Planning days..

Hey! Dont slack.. If you are thinking about planning..for future time off.. Ask for it now, before someone. Beats you to it..well it happened... I picked a date..and the other guy was requesting the days i was thinking about...
So, i requested 2 weeks in july.. For a road trip..
I know the dates..but i dont know where.. Till i do..i wont know the extra days i will need to go to or return from...
But, the placeholder is requested..

Next.. Since the close date is gone..so, choose the next.. The timing is key.. I looked at travel..the week before i want..has cheap travel.. If i slide it a day this or that.. I can save.. But to utilize the time to its best.. I end up with 6 days, returning on the day before the black-out day begins....if it gets approved.....
All other planing depends on approvals.

I lost so much time last year.. I want to make sure i dont this year..

I did dump my cable, and bought a firestick..and got xfinity internet only.. $90 cheaper..than the crap i had before.
The return process was painful..

I have lots of radio work coming in..need the time and mental aptitude for most of that.. But it will get done.
Some easy, some not.

The planning is the tough part..
What should i do??

I am in this place.. And i am trying to figure out how to continue.. I think i am comfortable .. I am not..
Un-comfortable..
I think I am ok.. But one never knows..
I want..
I need..
I guess i will find out...someday..

Things to do this year.. Ski, travel, rally,.. Visit...
Plan.......

Yeah, I need to pay down the bills
But that will always be what I do..
I need to live.. And that makes bills

So.. Do I need to ?

Yes, I am reluctant..But I am going to go..and it seems that I will be received..and maybe I can.. maybe not.
I will see.


Tomorrow is a coverage work day..
I work from 3 to 11 P.
That means..leave my house at 1p, get home at 12a..
It is what it is.. I still have Monday and Tuesday home..
Chores.. And sleep.and such.

..
Sometimes things happen..and a person has to think through the options it presents.
Time to reassess look at the future possibilities.
Many things would, could work.

In the essence of it all..
I would be happy with knowing someone is there...
Knowing I am part of something .. That we both could rely on.. Each other.. Know we are loved. .. Appreciated..
As I get older.. I see the differences of what I think I want, and what I need.. Mentally, spiritually, physically...
Some parts more than others..

I think I found this out too late in my life.

Many things change over time...
Perceptions..feelings..

Love, in all its facets..is a constant, one that morfs and changes over time..
Yes, we have that difference of being 'in love' and loving someone..
I know, sometimes we are in love..
And it turns into..just loving.
But, it was
It can always be....

But.. Can it be..?

Time..will tell..
Else, I will be here..
Where I am..have been..

Am I allowed?

I have feelings..
Do they matter to anyone but me?

Not so far..
No one..

I have always considered others feelings..
And forgot me..
It often hurt..

Yet, here I am.
Not sure if I can.
But I do..
So..
Figure out if I am worth it...

I cannot ..

You know, I am still alone..
Unfortunately it seems I have been, all my life.

Truth.

R