This day

I realize..
I either have to be alone..
Settle for what is..
Or strive for what could be.

Alone sucks! It can be done..and has ..
Settling..never lasts long..
Striving for what could be..should be.. is never an easy road.
Time shows that the effort usually is worth it..
But, never a guarantee... sometimes..its is chasing a pipe dream.. (see previous posts for that definition).

Me... as the foolish boy I am..will never settle.
I always end up alone..chasing the what could be.
Sad but true.

I figure this year is nearly half over..and I am stuck where I am. For a bit longer. But..

If I am going to be alone for this second half of my life.. I will change..
I will change alot. I will be different..remade.. those that knew me will not .. either want to or realize..
It has been decided. . It is.

This is the only way I will survive the next ...

Where I am..ended up.. is not ..in any way where I was supposed to be.

My mind..has scenarios..untested..not proved.. options if you want..
Changes that should have been..a life that could have been..
I missed the mid-life crisis.. now.. here I am.. here I go.......

Plan..make it happen..

Roscoe lives.

So...lets see if I will go through with it.. plans have been there ... a long time..

I can. I could. I must.

This will be the only warning.

I have nothing.. nothing to lose..

Sorry to those that are..have been .. on the edge..
Time is running out...

Tick tick tick...

Not a bomb.. a point.. turing point.
New beginning..

It is time.
I am just hurting me..here.now.. doing this.
Change will remove the doubt and insecurity. . And need ..

Time to rethink..start over..take what I have learned and apply it..
.

Is it time..
Time to wakeup?

...

R
5/24/16

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