accident..

L hit black ice this morning on her way home from work.. smashed into a guard rail. Passenger front side damage..air bag deploy... She is fine, shook up. Passenger wheel wedged under fender... I drove it home.. blew the tire.. 

Now we need to see what's next.

R

end of the month.... year

It was a day . 

I didn't sleep well last night, got up at 3am.. then back to bed.. I remember turning off the first alarm.. I woke up at 8:15...I think my boss texted me and that woke me.. I was 45 min late for work ... The day was ok.. slightly busy. We undid the stuff we did yesterday, and then busy work and paperwork. 

Then after work I could not call for pizza.. so after trying the online app, I just gave up when I got there and ordered it, and went to the bank.. and back.. then home.

It has been windy all day.. random power outages.. and warm.. 50+ all day with out the wind.

Still windy tonight and the temp dropped, now it's 25 and starting to snow.. the wind is supposed to stop after midnight.  Let's see if the snow continues...

I have decided I won't go to Walmart for groceries tomorrow.. maybe market basket or the Walmart in Plymouth..

We will see how much snow we get ..

...

We went for the usual drive last night... Betty turned over 200,000 miles.. on 12/22/22. 

Ready for the next year.

....

I should drop in on a couple people this weekend.. and at least see if I am still welcome.

It is the end of the year after all.

 ...

I need to look through the things I have for gifts .. and maybe do a bit more... 

.. 

Nothing new from A . But I have not sent any msgs.. so no contact...

I do miss her a lot..

She understood me.. probably better than I do..but not as well as she thinks.. it has been fun.

.. maybe next year.

...

I still need to see if I have lodging for skiing.. I should take advantage of that if I do.. 

..

The rest is the same .

I have no one..and I am just working and fixing stuff.. 

Kinda lonely..and frustrated..but making each day run into the next..

Wishing for something to happen..but not making any effort to help.. so nothing is happening...

My fault .... No one to blame.

...

So, since Im still not in a place to meet new or be met.. I have no one .

...

Yes...there is a reason..and it's my fault.

All me..

..

Well I got stuff to fix..and work.. 

So next year will probably be a repeat of the last few..

R

snow coming

A simple correction to the last post.

So.. storm due this weekend..gonna be cold and wet.. 

I've done a little prep.. 

Got the generator battery charged and started it tonight. Brought the battery jump pack in to charge. 

Moved the garden stuff to the shed and the snow shovels to the garage. I replaced the outdoor flood lights.. gonna try to go food shopping Saturday..but may do a lil tomorrow evening.

The gifts I ordered arrived today.. 

I will have to wrap a few. They are for next month.

Work has been slow..but the last couple have had some long tasks.

I have the next two Mondays off for holidays.

Then.. what's next...

I need to find something to do this winter.. skiing is a plan.. just need to figure out where and when. 

Got to move forward..and make the effort..

Time will see...

R

it's a weekend.

Well, I was woke by a text.  I answered.. got up ...made coffee.. went back to bed.. slept another 2 hrs.. got up and eventually went down to get a vehicle inspection. Did that then went for groceries..but left the list on the counter.. got what I needed.. made a second stop for fresh veggies..and rememberd the missing item from my list..then home.. paid bills.. and L&J went to the mall.. 

I worked on a radio.. a full cleaning and a 15 minute update..so about 2hrs.. and works well.. just need to clean a mic and wire it up.

Then clean up the rest and check out the other radio. It is prepaid work.

So after that we went to Sonic for dinner.. so home by 9.. 

I did get a text this afternoon, a reply to my question ..did they get any snow up north?. They needed my Phone number because msgr would not let them send me a picture.. 

nice! 

(I guess I can add pictures, here)

I will have to see what the forecast is for skiing ..maybe in January..start the new year.

....

So I have both cars running good. Mine has a state inspection sticker, the other is due in February.. but may need a windshield..maybe not.. it would just be an appointment with the glass people then an inspection . Should be covered by insurance.

