and decided to rack it up near my desk.put the rack on wheels, and filled it up.

Cleaned my area a bit..then gutted a light fixture and temp fit an 8' LED ..

It may work .. it would save thousands.. more labor for me, but the result may last years.

Have to wait and see what the bosses think..

I priced regular led fixtures.. the cheap ones would be about $2000..

The regular ones 3times more...

My solution.. about $400 - $500.

...

Im gonna research used parts replacement for the accident damage.. still waiting for insurance estimates..

...

Betty is running well..alternator and ac compressor..working properly.

...

R

change..a constant

This week is flying by..

Sunday was nice..I could not think of anything to do outside..so I went to the store and drove through the forest, then home. Then radios and dinner..

Monday, I decided to get out and M needed help with the leaves and I offered to bring my leaf blower and help..so went over about 9 worked till 1 went to lunch.. then met the guys after picking up pizza..dropped a few radios and picked up more.

Went home..worked on radios.

..

Tuesday, I made a chiropractor appt..and went in Wednesday..it went well.. I did miss the eng mtg..where we were told our boss is leaving..

And Katherines last day is tomorrow..

Yippie.. a 3 person eng dept..

Im told Emrick wants to ask me again to jump ship to BZ.. no..

I will go down with this ship..

I made another chiro appt for next Wednesday.. it helped.. 

.. 

The insurance called and told me they will send an appraiser..and gave me options..maybe a few weeks.

..

Nelnet has sent me 3 letters..saying I need to verify my mailing address..because they may need to refund an over payment..

In 3 to 6 months.....

..

We will see..

R

quiet day

I tried to sleep in.. shoulder woke me at 4am.. I repositioned and went back to sleep.. the cat woke me at 7..

He ended up on my chest.. then moved and I slept till 9.

Got up cleaned the kitchen.. made coffee.. then made breakfast.. Ive been hungry the past couple days.. got a cup of coffee, added the tincture.. took a hot shower. I actually felt better.. less pain.. but still having problems raising my right arm.. its been a week since the accident.. I am thinking I should try the tincture a couple times a day.. 

I dont have any issues carrying things or stuff like that. Just sore and weak above the shoulder.

..

Got two radios to deliver, pickup a couple tomorrow..

Ruben called me..he still has the radio he wants me to look at for the last month.. I will have to try to stop by next weekend.

..I will see if I can sort it out on the spot..

I also had an email..for a tune .. sent him the info and prices..

Plus a local has 2 he needs tuned.. one before he leaves for vacation and the other during..

...

I texted a HB msg this morning

.. got a response..we chatted..then I asked a question.. and was answered an hour later..a little chit chat..then done..

At least she answered.. she was surprised I remembered..I told her I had a set a reminder..even though I had already knew.. .. 

...

Oh well. At least she knows I was thinking about her.. and at least she responded.

Probably means nothing..

...

Lets see if I can sleep tonight...

R

just chores

Today, I was up at 8.. started laundry, made the shopping list, did groceries, check book maintenance.. made the register for next year.. got mail, deposited the birthday check..vame home, put away my laundry and took a nap.. slept till 4 .. worked on the radio.. then went to dinner with L..J stayed home.  We went to a restaurant not the sub / pizza place.  A dine in. 

..

We chatted about the issues and concerns. Basically an explanation of the election Stress. 

.

The next steps for the car..I need to get a repair estimate. Then decide if Im gonna do that or let someone else..

..

No real plans for tomorrow.. may actually vacuum and straighten..

.

Nothing new going on.. still sore, still alone.. no prospects at all.

Just work and cars and bills..

..

R

tasks

Ive been working on tasks for work..completed another today.. installed the steps I ordered back in May. The new tech helped me. 

Im still sore..shoulder.. not sleeping great .. Katherine accepted the job across town, got onw week left. 

I hope she does well. 

l had a head cold this week, now J has it..L is over it, J is worse..so I made chilli for their dinner tonight, before I left for work.

..

I did the insurance app uploads, even the video, this morning.. I still have not talked with claim advisor. Now I have the report and the police pictures..

Next is a repair estimate..

Then I need to see if I can get the door open.. and assess the damage.

..

I was considering sending Nancy a birthday text..just to see if she responds or hates me... 

I miss talking and texting her.. 

I guess I should have called more..instead of just texting all the  time.. I mistakenly thought I would bother her too much. Oh well.. 

I hope she reaponds favorably.. 

.

Tomorrow is simply chores and radio stuff.. laundry..groceries..maybe, more cleaning..or just sleep in..

Maine lunch...

Random thought.its an IPA.

.. maybe this week will end better than it started..not holding my breath.

..

I have been looking at tires.. really not sure if I need them yet. I should have another 12 months...

At least another 20k miles.

Stretch that $600 just a little more..

.. inspection sticker next month..the guy said he.would be ok with the star crack in the windshield.. so no rush on that repair...

Hopefully we can get through the  next few months. I have no cushion..

$1k..Im owed $500 ..I dont think I will see any time soon..

..

Lets see how it goes..

R

cars

So, I got my regular drive car, back together, and to the shop Monday morning.. so They could recharge the Air Conditioning.. I decided since it was a holiday, I would drive up to work, drop ofd the work car, tape up my windows and drive the damaged car home.. I was home by 11am.

The car had no issues driving home..noisy but...good.

.. I got the police report on Tuesday..and a few calls from the insurance.. but still need to give them the pictures and a statement.. 

Their easy app is not for all situations..

So still have not done the 'video' they want.. maybe I will call tomorrow before work.. do the video..and aend the pictures..next will be the estimate..then maybe, I will see if I can open the door and get it removed..see if its just the door..im thinking the front of the door frame will need a push..

..

So..I am down a few more lbs.. under the lowest Ive been in 10 yrs! I guess the fasting is working.. 9 lbs in the last 2 months!!

Id be happy with 10 more..

..

So..I am still sore..but I got a chiropractor number close to work..I will need to make an appt..

..

Not sleeping well.. weird dreams..cant lay comfortable.. arm or shoulder hurts..

I hope it gets better..

..

The radio work is trickling in..and last pay period was jacked, so the finances are tight.. between bills and car repairs..the cushion is depleted..and the holidays are close..and not much spare cash..

Also I need tires and an inspection sticker next month.. 

Ahh.. welcome to my life..

R

not as planned...

Well, Friday was my birthday.. 

I was scheduled to work 1:30 to 11:30p. ..I got in.. early..12:00.. sat in the car.  Read my book, took a phone call from my brother.. good news.. the family place is being sold..

I went into work, started double checking a device survey, the supervisor asked me to help him take apart a server so he could get the serial number.. did that.. then decided to make a parts run.. drive over to the hardware store and get some electrical parts to have some thing to do later that night.. 

Got in the car.. left the parking lot.. pulled through traffic . ..to the far right lane.. and got hit broadside.. 

Car accident...

My car has a damaged passenger door, blown out windows.. all the damage appears to be the door..

