Sometimes I feel like shouting this..
I feel unimportant .. ignored.. lost.
My family has written me off years ago...
I have given up on trying to be ... what ever they need me to be..
I am me.. always have been.. I was more me than they ever were..
Yet.. I am here..
I go.. they are accepting.. limited judgements. . But.. never come...
It sucks that I am not a destination... yet I make sure to visit .
So.. if I move.. I do not think I will say...
It don't matter.. we are an island.
Just lost and lonely..
That is what I deleted from my page... it was a bitch about being in a place for 15 years.. that no one ever visited..
I have an open home.. open to all.. I have only had 2 people come..not family.. one was kidnapped.. but.. was here..
I feel shunned.. but always welcomed.. when I visit them..
Which I do if not for me..for my kid.. who really does not know anyone in her family.. no connection.. none..
A lot like my childhood.... no connection..
I have made connections with lost cousins.. so close for so many years ..
I just cannot figure out why.. no one has said..
So.. maybe I wont tell anyone when and if I move..
Sitll kind of pissed .. but.. it is what it is...
I have a phone call tomorrow. .
Lets see what becomes of that..
If it is meant to be..it will be offered..
R 3/16/17
I feel unimportant .. ignored.. lost.
My family has written me off years ago...
I have given up on trying to be ... what ever they need me to be..
I am me.. always have been.. I was more me than they ever were..
Yet.. I am here..
I go.. they are accepting.. limited judgements. . But.. never come...
It sucks that I am not a destination... yet I make sure to visit .
So.. if I move.. I do not think I will say...
It don't matter.. we are an island.
Just lost and lonely..
That is what I deleted from my page... it was a bitch about being in a place for 15 years.. that no one ever visited..
I have an open home.. open to all.. I have only had 2 people come..not family.. one was kidnapped.. but.. was here..
I feel shunned.. but always welcomed.. when I visit them..
Which I do if not for me..for my kid.. who really does not know anyone in her family.. no connection.. none..
A lot like my childhood.... no connection..
I have made connections with lost cousins.. so close for so many years ..
I just cannot figure out why.. no one has said..
So.. maybe I wont tell anyone when and if I move..
Sitll kind of pissed .. but.. it is what it is...
I have a phone call tomorrow. .
Lets see what becomes of that..
If it is meant to be..it will be offered..
R 3/16/17
posted from Bloggeroid
No comments:
Post a Comment