as always.. questions in my head

Before I lose my thought...

I have always had unanswered questions.... I wonder...

Why cant people be real? 

What is the reason for the games? 

I understand the tests... Real and imaginary..I understand criteria and requirements... You have to have standards. 

I also understand no one our age is new at this. Most people have been misled and hurt. So, you have to be careful. But where does it end? Does it ever?

Can someone really be too good to be true?  How long do you wait? 

How long do they wait?  

Unlike most, I dont keep looking when I have located my interest..

Im fixed on it, till Im told to give up, go away, or you are wasting your time...so there is no one else for me to be interested in..not looking. 

I think it may make me appear desperate.. in reality Im just fixated. I always want it to work.. otherwise why would I even try.. sure once in a while it goes easy... Very very rare, but if there is mutual attraction, then why should it be difficult? 

Find the things that we like together..and work on the rest.

I have lived through a few things, I have an idea of things I dont like. I know things I dont want to be part of..there are few things that are definate no's..I think I am fairly open minded. I am not afraid to try new things.. I feel I know a little about a lot of things..and I am always ready to learn something new or try something different.

I can bring new things to the table too.. 

Generally, I just want to spend time with them, do what they want to do. Just be with them. Helping them get things done, or just taking them away from the regular day to day and spend time together. 

The last thing I want is for them to have to work on my behalf.. hospitality is one thing, but I don't want to be a burden.. I want them to have fun with me..not think that they have to wait on me when we are together.. 

I think the average person cannot grip that they can provide all I need by them being present.. they don't have to do anything. Just be with me.

....

Well that took a path...

Anyway .  I am worried. I do not know what I can do next. I hope I am on their mind...they are always on mine.

I decided to stop being a pest.. all it got me was hopful and generally disappointed..

I dont know where we are. 

New years was great ..but it has slipped back into limited contact..

I have personal things happening...right now...and would love to have someone to share it with...to sound off with..help me work through it.. but it is just me.

No one to tell me it sounds sketchy..or that it is the right thing to do..

Just me ...

....

R