So , after the police officer arrived, I aaked.if I could just drive it back into the work parking lot. He agreed, so I drove it into the work garage. He later went in and took pictures.  Gave me a report number to ask for in a few days.

That was it.

..the Supv, said I should go home ..and got a company vehicle to use.. 

I will go in Tuesday, and tape off the broken windows and drive it home.

..

I feel ok.. just a sore shoulder. I did go home.. 2hrs in traffic.. after dinner.. I went in the garage and finished putting Betty back together..just had to bleed the air from the coolant system..which I did Saturday after groceries..

I visited the mechanic.. he said to drop the car off Monday morning and he would call me when its ready.

So L is following me down in the morning and M said they take me down to pick it up..maybe we can have lunch and walk too..

..

So much for a quiet birthday..

..

Since I needed to charge the battery..I did some yard work..

Moved the leaves into the mulch pile..

Then did the coolant 'burp' procedure..

Left the battery on charge..

We went to the Brazillian Grille Buffet  for my Birthday dinner.. 

.. L is fighting a cold.. so wasnt feeling 100%, but it was good.

..

Life always seems to keep me busy.

Its November..the time between July and now has flown by..

Ive filled most of my empty time with tasks, work , and car repairs..

Yeah, Im still alone..still somewhat lonely..my bed is empty every night, except for the cat.. my dreams have been confusing and strange.. something is missing. As always..

As has been for too many years..

Im not young anymore.. no kidding myself.. I have somethings to show for this life..so far.. but in my mind.. im missing something.. obviously..

...

Ive given up .. looking for now..

Maybe some redhead will push herself on me...probably only a once in a lifetime opportunity...

..

R

thurs...

It has been a long week.. coming up..the next year.. an hour away.. 

61... 

Im sore..work and car work...just old..

I put off working on the car tonight..had to order something for all to eat.. then went back for a couple.. hopefully I can get it back together Sunday...

L wanted to go for Brazillian buffet Sat.. butnis under the weather..so maybe?

.. 

Its been a busy week.. with the election and the work issues.. and the car repairs... Im struggling..lack of sleep..and early days..long days..

Too much to  get done..

Im not 30 any more.. 

..

Yet..its still just me..

As it has been..

..

Tomorrow is friday..work late..

Then maybe up early to work on the car ..I need to finish getting her back together ..get it into the shop for the ac recharge..

.. 

R

spelling corrections

I just read the previous post.. 

I made spelling corrections..and reposted..

So.. I did not find the gasketa locally.. I ended up ordering them and picked them up Monday at O'Reillys..$8 for the two I need for the compressor..

Monday.. I cleared the codes on Revington to find a loose clamp on the hose to the MAF sensor.. and the low battery codes too. Also the missing orings arrived .. so I thought I would do the condenser too! 

I decided Monday was a bust, so I had lunch with M and went for out walk. I figured I would work on the car after work this week..and try for AC Service next Monday. 

Yesterday, Election day..work was nuts! Major system hiccup 10 min before news ..very tense for 2 hours.. Brian got it replaced and working..I was asked to stay late..I was home by 8:30..cooked and ate dinner, changed clothes..by 11:00 I was in the garage..I stopped at 3:30am..showered and was in bed by 4:00am.I got a lot done.. 

Today I am covering for Brian..so wont be home until 12:30a..so not working on the car..tomorrow is supposed to be an hour late stary and finish..I will probably work the regular shift..then spend a few hrs on the car..

Saturday

L suggested the Brazillian Grill..since its my birthday.. maybe I can get more done after Groceries...

Maybe by Monday.. I can wrap it up..

..

R

cars and car parts

Ok.. the compresor arrived. Of course the gaskets did not.. they are crediting them. So, I got up early the get a haircut first thing, then was gonna go shopping.. so, after the hair cut, Revington would not start.. dead battery.. called L.. picked me up, went.home, took the battery out of the parts car, I had just charged it last week.. grabbed the jumper cables and wrenches..

Back to Revington, swap out the battery.. car started ok..

Got the mail, got gas, went grocery shopping.. went home..

It looked like rain, I dont have the compressor gasket.. put the old battery on the charger.. it showed 12.8v... I checked Revingtons battery.. it was 11.9v and started the car it went to 14v. I figure that means its charging...so I cleaned up the leaves.. a few hours of that..changed clothes and went down the Cape with L and J. .for dinner..

I figure, if I dont replace the condensor, all I need is the o rings for  the compressor.. I should be able to find that locally.. maybe I can install the compressor and reassemble the car..Sunday.. and maybe get it over to the shop to get the AC recharged Monday?? 

..By the way, Revington decided the pop up an engine code and the lights were pulsing.. so we took Pearl..

.. I will have to read the code..I think it was a low power engine misfire.. needs to be driven to charge up the replacement battery.. 

  I hope....

So, tomorrow will be a long busy day..hopefully productive.. I got to get one of these running well enough to get to work on Tuesday...

..

I may need to skip walking with M on Monday..

I am down to 171..

Im happy about that.. 

..

Finances are tight.. had to borrow from the hide...to pay the mortgage..and paid a couple partials..  but will get this past week pay next Friday.. and I have 'radio' cash I could deposit..if I must..

November is not starting well monetarily...

I hope I can recover.. soon.. December is coming and I am hoping to take some time off next year.. if I can...

But, this year..does not seem to be my year.. 

R

November

Welcome to November 2024..

Eight days...

..

I have been feeling like im a bit stretched out.. I seem to have so much going on, no time to get everything done.. work is busy but not intense.. especially not Fridays.

Next week im covering Wednesday night for Brian.. again.. so tues is regular, Wed is late Thurs is regular, Friday is regular late.. so I was told to start an hour later for Thurs..

I may just do the regular shift..

An hour isnt gonna make much difference. ..

So.. the AC compressor will arrive tomorrow.. the gaskets are lost.. I may need to re order.. 

They issued a refund.. 

$10 in parts and $10 for shipping..

I will check the local parts places..maybe someone has them in stock..else Rock auto.. express..??

..

I was hoping to get it done this weekend..then drop it off for the AC recharge.. Monday..

May be another week..

..

No wonder I feel stressed.. 

R

more car work

I figured I needed to pull the radiator...to get the altenator free and the compressor..so I drained that..to lower the motor.. I took out the battery and battery box to get to the transmission mount. I popped the intercooler out of the mount to unscrew the radiator mount, after moving the radiator, condensor and intercooler.. I saw that I could remove the altenator from the front! A pry bar.. and its out!

So i do not have to pull the motor!

..I got the new alternator installed..then started reconnecting everything I did to pull the motor...no need to do that..

I ordered the new AC compresssor ans a new condensor..an AC o ribg kit..these all should be here by Saturday.. I will do my best to get it started this weekend.

Next week..I covering a shift.. so working Wed night. Thrn a regular thursday..and Friday..the supv has me scheduled for an hour later on thurs.. start and stop..I think I will decline and keep the regular schedule for thurs..otherwise dinner will be a problem.. an hour difference start affects the end time and is more difficult than not..

..

