goodbye to a friend

Ok..I have to do this .

Goodbye.

I am trying to come to grip with this.

My friend explained to me, that she is done with this life. She is selling everything and giving the rest away.

She is surrendering. Giving up. Or giving in.

She has struggled with anxiety and detachment for decades. Failed relationships and jobs, friendships. Her mindset changes minute to minute.. she puts on a good front to those who dont know. And has been getting by.. but she is done. 

She never hinted at it when I visited..she seemed happy and content.. she even agreed to be my girl when I was in town..

Pinky sweared! 

But , after I left. .. she explained ..with out saying..that she was going to take her life.. I have figured her date is by the end of the month.

No new bills.. 

Her other friends are aware.  She mentioned that she was visited by the local police every day this past week. Everyone is concerned.. as am I..

But, she will or will not..but no one will prevent her from her exit.

If she chooses to do it. 

..

Me, personally ..will miss her. Knowing she is gone, will make me sad.  I am stressed about knowing and knowing, I cannot do anything about this wonderful person's decision..

.. 

It has made for a convoluted mental state these past 3 weeks or so..

..

But as always.  Life continues..I will keep on.. 

The world will keep spinning.. 

I hope to remember her for a long time.

I will miss her.. I know I have said this.  I will.

..

I can only hope she has a epiphany..and just makes a change..and keeps on..

.. one can wish.

R