Day 2..

Yep.. still busy.. still stressed.
Got things to complete. Work.. and personal.
Work is easy.. schedule.. plan.. do it.
Personal... a bit harder.. I have to convince myself to make the step.. start moving.. make the call.. put things In motion.. I can.. I should.. im not certain.. I have to worry about failure..rejection..or even worse.. not being able to follow through... making the step..and having to go back..if it dont work..

I do need to decide and just do it..get it started.. so many things will need to change..and most for the better.. sure it will make some unhappy..some pissed..most wont care..
Even if I fail.. it will be movement..I can rebound if I try.. but if I don't. .I am still just here. Where I have been..

I know I can be happy.. I know I can share my happy.. with the right person. Not only someone that needs it..deserves it..but someone that will help share it with me.

I can dream.

I have no liquid $ for any vacation. I need to get away.. these next 60+ days are tough days.. very few days available .. but as always I am back to use it or lose it.. even with 5 days less.. I cannot seem to use all I have earned.

Maybe I should take week and just get up early.. and clean from top to bottom.. paint.. and refloor my living room..
Eat 3 daily meals and drink lots of coffee... for a week.
Fix stuff.. and clean and declutter.

Hmmm.
I could invite guests to this pit I live in.. where no one ever wants to visit...
Maybe I should move to detroit or the bronx...

This is my existance..

Save me..

R 11/2/17

posted from Bloggeroid