It was work related.. and needed.
Got out of the office and rode some dirt roads.
Saw some turning aspens..
Of course .. pondered..
My life is absolut -ly great!
Yes pun intended... as I sit here and drink a 'craft' beer...
But it is Wednesday... I paid my bills thru the weekend..
And decided to venture out.
Monday... I realized.. was her Birthday..and why she was out.. just strange she was here..not there... this is not close to home...
Anyhow.. good thing I didnt say 'hi'.. because it should have been happy birthday. .. actually.. back then..that was the ender.. I wished her happy birthday a month early..and because of circumstances. .she said...
'It's not my birthday. .its next month... don't talk to me again'.
All I said is ..' as you wish'.
I figured out later why... but was unable to explain.
So it was done.
A 5 yr old friendship.. gone.
You know.. I slept terribly the next two nights .. I know it bothered me.. I dont like loose ends...and I want to be liked by everyone that has been a part of my life...people that matter.
I have those that think I will never forgive... or those that are looking to find that one thing that will 'drive me away'..
Depending on where you were in my life.. you may..or may not be able to do that..
As I have always said ... if you want me to go away.. you have to tell me.."go away" . The previous is an example..
I always demand a reason.. but if I dont get it..and i am told to 'go away'.. I will.. it will bother me to the end of time... but I will go.
Dont hint.. say!
If you don't know.. say so.. don't just cut me off..and make me wonder...
The one's I have loved..that never gave me a reason.. an explanation.. are ...
Unfinished.
Don't just go away.. I won't forget.. I won't forget you..us..
It pains me to live this way. I never want to end unfinished..end bad..
But it has happened so many times..
Some respect it... explain why..
The best..
' If I continue.. I will fall in love with you.. I'm not ready for that...'
I have the ultimate respect for you. (If you still read these.. yes YOU)
You allowed me to let go.. and it didn't hurt so bad.
Thank you!
So.. the other you..that reads this..
You never did explain
I don't know.
I want to.
I know I wont.
Just don't keep pushing me away.. that hurts.
Like a slap in the face
(Edited.. text removed..)
Gee this beer tastes good..
I am sitting here listening to a guy making time with a woman at the bar.. he saw 2 women at the bar alone..and appeared and sat next to them.. and is on his way..
Yes.. I am jealous.. that I cannot ..have not..never learned how to do that.
I think..it is too late for me.
Shut up.. and drink your beer.
R
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posted from Bloggeroid
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