Thats what has been keeping me busy..

...

Nothing else is going on..

Just work..home and radios..

No one else wants my time.

..

Some lil bastard..stole the candy bowl.. so Halloween end early.. before I got home at 8..no candy.. lights out... Im pissed that they took the bowl and ruined it for the rest...

.

Finally..

I forgot to submit my time card for last week..it was filled out.. Friday ..I did not hit submit.. the Supv saw only onw week..and said nothing.

I saw the email tuesday..from Monday..saying I need to submit it..

SoI submit it and the supv ignores it..till I send him a an email on Wed..

.  I check payroll.. only one week..

And the Mortgage is due tomorrow..

I inquired with the admin.. he will contact payroll.. maybe they will cut a check next week.

..

I have radios to fix..and a car to get reassembled.,

..

I sleep alone. I have for longer than I ever wanted..but I have no one..and that is that.

..

R

. 

car work

Working on Betty.. started taking more apart..

It appears the best way is to either pull the engine or drop it.. the bolts that hold the alternator cannot be pulled out.. I got one.. but the second one hits the frame. I raised the engine but still need 3 more inches to get it out.

So im pulling more off, hoping I can move the engine further forward to get the bolt out and the compressor too.

Tonight, I got the exhaust off and the radiator loosened.. im gonna try dropping it lower.. maybe I wont have to disconnect the radiator.. I read it needs to be evacuated before or while adding fluid.. and that takes a $100 tool.. 

Maybe I can get it low enough to get the altenator bolt out.. then I will try to drop the compressor. .. I need to order the compressor and an idler pulley and maybe a water pump..

..more I look the more I find..  

I dont have enough money for a replacement engine.. so its fix this and keep saving.. or keep looking for a deal..

I am so glad the Clubman is working..I have been driving it to work..

..

Delivered a few radios today, and shipped a couple earlier this week..and one arrived today..

Also had a couple inquiries.. so some of that will help.. 

..

Funny thing happend Friday night at work.. 

I went across the street from work for my dinner break.. sat at the bar for faster service.. only a few open seats here and there.. the woman I sat next to was with a small group.

.. she started talking to me and I ordered a burger and a beer..

She mentioned it was friday night, I said it was half of my Friday.. I was on my dinner break, and have to go back to work.

After some chit chat , she mentioned that she was out with friends from work.. she worked in health in the city but lived down south.. I said I live there too! She asked where, Intold her my neighborhood, she said me too, she lives on Kirk. I told her I live on the corner of Kirk! She said no way! Really ? I said yes in the green house on the corner.. she asked, the one with the lil cars? 

What a small world! We both live 60 miles away, and meet at the same restaurant. 

..

Weird.

..

R

car delivered

Got home from work Friday, on Saturday.. long night because of football.

Set the alarm to wake early to contact AAA...to tow my car from the dealer to home.

After using the app, i got a msg that the driver wanted me to come out .. I messaged him, to go in the dealership.. and the service advisor will release the car. After a while the driver showed up.. and said the car started and he drove it on.. so he drove it off and into my garage.

They must have charged the battery! And it works.

..

So I located the alternator, took some pictures of the label.. and found several options.. 

I will start there.

..

I may be able to recode revingtons lights.. gonna try that tomorrow..

And probably start dissassembly of Betty.. I need to order the alternator, but want to find the part number for the ac compressor..and order that too..

...

I paid bills today.  Wiped out this last paycheck.. car insurance, cc, and utilities...the next check is for the house payment.. so not much left over for car parts.. but I will card it for now.. still paying for MTTS.. but getting closer..

..

Work is still overpaying my OT.. but this weeks check was correct ..with their mistakes.. 

..

I had the tank checked..but no report yet.. wait..and see..

..

I have been completing tasks regularly.. so making progress.

My company CC was hacked, so they replaced it..

I got a pair of gold earings out of it! 

Not expensive.. but $68...

..

The rest of things....are.. the same.

No one needs a lover..at least not me. If they do..they are not letting me know..

I feel I just need to keep doing as I am.. and get some things done.. 

Get my cars and house together..and maybe plan a trip this winter.. 

Go have some fun in the tropics..maybe..since the snow dont want me.. or, maybe go skiing... I could do that too.. even alone...

...

No info from my friend in Colorado..I think she is keeping on.. I hope so..

..

Nothing from the local.. I hope she has made a turn..and is making it .. I will always worry about her.. 

..

Thats all I can think of..I have a few urgent tasks on my list..that need to be done..and I will..and squeeze the rest in around it.. 

..

Wish me luck..

..

My walking partner is doing fantastic..

Im so happy for her.. 

She feels good and looks better every day..

I have been refraining from being too attracted to her positive attitude and advancements. You keep going! 

...yes.. I still love you.

..

:)

..

R

got the call

Well actually the text..

Need an Alternator, should buy tires..and sonething else..

I read it. Watched the video..

Waited.. 

I called.. left a msg.. hung up, called the parts dept..  got part numbers and $$ . Called back, told the service advisor.. i will be sending a truck to pick up my car. There are no parts available from Mini.. and I will park it in my garage... Besides I know they are really busy with other cars, since it took 6days to diagnose mine, I see you dont have time to fix mine.

...

So I called AAA. They said, to call the day I want it towed.. and they should be able to pick it up.. and bring it home.

..

Now to find and order the parts.. probably do the AC and the bushings too.. tires can wait.. a bit more. 

.. so dinner is dine.. time to go back to work..

R

car repair

Or not.. 

Its thursday night, still driving Revington.. no contact from the dealer, except that they checked it.in on Monday. ...

No diagnostic report.. nothing.

I hope they, charges the battery

. Because, i Will drive it home and fix it my self .. 

Cheeper and probably faster.

I will need to order the parts.. and get it done.

Really not happy with the dealership.

..

Im working a night shift for Brian, and just finished my dinner.. got to pay and get back..

R

ugh!

Yeah, had a code pop up.  A warning message, about the ' battery not recharging. And to stop carefully.'

Everything else was working.. it started with no issues.  Lights worked..

No dimming no pulsing.

Looked it up, lots of various possibilities.. I connected the reader.. a few misfire messages..and an alternator malfunction..

It started ok Friday afternoon.. so I drove it to work..

It started ok at 7pm to go to the transmitter.. then at 8pm ok..

Lights on.. went to dinner, and still good back to work.. every time the battery warning came up, several times.... I scheduled a morning appointment at the dealer ..12:00 AM it started ok for the ride home.. 3/4 the way home.. it died.. said battery depleted.. I was on the hiway.. and the engine stopped.. i coasted to a stop in the breakdown lane..12:30am.

A few mins later.. a State Patrol pulled behind me, asked if I needed a tow.. they called a truck.. and I waited.. I texted L and asked if they could leave work and pick me up at the dealership..i figured I was 15 miles from the dealer.. so have it towed there.. and have L pick me up there.. 

After several tries, we off loaded the car, and within 5 mins L arrived. I got home at 3:00am.

This morning at 9am, I called the dealer..and let.them know..the car is already there.. and I dont need the loaner..