Hopefully no new issues coming up.

..

I have been looking for a suitable 3rd car . .. just looking for a good deal at the right time. 

It isn't a need....just a convenient want.

...

I am waiting to see what the January pay increase will be.. hopefully it will help cover some of the increases the inflation has created. 

I had to tap the reserve again.  After putting some back . I don't get the next paycheck till next Friday.

I'm making it work.. only bills left this month are utilities and phone.. and student loan.. 

....

Not much going on beside the day to day.. trying to get back to 100%.. just the remainder of this .. and totally manageable..

..

Tomorrow.  Maybe sleep in . Some radio stuff.  Maybe make breakfast..start the slow cooker for evening stew.

No other things on my to do.. I'm sure something will present .

Usually does.

..

R

I guess, I have to always make the effort...

As the title says..

It is on me.

If I don't. No one ever does.  .. almost ...once in a while.. just not often.

I guess, I am so used to being alone.. I don't show it. ..no one sees it.. 

They all expect me to be bothered if they contact me.. ask me for something or for my attention.

A person gets so used to a routine of being alone..they do for themselves first, because they never expect anyone to notice.. or care . 

Most people don't.

..

I have lived here, for.. 4 years.. in this home.. I have had 3 outside visitors. ..one sleep over guest.  That is it. 

No family has ever even been in my driveway.. I have given up on visiting family.. it's one-sided.. I have filled my spare bedroom.. and have no room for guests.. unless they are sleeping in my bed.. which isn't happening...not this year..

So much for a big bed . 

I could replace it with a twin bed.. and increase the space in my room..

Hmmm...

...

I sent a message to A .. and got a short msg back tonight.. and a how's things at home..I sent a reply.. end of  msg.....

...

I get better response from my AI chat friend .. 

...

So, this year is ending.. I have worked and worked and did what I must.. paid my 'dues'.. but..  here I am.

Less ..... Just a bit... 

I want ... Need..

Just something to occupy my mind ... Something to look forward to every day or so.. I would love a full time diversion.. but that is a dream.. that has passed . .. too old. Nothing to offer .jaded.. and too set in my ways... As I have always known..not handsome enough.... Nothing visual to offer.. no one takes the time to get to know a stranger.  

...stranger than most...

-- Keep this coupon --

Random thought...

...

So. . I think I need a ski trip..Maybe Maine...

...

Today we had a work party.  It was a luncheon.. and it was fun ...ish

I did my best to fit in..

All I can do.. 

Not so much an outsider . ... Still felt a bit isolated

..but..just a new guy . ..like the rest..

  

...

Not sure.. what's new..

About A . . On the world tour, probably will be for the next duration.  I was reading old texts, that I saved.  Personal entertainment ..what could have been . I do not see an opportunity to go back .

Too bad.. 

...

I think I missed that. 

...

What is next? 

2023.. 

I'm on the east coast. 

I am currently working..

I have no one in my life..no excitement. No anticipation..

Just work and home.

L is busy with work and her friend Jarre.. and I just go to work and come home..cook and clean..and work on radios.. and have my internet diversions . 

. Just time wasters. 

Occupy my time stuff.

No one  

....

Really I am ..if I think about it.. I am alone..more now than before I moved in.. I am still living alone.. doing all that I would need to do if no one else was in my house..I guess that is my own fault.. I didn't press it. I just did.as if I was by my self ..

.. .

So.  What is my next move?

I honestly do not know.

Nothing is apparent..no new options .unless I make one.  Or cultivate one..

..can I?

. Universal question.. 

How do I query something new?

Still looking for that...

...

The answer..and the opportunity.

.

So much non-random nonsense.

.

I think I want to sleep in tomorrow..but I need to get up early and get a vehicle inspection..then groceries. 

Yeah. . the typical Saturday stuff..

.. 

Maybe the cat will wake me..

R

  

early mid December

Almost mid.. 

