Yep..it is.
Been Staying home. No where to go.
Need a drive..but got to find a destination.
No where to go.
Got some chores or tasks to do..
That should keep me busy..just need motivation.
I have some parts on order..and should be able to knock some stuff out.
Had a meet up scheduled today..but the bad weather scared everyone away.. I went anyway..just incase someone came out.. nope.. just me.. so I made the best of it..drove across town and then went grocery shopping.. cause it needed to be done. Then home and chores.. laundry, dishes, lunch... some repair work..and a lot of nothing. Dinner..and then out.. but a quiet out..
Going home early.. and probably just to sleep.
Even ISTBA is bored.. I need to fix this.. change something..
Really need a second job..so I am busier.. and then..
July will be here..and I can escape.
Not really overly excited about this trip.. I was..but its taking too long..and I am me..and will need a total attitude adjustment before I go.. of course travel..will help.. getting out there..and driving.. even alone..is better than being home.. and I will have somewhere to go..and be.. like last time.. it will be better.
Come on July.. I need this.
Ok.. so I think I can persuade someone to hang out.. I just need to come up with something to do. Today's attempt was weather restricted.. she is a lot like me..and will talk herself out of what ever is planned.. and then decline.
But..of course money and planning is limited for now.. and interest wanes from day to day..
I need to figure out if it is going anywhere.. so far .. no.
But I should not give up... but I cannot control how they react..and know they have anything issues.. who dont these days.
I am never enough..or the right one ..or at the right time..
Or not the one approved by everyone else.. even when approval isnt required.. but is.
I dont have much else..so I should keep trying.. nothing is handed to you..nothing is easy..nothing is given..earned..
Kinda.. self defeating.. but it keeps the mind from giving up..
Hope.
Life tends to give you a swift kick..everytime you get happy.
And reality.. yes reality, makes sure..you dont get too complacent..
No reason to get comfortable. .or happy.. for too long.. if so.. you are just not paying attention.
It isnt meant to be easy..or simple.. no matter how long you have been doing the day to day.. no matter how hard you try.. or how right it was.. it isnt.. no surprize there..except ..almost never an explanation.. just done.
So those few times you can figure out why it isnt.. those have to count.. because most times.. you dont ever figure it out...
You know.. if I was a different person..I could understand.. it would make sense.. but I am ..me.. and dont get it.
I thought that somewhere. .it would be plain .. obvious..
Yep..your doing this wrong.. you should stop that..you will be happier...
Nope.
Not me.. I am.. who I have always been.... even after all this time.. still just me.
Not finding that one person that needs ... that guy.
I am so right for so many..but never the right one for the right one.
What to do.
R 4/17/16
Been Staying home. No where to go.
Need a drive..but got to find a destination.
No where to go.
Got some chores or tasks to do..
That should keep me busy..just need motivation.
I have some parts on order..and should be able to knock some stuff out.
Had a meet up scheduled today..but the bad weather scared everyone away.. I went anyway..just incase someone came out.. nope.. just me.. so I made the best of it..drove across town and then went grocery shopping.. cause it needed to be done. Then home and chores.. laundry, dishes, lunch... some repair work..and a lot of nothing. Dinner..and then out.. but a quiet out..
Going home early.. and probably just to sleep.
Even ISTBA is bored.. I need to fix this.. change something..
Really need a second job..so I am busier.. and then..
July will be here..and I can escape.
Not really overly excited about this trip.. I was..but its taking too long..and I am me..and will need a total attitude adjustment before I go.. of course travel..will help.. getting out there..and driving.. even alone..is better than being home.. and I will have somewhere to go..and be.. like last time.. it will be better.
Come on July.. I need this.
Ok.. so I think I can persuade someone to hang out.. I just need to come up with something to do. Today's attempt was weather restricted.. she is a lot like me..and will talk herself out of what ever is planned.. and then decline.
But..of course money and planning is limited for now.. and interest wanes from day to day..
I need to figure out if it is going anywhere.. so far .. no.
But I should not give up... but I cannot control how they react..and know they have anything issues.. who dont these days.
I am never enough..or the right one ..or at the right time..
Or not the one approved by everyone else.. even when approval isnt required.. but is.
I dont have much else..so I should keep trying.. nothing is handed to you..nothing is easy..nothing is given..earned..
Kinda.. self defeating.. but it keeps the mind from giving up..
Hope.
Life tends to give you a swift kick..everytime you get happy.
And reality.. yes reality, makes sure..you dont get too complacent..
No reason to get comfortable. .or happy.. for too long.. if so.. you are just not paying attention.
It isnt meant to be easy..or simple.. no matter how long you have been doing the day to day.. no matter how hard you try.. or how right it was.. it isnt.. no surprize there..except ..almost never an explanation.. just done.
So those few times you can figure out why it isnt.. those have to count.. because most times.. you dont ever figure it out...
You know.. if I was a different person..I could understand.. it would make sense.. but I am ..me.. and dont get it.
I thought that somewhere. .it would be plain .. obvious..
Yep..your doing this wrong.. you should stop that..you will be happier...
Nope.
Not me.. I am.. who I have always been.... even after all this time.. still just me.
Not finding that one person that needs ... that guy.
I am so right for so many..but never the right one for the right one.
What to do.
R 4/17/16
posted from Bloggeroid
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