November is done.
A bit of a ride.. ups and downs..
Much stress.
I feel i have not been as much of a friend as I should be.
I have bills and things to take care of.. I need to start some new things and end some old.. my motivation is there but I am looking for the signal in the sky.. the one that tells me I should put these things in motion..
I may be missing it..or not adding it all up.
I know.. I will.. I just have no one to encorage me ..
I know..that someone is me.. and I wont get a sign.. I have to interpret the timing.. and make it happen..
The pieces are falling in place.. I need to stop stalling and make the move..
It really is what I want.. I have no reason to wait.. none.
More reasons to be already making it happen.
This is on me..
L is along for the ride.. no opinion from there at all.
She is very aware of my stresses.. and obligations..
I know..it is time..
Where to start.. ??
I need to work that out..
I will.
So.. here I am..
Things must change..I must change them.
To my readers..
This change.. any of it.. will be positive..and a long time coming..
I don't dwell as much on the lonely. .
It is there.. and not talking about it all the time don't lessen it.
So I don't. As much..
For all the reasons.. I kinda gave up bitching about it..
It seems to be where I am..have been..will be..
I have listened to those that offered advice..
'Stop looking and it will find you'
Bull.
Sometimes it can happen..but.. here I am..
Just getting old.
If you are already lonely. .you don't get more lonely. . You just are.
My work..being the demanding bitch she is.. has found how to take my free time and make it hers.. and I dont really mind.. being busy..
But there is more to life than work..
Sometimes..just sleeping in is my reward..on the rare occasion I can.
I am old enough to realize..I have to do for me.. first... and figure it out.
Yes.. I can .
So.. I have things to do..and will do.
We will see where and when..
Yes.. I miss a lot.
I am here..in this place..and I feel I must change it..
I can. Should..and will.
R 12/1/17
A bit of a ride.. ups and downs..
Much stress.
I feel i have not been as much of a friend as I should be.
I have bills and things to take care of.. I need to start some new things and end some old.. my motivation is there but I am looking for the signal in the sky.. the one that tells me I should put these things in motion..
I may be missing it..or not adding it all up.
I know.. I will.. I just have no one to encorage me ..
I know..that someone is me.. and I wont get a sign.. I have to interpret the timing.. and make it happen..
The pieces are falling in place.. I need to stop stalling and make the move..
It really is what I want.. I have no reason to wait.. none.
More reasons to be already making it happen.
This is on me..
L is along for the ride.. no opinion from there at all.
She is very aware of my stresses.. and obligations..
I know..it is time..
Where to start.. ??
I need to work that out..
I will.
So.. here I am..
Things must change..I must change them.
To my readers..
This change.. any of it.. will be positive..and a long time coming..
I don't dwell as much on the lonely. .
It is there.. and not talking about it all the time don't lessen it.
So I don't. As much..
For all the reasons.. I kinda gave up bitching about it..
It seems to be where I am..have been..will be..
I have listened to those that offered advice..
'Stop looking and it will find you'
Bull.
Sometimes it can happen..but.. here I am..
Just getting old.
If you are already lonely. .you don't get more lonely. . You just are.
My work..being the demanding bitch she is.. has found how to take my free time and make it hers.. and I dont really mind.. being busy..
But there is more to life than work..
Sometimes..just sleeping in is my reward..on the rare occasion I can.
I am old enough to realize..I have to do for me.. first... and figure it out.
Yes.. I can .
So.. I have things to do..and will do.
We will see where and when..
Yes.. I miss a lot.
I am here..in this place..and I feel I must change it..
I can. Should..and will.
R 12/1/17
posted from Bloggeroid
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