Here we are again.
End of another year, another decade.
I will try to see if I can quantify..
I wont go back 10 years..
Just read my previous posts..
You will see the reason for this blog..
Life, family, relationships.. Loneliness..loss, gains, and a lot of making the best of all that it is.
In the past 10 years, I have done a lot, met a few people that were..are..important to me, I have always tried to be my best..like everyone else, I have fallen short on occasion..
Although, I have done what I must.
This past year, I have continued to do what I do.
I have lived with being alone. In a familiar but different place.
I have reconnected with an old friend..and old love..
I know what that situation means, I can accept it.
I wont be totally alone.. But, it will be just me and L here.
L"s birthday is close.. And she has no plans to leave and go off on her own. Life this week is testing her, and I am doing what i can to support her.
I have visited, and enjoyed my visit, but.. I want to visit again, but I am not sure if I would be a burden or a relief.
I am reminded the goal is to travel..
Could, should..
I need to ask.. Then plan..or not.
Yes, I'm in the place, where I second guess, and try to decipher what I experience..
Usually not at all relevant.. Usually way off the mark..
I end up making it worse..
I know this yet I always do it.
I should slip back into the mode..
Just work, home, work, home..
And so on..
Pay off the bills, build my equity..
Don't think about loneliness..
I am too old for all that high school crap..
Just, adult.
The recent changes, have made communication difficult..
I appreciate all..any..
I want more..
Unfortunately I do not think I showed that ..in person..
I was just happy to be ..there.. Nothing else mattered..
I know I have to stay in contact.. And hope all is OK.
I know how not to be..what everyone else was..
But, it is a fine line.. Between there and distant..
Really fine..
I need to have a conversation..but connectivity is poor..
So, I just need to touch base always..often..as I can..
Maybe I will see.
Yes, here we are, the edge of 2020..
So many possibilities..
One last thing..
JANUARY will bring a few dates..
And I have reached out..
Maybe I will be forgiven.
Maybe not..
Happy..happy..
:)
and 143.
R
End of another year, another decade.
I will try to see if I can quantify..
I wont go back 10 years..
Just read my previous posts..
You will see the reason for this blog..
Life, family, relationships.. Loneliness..loss, gains, and a lot of making the best of all that it is.
In the past 10 years, I have done a lot, met a few people that were..are..important to me, I have always tried to be my best..like everyone else, I have fallen short on occasion..
Although, I have done what I must.
This past year, I have continued to do what I do.
I have lived with being alone. In a familiar but different place.
I have reconnected with an old friend..and old love..
I know what that situation means, I can accept it.
I wont be totally alone.. But, it will be just me and L here.
L"s birthday is close.. And she has no plans to leave and go off on her own. Life this week is testing her, and I am doing what i can to support her.
I have visited, and enjoyed my visit, but.. I want to visit again, but I am not sure if I would be a burden or a relief.
I am reminded the goal is to travel..
Could, should..
I need to ask.. Then plan..or not.
Yes, I'm in the place, where I second guess, and try to decipher what I experience..
Usually not at all relevant.. Usually way off the mark..
I end up making it worse..
I know this yet I always do it.
I should slip back into the mode..
Just work, home, work, home..
And so on..
Pay off the bills, build my equity..
Don't think about loneliness..
I am too old for all that high school crap..
Just, adult.
The recent changes, have made communication difficult..
I appreciate all..any..
I want more..
Unfortunately I do not think I showed that ..in person..
I was just happy to be ..there.. Nothing else mattered..
I know I have to stay in contact.. And hope all is OK.
I know how not to be..what everyone else was..
But, it is a fine line.. Between there and distant..
Really fine..
I need to have a conversation..but connectivity is poor..
So, I just need to touch base always..often..as I can..
Maybe I will see.
Yes, here we are, the edge of 2020..
So many possibilities..
One last thing..
JANUARY will bring a few dates..
And I have reached out..
Maybe I will be forgiven.
Maybe not..
Happy..happy..
:)
and 143.
R
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