New week

OK.. A busy weekend.. Up early each day..got to MINI.. Spent time w/L
We ate well. I got a bit done as well.
Work was quiet.. And we had Daylight Saving time..
Sunday night.. Ugh.. I didn't sleep well... I was up..and got called by work.. Gave the work-around while I was getting dressed.. As I was turning off the TV.. I noticed it was fixed... I called back.. And .. Yep it was fixed.. So.. I got back into bed..4:15 am.. And went back to trying to sleep.. Alarms at 6:00.. Turned off.. Up at 7:30..rushed and got to work on time..tired but on time.
I got tasks done.. And had a conference call at 10:15.. With positive results.. So says the email..
I was leaving at.. 6.. And decided to check the gate.. And turned it on.. Let's see if I get a late/early morning call...
I am anxiously waiting..for positive.. Options..
I'm not ready..but can be.. I know I can be.. Ready for the things I need to do..to.. Move forward. ... For me.
The bids are in for 2. It may be enough..
Falling into.. 'It is time'... 'Things are falling in place'..
One can hope... Tomorrow is another day...
Let's make it count.

This week..has been a bit of reminiscing.. And recognition as to where I was...and where I am..and where I think I need to be..
Just a short reality check.. For me..
My changes .. Are for me.. Just me..
I have no one but me and my offspring.. I need to do what works for us.. I cannot do for anyone..if I don't do for us first.. That is how I have been planning.. If it ends up..that L is happier...I will be too...
I am secondary .. It is what a parent feels is their job.. Make it work for the children...help them get started..and let them shine..

I am too old to chase my happiness.. I missed it..my chance.. So all I can do is hope I can help mine.. Figure out how to be happy.. Learn from my failure and success.. Know how to identify their happiness..

Yes... I know now.. We do not always see..or understand.. Our happinesses...till they have passed.. That 'sieze the day' stuff..
If you don't.. You end up.. Seeing the opportunity.. Long after it it has passed.. Not that it is gone.. But now it is much harder to make it happen.
So.. My advice.. Is grab what is in front of you. No mater your age..
You cannot go back.. And hope you can.. Because usually you can't.
Passed you by..missed the chance.
Then.. All you have is memories and used and regret.

But.. Sometimes.. You can..try again.. If you get the chance.. Do not hesitate.. Trust me.. Don't.

Hugs to you all.

R 3/13/18