So.. its 8pm.. I have heard nothing ..

..

So..driving Revington

.. 

Other notes.

I got a call from my 2nd brother..

I need to call my cousin about the property and the case..

.. sounds simple.. the appointed representitive is dragging their feet..and also knows the 'other' cousin.. and delays are in their favor..

The request was to have us get a Lawyer and petition the court to replace the representitive..or boot them in the butt to get stuff moving.

..

Other than all that.. I slept till 8..and have done my Saturday chores..and am out with L and J.... Time for dinner.

R

shift change

Another shift change.. one day.

Late night tonight, went in at 1:30.. actually got in at noon.. i  will work till 11:30 minimum.. 

Tomorrow, Friday, same thing. My regular.. next week will be a repeat.

.. 

I finally got things scheduled.. antenna removals on thursday, tank test on Friday.. next week..

Knocking out those things on the task list.. I did more of the sidewalk light upgrades, got the cable trays unscrewed on the roof.. installed the rest of the LED shop lights.. 

..

I have a radio to do.. and some stuff from my brother.. an amp and fishing device. And I need to finish up Enies equipment.. I have ordered parts that should be in this weekend.. and need to research how to defeat the talkback.

I still need to order parts for my car.. bushings and an AC compressor..

...

Food is here...

R

this week.

So far, juat another week. Nothing remarkable to post.. 

Im not hearing much anywhere.

My suicidal friend is still hanging in there. They had been hosptiaized and medicated, and are trying to keep on, but still very depressed and stressed. They were looking for a job..but now they are not sure they can work. I cannot begin to understand the years of torment and depression..the need to hide it all to appear to function.

My heart goes out to them..I wish there was more I could do.

I hope they find a way to continue..I hope it improves enough to allow them to continue with less grief.

...

I have no one I am focused on..

I am just working and keeping up with sleep and repairs..I have plenty to do..I just need to keep up, and try to have ambition....

..

I have settled into a routine.. work.. and chores, weekend bar visits..by my self.. have a few drinks and be around people.  But.. be alone.

Thursdays have been the local bar for dinner after work..and fridays the work bar for dinner break.. some times take out sometimes dine in..

Saturdays dinner out w L and J. Maybe the local after we get back.. .Sundays... Sleep in...and chores or repairs..  house maintenance or car..

I may go to the local for a few.. more alone time with people.. sleep in on Mondays and house chores or radio.. then walking with My friend.. and dinner..

A routine..that lets the days go by.. relatively unnoticed.

Like me..relatively unnoticed.

..I type this..sitting in a bar..waiting for our food order..surrounded by people..alone.

.... Routine.

This is me and my existence..

... Alone...

Among strangers..

..

Yes, a cute girl at the end of the bar.. 

..

R

Friday quick note

On my dinner break.. 

Working till 11:30p or later with football.. 

L and I finished painting the deck.

It looks great! 

I fixed a few radios and worked on my mic and equalizer.. paid bills.. a regular weekend.

..

I found a discrepancy in thia weeks paycheck.. the overtime pay dollar figure is higher than time and a half..by .30/hr.. but they calculated it incorrectly too.. they paid at .20/hr higher than time and a half...

This check included an 15% shift differential for working the early shift for vacation coverage..so an extra amount for 5 hours pay. They are also still paying me 2 hrs OT for each day of my four 10 hour regular schedule... 

So far, it has been consitently about $350 a paycheck.. I know it is going away , in considering it my 'sign on bonus'. 

..

So Facebook had blocked my new account.. for going against their community standards...I had to verify all my login info, email, phone, text and password, and they reinstated it.

.

We appear to have a bad fuel tank at work and I am pushing vendors to give quotes..so we can get this fixed before it becomes a real problem.

..

Lots of paperwork and tasks to finish..a few projects on the list to get done as well.

..

Got some house tasks to work on as well.. and of course car repairs..

..

I seem to have filled all my free time..with things to get done.

R

end of Sept

September screamed by.  Not sure if I accomplished much. 

Revington is dry..so far.. It did that no start thing today at the grocery store. I tapped on the negative terminal..a few times, eventually it started.. i got home and unloaded. Went to start it.  Nothing.  So i pulled it apart.. took out the air box to check the starter battery wires.. not a prob there.. so, I took the battery box apart..to pull the battery.. took off the negative terminal, cleaned it.. tried loosening the positive terminal...it moved.. so..took it off, cleaned the post and terminal, tightened it all down. Started with no problem.

Seems like that was the issue.

So, I cleaned it up, and decided to try the new LED headlights..

They work. But still get the error codes. 

But they are bright and work..just if the highbeams are on, it givea a lowbeam code..

Dont seem to if you are in low beam.

I will have to buy the resistors to patch in.

.. I will get the bugs worked out...

..

We went to the Brazillian Buffet tonight.. ate well.. almost stuffed.

It was a celebratory dinner, L has been at work for 5yrs! ...

Congrats!!

..

I have no plans for tomorrow.. if the sun is out, I may finish painting..if not maybe finish cleaning the basement.. got stuff to sort and throw away. Maybe move the big plazma down to the desk..and hook it to a computer..

Or just fix equipment..maybe get that new mic working. Or clean the bench.

...

I heard from A in Belize.. good to know the hurricane missed them and no heavy rains or flooding. She got a new cat. Still in the house and doing good.

... 

Nothing new to vent.. just plugging along.. 

..

R

kathreines work week

It has been a long week.. i worked for Katherine. She does the morning shift 5 days a week. So five 8 hour days.

I figured out today.. she gets a early morning shift differential.. an hour..but more...

Lets see what it adds..

.. it over all, has been a quiet week.

Nothing major on the morning shift.

Typical prompter issues..but the production staff knows the work arounds..and dont even bother asking for an engineer.

So, i have been doing tasks,logs,and purchasing.

I drained the monitor tube at the transmitter fuel tank... Got 5 gallons of red liquid.. most likely deisel fuel.

So, I submitted a report to my boss..that the tank is compromised..and right now..doea not appear to be breached..

The tank crew..is working on a quote..

...

I went to Hancock and pulled the electronics.  Finally the tower climbers are working on the paper work to go up and remove the antennas.. the boss forwarded an email stating we want to decomission the remote sites by the 15th if next month.. 18 days..

I plan on maybe hitting one next week.. and scheduling the removal of the antennas..

.

I did more of things on the summer tasks.. I painted the bollards. Next will be tape and concrete.

..

I ordered more led lights kits..and replaced some bulbs..

..

Still need to mount the two camera prompter monitors..

..

But, back to normal shift next week and a real 3 day weekend.

.. celebration dinner for L tomorrow..brazillian grill time! 

Maybe finish painting the deck rails..and get to the led headlights for Rev..radios to do..and more basement cleanup..

..

No real contact with anyone.. just work, chores and sleep..what littlei get.

..

I need to check my accruals and see when the next available time off is..

Maybe xmas?

..

If not ..new years..

..

October is next..nothing special..

