It is a good work month.. never-ending tasks.. getting close to crunch time. I have to finish up the projects..nothing can carry into next year.. the money stops in December. If the project isnt finished..invoiced. .it isnt getting paid from this years budget.
We have only a couple things left.. I may add a new task.. but as an addon.. and dependant on weather. .. and scheduling.
It is one of those tasks that if I can..it will be good for work..and I can add it to a list of issues I solved.. a gold star for me.. something to add to my portfolio.
Now.. here I am.. close to the end of this month. I have to plan for the holiday.. just L and I.. its gonna be a simple affair.. and depending someone's sleep schedule.. maybe we can try for a drive..chase the sunset.. no other plans.. no invites.. not even a msg from her mom.. you would think.. maybe an invite to dinner at the new house.. but they are not talking..and nothing in my messages..
Money is tight this month.. and maybe next.. the year will end..soon..
I do not expect any bonus this year.. maybe a gift card...
I have vacation that will probably go unused.. I have been going into work early and leaving late.. no one that matters notices..
So nothing new.. here I am.
I looked through the postings..found the one from last January was reposted.. I need to ask.
Maybe..I am stuck. . Maybe I just dont realize..
Nothing special happening.. I am surviving.. but it should be much more.. I should have something to look forward to.. some plan..
All I can focus on is work and bills.
I feel I have missed any opportunities. . Either by being to old.. spending so much time in the wrong dimension.. not realizing where I should be or who I should be with..yet..I am in this place.
A relative term.. but..mentally..vs..physically.. here.
Personally.. in relation to this existance..
Still trying to get to a place..a. comfortable place..
Some where I can relax and be me...with someone that likes the real me. Someone who enjoys my company..someone I want to be around. I know they are there.. the problem is.. I am not..
That seems to be my fault..
Timing.
So.. I know I need to change my location..I know I need to figure out how to get from the here and now...to the there..I will accept close..or closer.. I need to make the time to start that process.. and go.
Things can change..
It is up to me.
R 11/16/17
We have only a couple things left.. I may add a new task.. but as an addon.. and dependant on weather. .. and scheduling.
It is one of those tasks that if I can..it will be good for work..and I can add it to a list of issues I solved.. a gold star for me.. something to add to my portfolio.
Now.. here I am.. close to the end of this month. I have to plan for the holiday.. just L and I.. its gonna be a simple affair.. and depending someone's sleep schedule.. maybe we can try for a drive..chase the sunset.. no other plans.. no invites.. not even a msg from her mom.. you would think.. maybe an invite to dinner at the new house.. but they are not talking..and nothing in my messages..
Money is tight this month.. and maybe next.. the year will end..soon..
I do not expect any bonus this year.. maybe a gift card...
I have vacation that will probably go unused.. I have been going into work early and leaving late.. no one that matters notices..
So nothing new.. here I am.
I looked through the postings..found the one from last January was reposted.. I need to ask.
Maybe..I am stuck. . Maybe I just dont realize..
Nothing special happening.. I am surviving.. but it should be much more.. I should have something to look forward to.. some plan..
All I can focus on is work and bills.
I feel I have missed any opportunities. . Either by being to old.. spending so much time in the wrong dimension.. not realizing where I should be or who I should be with..yet..I am in this place.
A relative term.. but..mentally..vs..physically.. here.
Personally.. in relation to this existance..
Still trying to get to a place..a. comfortable place..
Some where I can relax and be me...with someone that likes the real me. Someone who enjoys my company..someone I want to be around. I know they are there.. the problem is.. I am not..
That seems to be my fault..
Timing.
So.. I know I need to change my location..I know I need to figure out how to get from the here and now...to the there..I will accept close..or closer.. I need to make the time to start that process.. and go.
Things can change..
It is up to me.
R 11/16/17
posted from Bloggeroid
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