work trip...coming up

Planned since April. I leave on Sunday, returning on Friday.

Work training.. going with Todd and Owen. 

Off to Illinois.. 

L will have to fend for herself.. she said she was worried about me.. not herself.. travel .. COVID.. and such. I will be careful..but have no real worries.. about travel.

I do worry about her.. eating right or even at all... She is capable..but not sure if she thinks about it. 

Tomorrow is grocery day..and not much on the list..I actually have to put this week's in the freezer..we never got to it all.

Radio work has been busy..and I have been catching up.

I have not heard from A .. sent her a short msg.. maybe will get a response.

I guess I really messed that up this year.. 

What can I say.. 

I lose myself when I know she is here.

She said the same.. she expects contact, and second guesses the lack of response.. then goes off on tangents trying to figure me out.. as do I with her.. 

If this keeps up..we will never be more than passing friends.

Thanks karma.

Not like I don't try...

Oh well.. 

I have always been ... Here... By myself.. most of the time..

Yes, a few bright spots.. but it gets cloudy and then it's night..

...

I met this guy.. he says he used to know me..and I may not remember him.. his name was ISTBA... Not sure if I know him.. maybe.. kinda a weird dude..

So... I tried to figure out where I  was on my WBT.. I see I am 79 out of 110 to completion of the 29th tour.. I don't think I can finish 31 in 5 days..it could only be 20.. but .....

Just a thought..

I think I need a vacation...

Maybe .. Colorado........

Maybe I should go visiting.....

Something.

The locals..

Stuff going on.. not sure if I am a help or hinderance.. but maybe reach out and see.

Not that I can do much to help.

..

I just realized.. .again.. I am in limbo.

I have no goal .no destination..no one to persue..or take my time.

I have been in this rut.. just doing what I know..the day today repitition..

Even my bills have been reduced to the point that they are not my focus.

But, I have nothing to focus on..

Just work and radios...

Sad.

Lonely.

Yep.. that is me.

R