As far as I know.

..

Just a recap. 

Exciting...not!

R

rain

It has been raining for a few days.. so no more painting.

Work was busy, and been going through the task list..made some headway. 

The fuel tank has still not been quoted, and the sensor pipe is now filled with a fuel smelling liquid..but it is the wrong color?? Possibly...

I need to pump it out and see what color it really is.

Then it could be bad and expensive for the company..

The tower crew still has not set a date.. so I have requested access to go up and remove the equipment.. maybe early this week.. and this week I am covering Katherines vacation.. so five 8hour days..mornings 5 to 1.. so early mornings.. but I will be home by 2 or 3..

Also with all the rain.. Revington is leaking again..I drained a gallon or more out of the carpet and foam.. 

Drying it out..gonna repaint..and pulled the roof gutter off...so far not seeing the source of the ingress..I will waterproof the screws and see if I can fix it . So right now , since ita still raining..it is in the garage.. all apart.

..

I collected radios to work on..

.. 

Stuff to do..

..

My friend is still with us.. she has not left this world..and no idea what is on that horizon.. 

..

R

early..but.. not

Im out.. it was a Sunday.. I slept in..tried to.. the cat woke me at 6.. i got up.. got water. Went back to sleep.. cat woje me again..at 8.. I went back to sleep after giving him some kibble.. from the auto feeder into the saucer...he woke me again yakking on the blanket.. I got up , cleaned it up.. went back to sleep.

Slept till 12.. got up..

Figured I would have coffee and get into some painter clothes.. and start painting the railings on the deck.

Got all the stuff out, and painted for about 4 hours.. got 1 side done..

More tomorrow.. it does look good.

...

That said.. it was a quiet day.

Nothing going on. 

I made early dinner..

Meatloaf..on the forman..

It was good. I changed the recipe ..

Added paprika.. 1/2 cup of italian seasoned porkrinds.. and added dijon mustard.. then I skinned and sliced a zuccini and pan fried it with onion powder, salt and pepper in olive oil.. yummy.. it was a good dinner. 

...

So after all that... Worked on a radio..and then went out for desert and a couple drinks.. still in my 12 hrs.. 

..

So..my mind..is making me think about my past..I am missing past intimacies.. relationships that dissolved and were great.. 

I am alone..marching to the latter part of my age.. no idea how it will end. I have made no future plans..

To obscure.. full of disappointment..

So better to not wish for fariy tales.. just wait and see what falls my way..

Or not.. 

I hope to have a place..down the road..that gives me some comfort..for the life I have lived..

Some justification of the things I have endured.. or at least.. an explanation..of why..

But..I hope to live long enough to have been able to look back and see that some where I made a difference..

Yeah, Im a dad.. and happy and proud of my childs life.. I know I had 50% of that responsibility..

She is a wonderful human. I know I helped that happen.

..

At this point ..if I can smile..a real true uncontrolled smile.. once a day..I am happy.

..

The human existence..is tough..

If we can find any point..that makes us happy..we should feel good..and lucky.

..

Look around you... 

If you have reasons to uncontrollably smile..you are so fortunate.. 

Take that as a gift.

It is for you.

..

If you look..it is there..

LOOK!!

...

Still here..

Missing you..

(Who ever you may be)

R

another week done

So the past few posts have just bewn the day to day. 

Only because I really do not have much going on in my personal life.

Nothing negative , and nothing positive.. nothing.

Im really not sure how I feel about that.

I will always want someone in my life that will listen to me.. argue with me make me think, help me correct.. someone I can learn from, someone I can teach what I know..while I stl know it.

Generally, someone I want to be around..that wants me around..that I want to be around. 

I have learned.. that is a real hard thing to find..to know.. to be a part of. We are unique.  But we all have someone that helps us feel complete..that is what I am looking for.. for so long. 

.....

Work..

I did get in the things I ordered.. 

I was able to mount one of the three camera displays and the display on the top of the ring.. although I didnt run a signal cable to it..yet.

The other 2 camera displays will take time.. they will have totally unique mounts and power requirements.

The sidewalk lights were 50/50 some worked some blew when I replaced them..some just didnt power at all.

The Satellite antenna is still broken, the new controller needs to be reprogrammed..and I still need to repoint it to a useable signal.

The shop lights worked great! I got 4 installed..it is now brighter than before.. I still have 2 left to install and a bunch to remove.. the daisy chain wiring was a bit challenging..but I think I did well figuring it out.

I am sure I will be doing more..in different offices..its a big building.

...

...

I have new headlights for Revington..and will probably have to modify the light circuits to make them work.. I have the lift kit too, but It dont need tires yet. So do I install the lift and see if it looks ok.. or wait till I news tires..or put taller tires on the spare wheels and swap them?? 

..

I also still need bushings and an compressor for Betty.

And time and a lift.. I may be able to do the bushings on Jack stands in my garage.. 

...

I have ordered stuff..should be in next week..

Shoes.. radio parts.. car parts..

Meanwhile, I am working on old projects. radios and home stuff..

Maybe tomorrow I will see if I can vent the bedroom doors..

Ac and heat..to provide returns and allow flow.

I need to see if I can easily take out the upper door panels and replace them with grates..

I have been puzzling this for a while.

..

Just busy work...

R

inspection

So this work week started with a two day inspection. The inspector was decent, mainly pointed out discrepancies and let us fix what we could on the spot.. and gave recommendations to stay compliant.

All went well, till the end.. we were lacking required documentation and proof that we were doing a task, because no one had been doing the clerical work since the last operator left.. I was not assigned the task, and should have been.. so we searched and found all we had for the past two years and were only missing 3 weeks last year.. so now that we have found all logs and the reports, I will have to combine them and verify and sign

.. back dating and we are good..and of course..continue from now on.. weekly and monthy reports..

..my first live weekly report is tomorrow or Tuesday...

I guess it should be Tuesday..to get the Sun to Sat reporting..

...

Im still pushing the contractors for the remote site work and the other for the fuel tank monitor problem..but no seems to want the job..or to make any money..

..

Im working on several projects ..one was a flop today..but may be salvageable..the led lights in the shop will be better once I get time to rewire the ceiling..

I have led lamps for the sidewalk.. and displays for the cameras coming.. studio lights to test and hang before the lighting tech comes..I will get help with that..

...

At home... I need to tear out the radio bench and clean it up..maybe make it larger..start painting the deck railings..I bought the paint and brushes..

..

I need to get back into my fasting exercise routine.. 

Im  trimming down, but had a few cheats and schedule mishaps..but still lost a couple lbs.. so..doing ok.

..

Im not so lonely, because im busy..and at the end of the day..wiped out .

I still miss having someone..to verify my existence..

My L is still wrapped in her world..but doing well..

...

The money is doing ok.. Im paying what is due..paying off what I can..

Working through it.. keeping the credit score stable..

..

Cars are running ok.

Mine still needs a ac compressor..

But Revington's headlights are on their way..I will probably have to add the load resistors..

Pearl is running ok..

..

So. 

