The questions of the hour.
I have delayed doing much. No cash. Other obligations.
I have a deadline.
We got instructions about when the changes will begin.
I have 40 ish days. Ticking.
But during that 40. I have to be at work next week. Then I have to be at work the first Sunday in February. .Superbowl.. so time is short.
I probably should just take a few days off. Stay home..maybe paint the livingroom.
I was asked tonight to drive out and pick someone up and bring them to Denver. That would be a fantastic 4 or 5 day drive! But its winter. Not everywhere else is gonna be 55 degrees tomorrow. Most places wont see those temps for a few more months.
It is tempting. I could squeeze it in between next weeks weekend and the superbowl. Weather permitting. Maybe not..too close..it I hit bad weather and was delayed a day I would not be back in time.
Maybe after the superbowl.
Then of course that would strand my young adult home with no transportation. Not gonna work.
See how this keeps happening!.
Stuck.
I could just fly somewhere.. and fly home.
Just time and money.
No where near enough time used.
Stay-cation is probably the only way to get it used.
Or not at all and kiss it goodbye for now. Just wait for the next available vacation to kick in.
Which I will have 5 less days and probably will have the same trouble using.
Such a delemma.. I am sure I should stop bitching about it and just go skiing by myself take 4 day weekends till summer.
I should figure out if I sell everything I can, re-mortgage the house, take the cash out to kill the creditcard bills and payments, pay off the parent and student loans. Giving up all equity in my house.
This would delete all of my monthly payments except mortgage, car ins, utilities, gas and food. Leaving roughly $2000 a month in bills and plenty left after my monthly pay. I could just start over.
If .
Hmmmm.
I would be a lot less stressed.
My kid would be debt free.
I would possibly be able to save some money. Then vacations would not be such a chore to do. I would enjoy them and not have the clean-up after.
I have had that thought to keep paying In until I chose to move..sell and use the equity and profit to get a home where I needed to be..not here.
I don't see that happening.
I took a wrong turn somewhere.
Taxes this year will not be as good as last year.
Working one less job. So no benefit to rely on there.
Now have a roofing bill added to my bottom line.
So any gains I made on my credit bills.. negated.
Damn hail..
Plusses and minuses.
My home is worth more and insurance is less.
So mortgage should drop now that more is going to the principal.
But only half way.
If you were wondering about my state of mind..
This is what I have been dwelling on for the past 4 or 5 months.
Every day. Almost all the time.
Nevermind the normal things I stress over. Just add to it all.
My relationship status or lack of. My young adult problems.
My daughter/mother issues. Financial. Work. Bills .vs income.
Worry that I may at any moment be out of work.
Decision regret.
Yet here I am.. plugging away.
I don't know how.
I can bury it for a while.
It comes back and hits me and I stress again.
I have noticed recently that I have no 'confidant' , I find I end up talking for long periods of time to strangers about nonesense just to be heard. Yet I can not connect with anyone on a personal level.
It's just difficult.
I think I expect too much from people.
They think they get to know me. Then it lets me open up.
And the whole me comes out.
It scares the crap out of them.
They either respectfully back away.
Or disappear.
Either way.. here I am.
Just me.
A
I think I just figured out something.
I have to read this tomorrow. .again and again.
' Ding. '
To those of you..the ones that tried.
SORRY!
To those that backed away..and those that disappeared..
Thanks.
I hope you think about this.
Probably not. Can't expect too much.
Just thanks.
To You that made me decide to leave.
I see what you did . I know what I had to do. I did it. Stop asking me to change my mind. We were both right.
Done.
Hmm.
Things happen for a reason.
That is why I write about it.
Maybe I can learn something.
R
1/19/17
I have delayed doing much. No cash. Other obligations.
I have a deadline.
We got instructions about when the changes will begin.
I have 40 ish days. Ticking.
But during that 40. I have to be at work next week. Then I have to be at work the first Sunday in February. .Superbowl.. so time is short.
I probably should just take a few days off. Stay home..maybe paint the livingroom.
I was asked tonight to drive out and pick someone up and bring them to Denver. That would be a fantastic 4 or 5 day drive! But its winter. Not everywhere else is gonna be 55 degrees tomorrow. Most places wont see those temps for a few more months.
It is tempting. I could squeeze it in between next weeks weekend and the superbowl. Weather permitting. Maybe not..too close..it I hit bad weather and was delayed a day I would not be back in time.
Maybe after the superbowl.
Then of course that would strand my young adult home with no transportation. Not gonna work.
See how this keeps happening!.
Stuck.
I could just fly somewhere.. and fly home.
Just time and money.
No where near enough time used.
Stay-cation is probably the only way to get it used.
Or not at all and kiss it goodbye for now. Just wait for the next available vacation to kick in.
Which I will have 5 less days and probably will have the same trouble using.
Such a delemma.. I am sure I should stop bitching about it and just go skiing by myself take 4 day weekends till summer.
I should figure out if I sell everything I can, re-mortgage the house, take the cash out to kill the creditcard bills and payments, pay off the parent and student loans. Giving up all equity in my house.
This would delete all of my monthly payments except mortgage, car ins, utilities, gas and food. Leaving roughly $2000 a month in bills and plenty left after my monthly pay. I could just start over.
If .
Hmmmm.
I would be a lot less stressed.
My kid would be debt free.
I would possibly be able to save some money. Then vacations would not be such a chore to do. I would enjoy them and not have the clean-up after.
I have had that thought to keep paying In until I chose to move..sell and use the equity and profit to get a home where I needed to be..not here.
I don't see that happening.
I took a wrong turn somewhere.
Taxes this year will not be as good as last year.
Working one less job. So no benefit to rely on there.
Now have a roofing bill added to my bottom line.
So any gains I made on my credit bills.. negated.
Damn hail..
Plusses and minuses.
My home is worth more and insurance is less.
So mortgage should drop now that more is going to the principal.
But only half way.
If you were wondering about my state of mind..
This is what I have been dwelling on for the past 4 or 5 months.
Every day. Almost all the time.
Nevermind the normal things I stress over. Just add to it all.
My relationship status or lack of. My young adult problems.
My daughter/mother issues. Financial. Work. Bills .vs income.
Worry that I may at any moment be out of work.
Decision regret.
Yet here I am.. plugging away.
I don't know how.
I can bury it for a while.
It comes back and hits me and I stress again.
I have noticed recently that I have no 'confidant' , I find I end up talking for long periods of time to strangers about nonesense just to be heard. Yet I can not connect with anyone on a personal level.
It's just difficult.
I think I expect too much from people.
They think they get to know me. Then it lets me open up.
And the whole me comes out.
It scares the crap out of them.
They either respectfully back away.
Or disappear.
Either way.. here I am.
Just me.
A
I think I just figured out something.
I have to read this tomorrow. .again and again.
' Ding. '
To those of you..the ones that tried.
SORRY!
To those that backed away..and those that disappeared..
Thanks.
I hope you think about this.
Probably not. Can't expect too much.
Just thanks.
To You that made me decide to leave.
I see what you did . I know what I had to do. I did it. Stop asking me to change my mind. We were both right.
Done.
Hmm.
Things happen for a reason.
That is why I write about it.
Maybe I can learn something.
R
1/19/17
posted from Bloggeroid
No comments:
Post a Comment