Made it..

I covered my last overnight on Friday. I worked late too.. finished what i needed to get done this week. I worked a regular day on Saturday.
I am also done using my vacation time up..so back to the regular shift Tuesday.  I still have stuff to get done at work this month.. scrap some metal.. and find someone to buy the big power supplies.. and start cutting out the plumbing. Less than 30 days to do all that.

I bought the shelf wood i needed.. and since i was up early today..and the weather was nice.. i got all the wood cut.. next to stain it then start assembling.. it will be nice when its done. Then i can empty the last of the boxes in my dining room. Plus i will have accomplished a thing..

We stayed home today.. i had an Idea for a summer road trip.. and started the process .. it will be nice if we can do it.
Just something to do.

All the rest.. just the status quo .. still just work and hanging w L.

She likes her new bed, and i will be setting up the spare room once i get the frame squared away.
I got one repair done.. almost done with another..one more to finish..more on their way..

Other than work.. no reason to leave the house.
The seasonal seafood restaurant opened this week.
We had our first meal there on Saturday..
Also it was almost 70 today.. so spring is here..

My life lately has been really quiet.. get up..work..eat..sleep repeat.
Hopefully the weird shifts are done for a while. But i do need to burn some overtime in April.. and July.. but after that, if i still have a job.. i will be planning a vacation.

Yeah..i am skirting around the stuff weighing on my brain.. but..i cannot dwell on the stuff i can not change..
And lately..i cant change much.
I am still getting used to.my house..and what needs to be done.. a new season..and new things to experience..  like i need to figure out where my sprinkler heads are.. think about mowing the lawn.. and a fire pit..and..stuff like that.

All new and different..

R 3/31/19

Weekend

Its my weekend..
Slept past 7.. went back to sleep..got up and made coffee and breakfast.. started the slow cooker..did laundry and took a shower.. started working on a radio..and L asked what i had planned for the day.. i mentioned geting some tools and a new frame for her bed. So we went shopping..
Got some dinner. Got home emptied the slow cooker, cleaned up and put together my new saw..
I need to get some more wood for the bookshelf and start  cutting it up
I can finish that one radio..maybe start the next.
I also have to fix the antenna on my car and tuck in or reroute some wiring.  Stuff to get done..
Probably end up sleeping in..

I just have tomorrow.. cause Tuesday i need to get to sleep early for my overnight shift on Wednesday morning..i need to be up by 1:30a to get to work by 3am..

One more week..

R

Schedule

This week and next has been weird. Tuesday off.. 3AM start for Wednesday. Meaning up at 1:30a out the door by 2:00a at work by 2:45a work till 11 or 12..drive home.. pass out for an hour or two..cook clean and try to sleep to do it again..2 more times.. the  Sat.. shift all an hour later.. leave early on sat..go get my chipped windshield repaired..

Got another week.. of earlies then back to normal..so this week..working on the stuff at home.
Bought L a new bed.. bought stuff to build a bookshelf..a few more and some tools tomorrow..
Got a few radios fixed..a few more coming.. i wish it was steady i could retire on the bit it makes.. but  never steady, piecemeal...

I have ordered the city gas conversion..the day after my propane tank was refilled.. i hope to save a bit after it is all done.

We had rain and snow this morning.. the drive was ok at 3am. The sun came out and it warmed up to the mid 40s.. by the time i headed home..

My phone has been acting up all month..i finally realized it was the memory card.. so..after backing it up..and trying to wipe it.. i decided to get a new one and start over..
So far so good..
I lost a lot of pictures..but better now...

I have been isolated..even more this week.. personally and at work..doing the early mornings..and sleeping the daylight away..
Having to try to sleep early.. yet get stuff done. Yet.. no one to talk to.. just me most of the time.

I dont think its gonna change anytime in the near future..

Yep..my fault.. sorry..

Not sure where i was going with this..
Just inner loathing..

I really miss having someone to talk with..to be around..
Just feeling alone..

I wish i wasnt the wrong type of guy..
I cant be the jerk they all want..
But i am the jerk that they end up pushing away and hating..

You would figure after all this time and experience.. a person could figure  it out..
I guess i am just not that smart..

R 

Decisions.......