Not hearing any more or less from Up North..if I think about it..im sad..

I wanted that to become..Something..

I think, I did try..

Not the time..I guess.

..

Central America is well, and gorgeous as always..but no visit this year, and I am out of PTO.. till January..

..

They started another department on 4 tens..so corporate has said they have figured it out..so they wont be overpaying me some time soon..

Its only been 6 months..

Really, I am not complaining.. just glad they are not asking for it back.

I will take it as a couple $$$$.$$ bonus.

..

So.. I have been buying the things I want/need..and so far not struggling.

..

Trying to get my projects done..

...

Just still feeling kinda alone.

I can do the daily routine..and feel satified.. but really miss having a companion..someone that I am enduring all the crap for...

Beside just me...

..

R

what a week

I feel this week was one task, waiting for the previous task to be started after I finish the one im working on...

Just always seem to be two tasks behind the new one. 

I did rearrange the room. Moved the bed under the windows.. moved the stack of radios out of the corner to over near the door. Vacuumed again..

The dresser and radio bench is the same..and will need to be torn down cleaned and sorted then put back.

..

I sent a msg to my friend in Colorado.. hoping for a reply.. 

A couple days later.. I did get a reply..

An apology, they were in the hospital.

..I looked in their facebook.. and they had posted, they are looking for a place to start over.. a place to move to and find a job. Several replys offering a place to stay.. even with cats! .. hopefully it isnt just a front..a im out of the hospital..I need to show I have changed my mind...publicly ...

But I am hopeful she will continue a bit more..

I am worried about her. I care for her. I will be sad if she goes. But I do understand her turmoil and grief she has been living with. 

I wish her only the best how ever she decides that must be.

... 

I am doing ok, after this week.. 

Fire will temper steel.. 

Here I am.

I am plugging away, doing what I want, with in reason..so I expect to continue with the path Im on..

I have no problems following instructions and doing what I am asked to do.

...work is work.. I hope to be able to do this for the next 9 or so years.. it dont matter who owns us.. as long as I can be productive..and contribute and be respected.. I will be good.

...

R

first of the month

Welcome to September.

Tomorrow is my normal day off..and a holiday. So I will get paid for 8 hours. I was possibly going to cover a shift, but no request. So, im off.

I will get up early..ish and I have a radio to look at. Then walk with M and dinner.  After I get pizza and a sub for the house. 

The Monday schedule has been a good thing. 

 Not much happening.. it was a quiet Sunday.. I did vacuum the whole house.. and made dinner and did the dishes.. and then out by myself for  desert and a couple.

..

Tomorrow, maybe I will move the bedroom around. At least the bed.. and change the sheets.

..

Maybe..maybe not.

..

This week will be long..and hopefully not stressful..

..

Just one day at a time.

I have not heard or seen any posts..

So no deadline outcome.

...

R

end of August

Im here. Wondering.. 

I wont know.  

Im really not sure if I want to know.

Im sad. But if it ends her grief, who am I to wish her to stay. I am not that selfish to wish more stress or pain on a friend. It hurts to know it is not something I can fix. 

...

The rest.. is minimal to present..

But, I need to vent.. it is my way to cope and continue..

..

Im back to the 'mode'.. just working till I cant.. most times I dont feel old..

I still do what I must..and hate to be bored. Yes, there is plenty to do..but I pick and choose..unless I get ambition..and get lots done. 

.. but.. I take time.. just for me.. 

Sleep when I can.. alone ..except for the cat..on occasion.. get up early on work days..try to sleep late on the weekends..yeah. . mostly 8am.. sometimes 10.. 

Yeah..late..

..

My 'schedule' is flexible..but constant..

4 day ten hours work weeks.. 3 day weekends. ..  groceries laundry and out to dinner on Saturdays.. walking The canal on Mondays .. attempts at fasting ..

But it repeats..

Has been repeating..

I have (sometimes) Thursdays for dinner at the bar.. and (sometimes) drinks at the bar on Saturdays..

Maybe Sundays..just me.. just to not have to be home ..by myself.

(Yeah there others home..but if the cat isnt sleeping..he is the only interaction I get.).

So , if I have no pending tasks..Im trying to stay busy..

..

Yes, I clean, do dishes, cook.. and do house and car maintenance.. yard work.. but..

...I have only my satisfaction. 

And. 

Im still incomplete..alone.

Ok..I am done lamenting..

R

goodbye to a friend

Ok..I have to do this .

Goodbye.

I am trying to come to grip with this.

My friend explained to me, that she is done with this life. She is selling everything and giving the rest away.

She is surrendering. Giving up. Or giving in.

She has struggled with anxiety and detachment for decades. Failed relationships and jobs, friendships. Her mindset changes minute to minute.. she puts on a good front to those who dont know. And has been getting by.. but she is done. 

She never hinted at it when I visited..she seemed happy and content.. she even agreed to be my girl when I was in town..

Pinky sweared! 

But , after I left. .. she explained ..with out saying..that she was going to take her life.. I have figured her date is by the end of the month.

No new bills.. 

Her other friends are aware.  She mentioned that she was visited by the local police every day this past week. Everyone is concerned.. as am I..

But, she will or will not..but no one will prevent her from her exit.

If she chooses to do it. 

..

Me, personally ..will miss her. Knowing she is gone, will make me sad.  I am stressed about knowing and knowing, I cannot do anything about this wonderful person's decision..

.. 

It has made for a convoluted mental state these past 3 weeks or so..

..

But as always.  Life continues..I will keep on.. 

The world will keep spinning.. 

I hope to remember her for a long time.

I will miss her.. I know I have said this.  I will.

..

I can only hope she has a epiphany..and just makes a change..and keeps on..

.. one can wish.

R

tough week

Had a long week. 

I was asked to work a double..and stayed late the day before .. it was unclear if I was coming in late or just working a double shift.. so I started at the regular time. Turns out, I was not needed to work late and went home after an hour an a half after mt regular shift.

 The scheduled trainining never happened, no one stayed for it..

But the night before we had a internet outage caused by corporates mistake and lost connections to the remote site.

So I ended up staying two hours.. then the next couple days each had late endings.

As well as stressful minutes of troubleshooting and repairs. 

I did get the recycle loaded and delivered.  Made the company $5300

There is still a few thousand left to be scrapped..but it will require a bunch of hours of cutting and sorting.. 

...

Paid the trip tolls and violation today..

And the house bills through the first week of September.

..

I have had no contact.. 

And dont expect any..

..

The underlying thought is always there. 

Expect nothing..you will never be disappointed.

I give people too much credit sometimes.  I expect people to act or react the same way I would..

'Do on to others'

And all that... 

But it has been my experience, that no one thinks the way I do.

..

I am probably wrong .. the way I think and interpret my beliefs..

I have proven time and time again, that no one thinks like me.. I am alone.. and probably will be for the duration.. 

I have made exceptions, pressing the round peg into the square hole.. it sort of fits.. but it becomes uncomfortable for them and they squirm and wiggle through.. and drop out.