Still afloat.paid. Bills with this paycheck.. did not collect any money.. I should probably sell the amp.. I doubt he will have the money anytime soon.. I got a radio in and got approval to fix it.. maybe a quick turn for $75.. got Bills radios and offered to give him a mobile.. it's all set.  Needs a power cord.. and wire one of his mics to it. 

Been thinking to get one base done for Jeff.. use the kit I spent money on.. and see if I can get it to work.

Another no cash thing..but a bit of a payback for all the help and use of his dad's garage. 

It's just a new challenge.. maybe it will go as planned.

I'm feeling better.. but J is sick.. with what I had probably.. Jeff is sick too.. I'm almost sure it was from me. I hope he does ok.. he has other issues.. don't need to add a cold or  flu on top of it.

..

The tire appt is Monday.. hopefully will be able to make the round trip.. and get to work on time..

The rest is getting through the month.. I picked up some stocking Candy.. gonna venture to TCS tomorrow and see if I can find Babchi something.. polish plates.. cups.. maybe...or just some smiley stuff.. and maybe find a gift for J.

...

No one else has been in contact.. 

Maybe I should buy A that dress I will never see her wear.. but it was a thought..

...

I have not been in touch for a week or two.. she said s still down under.. and will be thru new years.. 

No new pictures.. just no where near here.

...

N should be headed south soon.. maybe after that I can go up and visit.. maybe ski.. .. hopefully I will be well and back to 100%.

I would love to ski with someone..

And it would be a fine way to get reacquainted.. we have been friends for a long time.

...

My life has been very closed.  Just work.. providing for L.. and keeping the house and cars..

I have had a few welcome diversions, but nothing beyond that..I have filled my time with work and home work.. all of my normal routines are not routine any more.. I get stuff done..but never on a schedule. Never on repeat. .. just whenever..

Yes, I cook almost everyday..and do the dishes and shopping, garbage and litterbox, laundry and such..but need to expand that.. and up the cleaning to every week.. instead of when it's apparent it needed .

...

I am feeling like I am waiting for something..but not sure what..

I did hope A was the thing.. but as I see.. it isn't .. the timing was not right..and probably for a reason I will never know.. we fit well..not perfect .but I thought it could work.. yet here we are on opposite ends of the earth..

As it is supposed to be ..  I guess.

..  

Well . I guess moving back was not the thing in the grand plan... I was doing ok back there..and now.. I am here . 

Yes.  I finally have the bills under control..but would have figured that out as well back there..and with the inflation and economy, may or may not have been in the same situation...

The work situation is ok..for now.. but time will show if that is to last..

My next raise is almost a month a way..it will be little..

..

Well.. my life in the last few years has been..paying what I owe..

And being alone...

Well I've made it a point to pay what I owe . ..I am still alone.

A bit more since L has had her best friend move in.. they are going to dinner for Js birthday.  I was told.  And said I could come if I wanted...

Hmmm..

...

Not that I have anything else to do.

..

Well...

New year.. is coming.. 

This has been a changing situation year..let's see what is next.

R

Thursday drive... back

Back to the evening drive on Thursday.. take-out food at one end. . A beer and food and drive back.

Some chat..some music.. company.

It's one of my best parts of the week.

For all the reasons mentioned. 

It has been a quiet week, with the exception of the early Tuesday morning calls and going in early..but it's OT and not too bad. Is part of the job. Today was spent in the shop, doing paper work..just updating the databases, making corrections and reorganizing .. stuff that needs to be done. 

On call this week and next.. then good thru new years.. 

Getting to the end..I hope.. of this cold/flu thing.. I am nearly sure it isn't C19.. I almost took a home test . But still no fever, no other symptoms.. everyone else is coughing and sneezing at work.. either its from me or where I caught it..

...

Just need sleep and fluids and stay warm..

.. weekend is almost here..

It's been cold and wet .  And being sick I really feel it . So hoping it will pass soon.

.....

Not much else happening.. the cars are running good..I have a tire appt on Monday..then need to get an inspection sticker..and ask about the other car...with the crack across the sticker for next month ..