Well here i am..
Where I was.. since November..
I am doing the required things..
I have plenty to do each day.. somethings i want to get done.. some i know i have to get done.
I still have unemptied boxes .. i need to create some place to empty them to... small projects..
I did move to my desk.. ran cables.. made things more functional.. i took advantage of the nice weather to get the thermostat replaced..
That project is complete.
Now i need to get tires for my car.....
Eventually...
I m taking days to use that carryover time used.. i decided on every Tuesday giving me long weekends all month.
Yet..i am home..and basically alone all day.
Projects and tasks are all i have.. i try to sleep..but i cant mess with my   sleep schedule..too much..
And i have responsibilities.. yes.. i paid all my bills up to next pay day..
But..  i am doing what i need to..

I need to look through my schedule.. work schedule.. and see when i can plan my next road trip.
I need... need ... a road trip.
I need time to drive..and process all that i do..
All i need to get done..
It seems to be overwhelming..
It can be..
But i am going and working..and hoping to be .
I know i have separated..how ever unwillingly..
I am alone.. and dont see much change in my current future.

I guess i did it to myself..inadvertently .. maybe ..on purpose..
But.. i accept that responsibility.. it is me..my choices..my decisions..
Caused me to be here.. in this place.. here in my life..

Oh i miss human interaction.. being around people i can relax around..
Others that get me..or at least understand where i am.

But.. no..
I made this choice..and knew it could go this way..
And i did.. and here i am.. less connected every day..
More to what i did not want.. but now  where i am.

It could be worse..

Good night.

R 3/18/19

Mid March2019

Well hello!

Thanks for stopping by.

Sorry..not much going on.
Just boring ole me..
I started this post today..without the intention of bitchin about anything.
I have been thinking about people my age..people i knew.
Someone who i used to me close to..many years ago..nearly died.
She is younger than i and probably a bit more fit.. but her heart attacked her..and she has been in hospital for the past week..thankfully recovering.
But something like that makes you think..about your own mortality..

I do what i can to live healthy..but..it may not be enough.. sometimes it just is what it is.

I decided yesterday that i would move my workdesk up to my bedroom because it has been too cold to work down in the basement.
Also i need to add a network cable..wired connection up to L's room..so i will drill the holes and run cable and add wall boxes and jacks..so i may as well run the antenna into my room.
I will need to rethink the desk..but can make it work for now.

I may as well do that..so i can spend time working at home when im not sleeping or cooking or cleaning..

I have been trying to explore a bit ..around the area looking for places to revisit this summer.. but..i will need to plan for the MINI rally.. maybe  L and I can drive each car.. and just have a great time.

There is MTTS and MOTM..and MOT.. .just have to plan and schedule.
I wont be planning a trip to the east coast this year..lol..

Maybe a west coast trip..
Probably just work and stay home..

I had a few great topics..earlier this week.. totally forgot what..

I have 4 day weekends all month.. using up last years unused vacation time.. no real plans just short drives around. .and days to sleep past 7a..

I know i have faded into the shadows..no one trys to find me..no one contacts me.. my friends.. avoid me..my family ignores me.. i am invisible at work.. and the car clubs are too quiet..
I had a few people in CO that knew me.. here.. no one want to..
I was gone 16 yrs..and tried to keep in touch..but.. now..

I was told that someone close to me was thinking that they didnt want to be my friend anymore.. and that is what happened.. i tried..for a couple months to stay in contact.. but as it was only one sided..i let it go.. i have it in writing..all i did..all we were..was done..over.. i was told i didnt respect them.. so they didnt want to be my friend..
So i went.. i had no option.. but to take care of me and mine..just walk away.. i tried to reach out and stay friendly..  but it was to little..
It did not help.. so..now that i am 8 miles away.. i have less contact than when i was 2200 miles away..

My 1 year anniversary of moving here..is close.. my life has completely  changed several times.. my daughter has forgiven me for putting her though these changes.. the good and bad.. and she will move on.
I finally have completed the tasks that were holding her back..so she can try to create a life for herself..

My work has not changed much .. yet.. the new corporation is formed..and  changes are imminent.. new equipment will be arriving next month..and i will be busy.. hopefully the road trips can happen around the launch..maybe after..

We will see..

Still just me.........

R 3/11/19