No, I dont think Im unique..just not like everyone else.. I dont.. never have..fit in..and at this time in my place.. I wont have many or any chances to...

I need to forge ahead..find the things I can enjoy and forget about a 'happy' more than friendship..

It wont happen..it may have..but I may have been dreaming that it ever did..Im sure not on my terms.. 

Too many compromises.. allowances..and in the end it just never was meant to last..

..

I wont give up..but I just will stop trying.. it only brings pain and lonley..

.

Then leaves me wondering why..

.

If someone would be kind enough to sit me down and explain what I did or didnt do..or what they were expecting..and where I fell short..or where they lost interest.. or what they realized that made them pull away or give up.

Yeah, I dont think I am always at fault..but.. it always feels that way.

It just hurts to think about it..

It is worse for it to just end..and from where I see..for no reason.

..

I will never know. At least never in time to fix it.

..

So, I should give up.

..

I am ..this close to being free..of the requirement of the 9 to 7..

(Yeah 9-5 for the rest) ..

Im planning on putting in my time and walk.. 

If I have to do that by myself.. I will..and I will find a way to be happy about it.

...

R

plumbing :(

I spent all day working on my leak in my shower.. it has been leaking.. 

First i bought the wrong replacement cartidges.. returned them. Bought thr right ones.. and the right tool.. but could only do half.. could not get the seats out.. still drips.. and i broke a lever.  Bought a replacement lever.. dont fit... So tomorrow, i will replace the whole cover..it comes with a lever.. and its $20 more.  And it will be new..not 30 yrs old. 

..

Just met a group of young girls.. 

Invited me over to chat.

It was interesting. 

Makes a guy wonder..

..

All in good fun..

..

Time to go..

R

mid month

It has been a week.  It started with no successes. Lots of work but no satisfaction.  We had some network installs at the transmitter, and I found a possible issue with the main transmitter.

I ordered a replacement part and worked on that pesky satellite antenna. 

The next day I got a call, before work, from the customer service.. 

He said it may not be the part I needed..it may be an interface board.. and that I should call him when I get on site.

After some troubleshooting, I got him on the phone, and he suggested a hot reset.. a simple button press..done! He did verify that there is a replacement fan kit.. and I will be ordering them.. I may need 96 of them!! Lots of noisy fans...

..

My friend, has contacted me a couple times..so she is still with us..for now..

She offered to sell me her car..so she can pay some bills..I mentioned we had openings for SEs.. she said..Im never working for commission any more...

But.. I think she has a date.. the end of the month.

I have nothing more I can say..

I hope she does not..

But , she has been planning it .. apparently for a while..

I dont think anything I could say will change her mind.

I will miss her..

Its a sad thing.

..

I dont have much else happening..

I am radio light right now..so I have been fixing things I have been putting off ..around the house..

I did the front brakes on my car..

And bought new headlights for Revington..they came in but didnt work right..so im returning them.

I will need to look for another brand.

I looked at walmart..$100!! 

So, the ali Express ones are a better choice..for now...

..

I totally messed up the fasting..

Yesterday was not on any schedule.

Today was better..I think I got 11hours. .

..

Nobody wanted me when I was thin 

.so I dont think it matters..

R

attempts

I was finally getting settled into the fasting..I got a day and half.. then today..I skipped breakfast, last intake was 10:30p.. so I got to work and had not even sipped my coffee. 9:00a, busy so I think I did have some.. so 11 hrs.. then busy till 10.. only water .. then by 1:00p someone bought me lunch.. so I ate.  Almost 12 hrs with the coffee cheat.. ate a big dinner..and will reset tonight. 

Fridays are a late work day.. I plan on getting up by 8.. run some errands and make some dinner for L&J for later.. then head off to work.. 

I will have to see if I can get through the night.

..

I dont have any projects scheduled for Saturday. Just groceries. Maybe the car speedo for Pearl..which means dismantling the parts car.. first.. then Pearl.. 

..

I could deliver the unfixed radio..

Then down Cape for dinner.

..

I got a message to call a Chief Eng..of the competition.. he wanted to know if I wanted to talk with him about an opening he has..I told him I was all set for now.

He said if my situation changes to let him know.

Nice to know, I may have an exit if this goes sour.

...

I have not contacted my friend about her white flag. I hope she finds a bit to keep on..and not surrender. 

..

Im in a weird place.. I think it may be settling back in after the road trip.

It was a cleansing experience..

Im still riding some of that.

Not much is bothering me .. which is good.. why I needed to do the whole thing.. it is worth all it cost.

..

I have not rushed back to social media..I miss it a little..less every day.

No one is looking for me..so I think it has out lived its purpose.

..

Im me

R

summer weekends

Yeah, a far cry from what they used to be. I tried to sleep in.. 

A double text from fed ex..telling me I have a package to be delivered tomorrow!! The text was at 8am! 

Then another before 10. Yes I was still asleep.. so I got up, did the morning routine..got coffee, and spent the next 2 hours fixing my check book.. still processing the trip receipts.. still have a $70 discrepancy.. but next month I should be able to straighten it out.

I did a temporary fix to the furnace..and my laundry is done..

So I went back to the radio on the bench.. the sender measaged me with an addition.. and a couple informational querys.  It was a simple $40 intergration.. and I spent the rest of the day finishing it. 

I just sent him the invoice and work record. 

Easy enough.

I had another inquiry..and sent him the 2 replies to get him straight..

..

I finished and shut down.

My friend has posted a white flag..

Surrender..

Giving up.

Wish I could do something..

...

So.. Monday I have no early plans.. but I will go for a walk. Maybe I could get the kayak out.. do the pond.. get some upper body first..

Then swim.. before the hike.

Make the rest of the muscles hurt..

...

If the weather is mild.. I could dismantle the dash of the spare car and take out the big speedo for Pearl.. and the top of the dash for Revington.

..the parts I ordred for Betty should be in tomorrow too.. I may be doing brakes ...

..

Or  just not..

.. 

Maybe I will get motivated..

Or I could always clean the house....

..

I am just me..

I have no one to impress..just me.

My satisfaction is my only reward.

..

I have a few financial hurtles to complete in the next few months..

I need to loose the trip weight..

To get back.. then figure out if I can drop somemore before fall.

It just takes a plan and some decision on my part.. 

Just because I should.

..

Then.. maybe rework my mind around my age..

R

thoughts for a friend

The title is all I can say, for now.

I am thinking of your well being.

Hoping against hope. 

Its an awkward place.. I am quite torn. But..I can do little more than I did. 

...

Its the weekend.  Work kinda sucked this week. I did not think I was able to complete any task. I did start acouple.. Sunday I did finish the directors office.. so thats one thing.

But .  The Antenna issue is still a thorn.. the doorbell camera is still in process.  I did the most difficult part last night.  

The remote site projects are waiting on call backs and the fuel tank issue as well. 

I need to spend some time cutting brass and copper.. that is coming quick..and I have more TVs to mount.

...

Nothing heard from up north.. 

Again, I dont expect any different.