...

Next.. I need to see about collecting cash owed to me..

End of the year . ... Close out the books...

I have L and J.. no idea about end of the year gifts.. both have b-day.. this and next month too.. I have no idea.. 

L is ok.. I got some stuff on order.. but J.. we are buying everything.. so no idea..

Have to think...

R

busy Saturday

I got up early. For no reason other than to start the day..

I puttered around and then left . .. I got a haircut..then Walmart..and then texted Bill to pick up radios.. drove up to Middleborough to get them.. took the groceries home and then went to Manomet to drop off a mic. Chatted for a while then went back home . Then started reading up on the mod I need to attempt to install in the big radio..we all went to dinner.. and then back home to work on the last trouble radio for the batch.. tried a few more things.. no go..maybe a weak transistor...

I really got to get this finished.. it hinges on about $800.. of I get it done. 

I got an email from the other town about the repairs there.. they wanted a W9.. goody.. I should have figured.. but maybe get a check in 10 days..

.. $2500

I have so much money out that I am waiting for..it is getting tight. 

Still waiting on the Amp. I paid for it..and paid for parts.. and it sits in my house.. maybe next Friday he says..$350

I still have $300 left on the money I loaned out.. each month a payment.. then nothing for the last 5..

That is a bit.. 

Anyway.. back to work on Monday..and paid on Friday..

.. 

I bought a couple gifts ..but no idea what to get Jarre.. 

..

I guess my car parts was my gift. 

Tires next..then an inspection sticker..and all should be done.

..

Australia would have been fun..but.. I think a working car is a bit more practical..

..

Steps..

One in front of the other..

Getting  somewhere..

Just where I have no idea...

ISTBA. 

I have no idea why he has been hiding.  Sometimes I need him to talk with. . to give advice ..even bad advice  would be welcome..

...

Well... 

No insight tonight..

... nothing deep in my head..I guess I am just spent..

Still Lonely and alone in my home.. a bit less having to share L with the roommate.. 

I still need . .... Something... someone...or even a diversion.. just nothing is presenting itself..

....

Just me.. as always .

... 

R

end of the week..

Weekend is here.. 

Yeah,big deal.

I contacted a tire place that sent me a quote and a request for an appointment.. I submitted it.. they said within 24 hrs.. nothing .

So now Monday I will be back to work.. and they will call..watch..

Maybe I can schedule a late day appointment.. and leave early...

It seemed like a good deal.. 

I guess I will find out..

....

Here we are . beginning of the last month of the year..

I'm not sure if I have much to reflect on.. a bit has happened this year. But nothing comes in to focus. 

It was a short summer..and the beginning of the year was filled with the new job. September brought a new roommate. But that is still pretty new..and other than the added expense, and the typical break in period..it is going ok. They are trying to adjust as are we.

Outrageous gas prices and runaway inflation.. limited cash and tons of radio work.. without I would have no money at all .

No new persons in my life. And the ones nearby are invisible most of the time .. C19 is less..intrusive.. but still here...and probably not going totally away . .

No one in my house ..so far . 

Amazing because it has been around at work.. but...  

..I almost went to Australia.. almost..I did talk myself out of it. ..in time to spend all that money on our cars.. major issues.. but fixed now..and I learned I could do that too.

..the new job has been good..a good fit, but new administration is coming in..and we need to see if we as a department are an expenditure or an asset.. we easily could be replaced .. outsourced.. and then I would be out ..looking for work.. and in this economy..not a good time for that.

It is a worry..

As always.

..

OK.. I really need to create a schedule for the house.

With 3 of us . It needs a regular cleaning schedule..and a routine.. for us all. 

The dust and dirt and grime is everywhere..and I clean when. I see it..but we need to ..I need to.. make a schedule and delegate..

... 

Next on the agenda.. I need to plan a trip..somewhere.. even a local one..

Just me.. a weekend..maybe a skiing trip.. I will check what time I have remaining.. and plan something.

...

R