Decisions.......

Well here i am..
Where I was.. since November..
I am doing the required things..
I have plenty to do each day.. somethings i want to get done.. some i know i have to get done.
I still have unemptied boxes .. i need to create some place to empty them to... small projects..
I did move to my desk.. ran cables.. made things more functional.. i took advantage of the nice weather to get the thermostat replaced..
That project is complete.
Now i need to get tires for my car.....
Eventually...
I m taking days to use that carryover time used.. i decided on every Tuesday giving me long weekends all month.
Yet..i am home..and basically alone all day.
Projects and tasks are all i have.. i try to sleep..but i cant mess with my   sleep schedule..too much..
And i have responsibilities.. yes.. i paid all my bills up to next pay day..
But..  i am doing what i need to..

I need to look through my schedule.. work schedule.. and see when i can plan my next road trip.
I need... need ... a road trip.
I need time to drive..and process all that i do..
All i need to get done..
It seems to be overwhelming..
It can be..
But i am going and working..and hoping to be .
I know i have separated..how ever unwillingly..
I am alone.. and dont see much change in my current future.

I guess i did it to myself..inadvertently .. maybe ..on purpose..
But.. i accept that responsibility.. it is me..my choices..my decisions..
Caused me to be here.. in this place.. here in my life..

Oh i miss human interaction.. being around people i can relax around..
Others that get me..or at least understand where i am.

But.. no..
I made this choice..and knew it could go this way..
And i did.. and here i am.. less connected every day..
More to what i did not want.. but now  where i am.

It could be worse..

Good night.

R 3/18/19