She must have forgot me, or has a reason to not like me anymore.

I dont know.

.. 

I still have vehicle issues. AC in Betty..the brakes are on their way..

I need to dismantle the speedometer in the parts car..and swap out the one in Pearl.. and the dash top in Revington.. waiting for a few cooler days..

..

Still not sure how much I spent on the trip..

Its a bit.. for sure.

.. 

I feel I need to make a change..

A change in attitude.. method.. and approach. 

I know how. I just need to act.. not think.. 

Time is no longer my friend..and i need to try.

Think about that..

R

August

Im back from my road trip.

I did cone back...

It was long and lots of miles.

I traveled across the  country.. coast to coast.

I went places I have never been.. 

Seen things I always wanted to see.

.. I did it alone.. with my MINI family.

They came to my aid. Mutual appreciation for something. ..

Can bring us together. 

I met a couple memorable people..

Even the VP of NA MINI.

One meeting of a lovely woman at a gas station.. fellow MINI owner, pepper white.. from Idaho. We talked ovwr gas pumps for about an hour.

She was cute, established, and liked her MINI!  As she said..it was serindipitious that we met.

The other MINI owner I met at the dealer in Salt Lake.. she needed brakes and another in her crew needed porcupine repairs..

We met again for a couple cruises..I was accepted into their procession..and drove with them between stops in Washington.

Nice people.

...

My return drive was the way I expected. Except the suicidal birds flying into my car in South Dakota..and the amazing amount of bugs.. my car was covered..I washed it twice that day! 

..

The visit went well, and I had a great time. 

I am glad I detoured there..and I even added another day at the fantastic hotel. 

I did not see everyone I wanted or planned to see.. but those I did were worth the time.

..

The drive back home was uneventful, and I was happy to be home a day early. That gave me time to recoup.

Those that cared, missed me.. 

It is niced to be missed. 

I am sorry that not everyone missed me, or even noticed I was gone...

...

That being said.. 

I am glad to still still have a job and be missed at work... 

Lets hope the company keeps on..

..

Im still being over paid.. but..I hear they are going to stop paying for our lunches.. and I will need to adjust my daily schedule by 30mins..

.. 

I hope the job dont go more down hill..

I hope they still will need me to fix and maintain.  Otherwise, I may just retire and downsize my life.. and find a comfortable place to be.

Or I can just keep working another 10yrs.. and then.. make appropriate adjustments.. 

...

Just me and the cat..

R

end of the first week back ..

Busy, and tired.. not jet lag, but similar.  Nice to sleep in my own bed. Just me and the cat. He was happy to see me. 

The car made 1/4 million miles.. and needs some service.. brakes and oil and AC compressor. 

I spent a considerable amount of time by myself, with only my thoughts. Surprisingly I was very peaceful.  Driving is my mental cure.

Sure, I thought about the past situations, but not the consuming, beat myself up, converations I usually have.. like what did I do or not do...q

I did enjoy the scenery and the road..

That was the point. 

I had car issues to deal with, and route issues, and having lost my travel contacts..navigation... and wondering where to have dinner.. lodging decisions.. all the things that goes with traveling solo.

I was able to find my way, join a traveling group or two for a while.. 

Then after the Rally was over..and I fimally got my car back.. the return road trip was mainly just me and the car..over all that part went pretty good.

The visit in the Springs went better than I thought it would. 

I went by the old house.. they took out the rest of the bushes.. and cut down one of the trees.. 

But its not my house anymore..

Good for them.

The old friends were happy to see me. I found out most of the old haunts are not the same .. new owners, closed..or just different.

I didnt make it to visit the old job. That may have been a good thing to do. I tried to contact A.. but no.. had the wrong number. 

The ride back was good.. made good time.. had a day to recoop..

..

No local contact.  Figures.. that book is closed.. for now.. 

..

I figured I spent $1000+ in fuel

Traveled 8800 miles..

And I havent figured the lodging. 

A few bucks..im sure.

..

Work made a few updates..the remote project has been cancelled..so all the work I did before..for nothing.. I need to go back and ripout all the equipment..dismantle the antennas.

Hire climbing crews to take them out.

Sooner the better.. 

I spent all day in a satellite dish.. making repairs.. in the heat.. I hope its gonna work tomorrow..or else I will need to buy some parts.. 

Never a lack of things to get done.

I have home stuff to do.. car service and some house stuff. 

And I working coverage thia Sunday night too..

Welcome home...

R

home

Well, the car and I made it home.

We left Colorado Springs, at 8:30pm, Friday.. stopped near the Kansas border and slept from 11 to 2a.. drove a half tank and napped again, 30 mins and back on the road.

A co-driver would have made this better..but just me...

I drove as much as I could and nade it home by Sunday afternoon at 4:30p.

As far as I am concerned, I did well, by myself.

I did get to visit with some old friend.

I did reach out to A..but the # I have no longer belongs to her.

I did try.

Oh well..

I did visit old friends and was accepted.. 

But..now im not there..

It was good to see them in person.

R

rally is over

Yep, I made it all the way. 

Dropped into Oregon from Yakima, to the Columbia river.  Drove past the dam to The Dellas. No AC. Got aome great pictures and video. Then returned to the hotel. 

The next day we did a pass ride through the mountains. 

Amazing views . Lots of pictures.

Once in a lifetime view of Mt. Rainier.

Landed in Seattle.. I went directly to the dealer to check the AC. They gave me. A loaner ..a new convertible.. I went to the last event.

Good food. When it was over.  I went back to the hotel and in the morning went back to the dealer.. and got the bad news.. the car needs a new compressor.. the high pressure switch is bad.. they did not have that part.. 2wks to order.. so no fix. And the axle seal leak was worse and needed to be replaced.. so we did that.. 

They were done by 2:30p.. drove down to meet a guy to sell some radio parts.. then started my final ride to North Dakota.. a stop in Montana 9 hrs later.. then on to Bismark, ND.. it was hot and the AC was minimal at best.. 

I stayed a a fantastic hotel in Bismark. Breakfast in the AM and on the road, nearly straight down to Colorado.

11+ hours later , made it to Colorado Springs. Checked in at the hotel and then met up with Dave and Jimmy.. had dinner and beers at OCs.. we talked for hours.. closed the place.

I met Dave for breakfast the next day.

Then met with Kathy for lunch , then mini-golf. After, dropped her at home,drove around a bit, went to walmart and the autopart store for trip oil, then went back to my room, and napped till 10 and went over for dinner..alone.

Tomorrow, I plan on visiting the station then maybe think about leaving before dark. 

I didnt reach A, or anyone else..J responded but no invite to stop by.

So, I will tell Kendall that i wont be sticking around.. and probably head out. 

I thought about lines..but not that cool..so no. Nothing.. 

I saw someone I missed..make a post.. so that is done too.

.. 

Over all.. not worth then $$ spent.

I did get to conclude my 48 states.. but everything could have been better.

Oh well.. 

Thats how it has gone for this time.. 

The thought was there.. but nothing went the way I wanted or expected.

R