Next thought...

This is the next thought..

If you know me..even by only reading this blog.. Here is another..

I read the last post.. It was great..but I do not remember writing it..
But.. It was on my mind..
So... I posted it.

One of my issues is I do not think I am enough of a Dad for my young adult. I never know how hard to press.. I suggest..I hope she sees it..but I can be obscure.. I wish I had some outside help.. But I am on my own.. Still learning.. How to say..what to say..how to be..
She isn't complaining..but is not making any effort.
I need her to help...pitch in... So I am not doing it all..but I ask..suggest but not much help..
Currently been working long days.. And still coming home..and cooking..cleaning...and such..
Not getting any help.
Totally my fault.. I never pressed the issue.. Yet..here I am..enabling her..and not being happy about it...
But.. I take some blame for it.

All of this.. Makes me wonder .. How to fix it..how to change it..
She is 22..
No where near where I was at that age.
But..this is a different time.. A different generation..
So.. Here I am... Feeling.. As if..I have failed..
This was not supposed to be a one parent job..
Yet.. It is all on me.
I just do not know..

I try to be what I think a good dad should be..

But.. Often I feel I am just not hitting the mark..

Sorry my girl.. I wish I was able to provide what you need...
I hope I haven't failed too bad..

That is the end of my..lament..

I will keep trying...
It is all I can do..

R2/09/18