Phase 2...

Here it is June 2020.
Tomorrow starts the Phase 2 re-opening  process.
Hotels, restaurants and some retail.

We still have protests.. less riots.. Summer is coming and there is no where to go.

Too many of us have been locked down in our homes or in our small circles.
Some have been able to work though this, but after the work week is done, there is zero opportunity for stress relief. Mostly isolation and trying to find things to do.
Being alone or alone with the same people does not help.

I feel for those that have not been able to go to work for the past few months.. I am sure they have serious cabin fever or stress, adding to the fact that they have had little or no money coming in..
I can see why they are joining any rally to protest or even riot, just to burn off all the excess energy or frustrations..

That being noted.. who am I to complain that I have to go to work, get paid , and be alone when I am not working.. ??
A different stress.. it still must be handled... managed..

It has been more than 6 months since i have gone anywhere.. Plans that were made are now more than postponed or cancelled, they are obliterated.
I have no where to go, no one to see..
I want to go.. anywhere, but where..
it is just too soon.
will it ever be the time again?
I think I may have just ended up.. in this place.. this frame of mind..
because it will never be the same , never be better than  what I have right now.

sad.

If it gets any worse, I am not sure what to do.. If the changes stay the way they are.. or only change back a little, I think we are in for a rough few years..
My past 6 months have changed.. my attitude, and ambition is very different than 3 months ago.. and I am seeing many mistakes..
Some I can fix, some not.. I know there are some I have not even noticed yet..

I have no adults near my age or mentality to confide in.. I did... but they are out of reach or gone, or on the other side of that burned bridge..
or trapped in a place that has little or no steady contact.

Summer is nearly here.. and the country is in a grip of this post pandemic/protesting/craze..
No where safe to go or be beside right at home.

Well, I will keep plugging away.. work when I can, get my chores done when I dont work... See if I can find a friend to listen..converse with.. listen to..

Hope for change, and some form of normal..

be safe..

R