2015...

Tic tic tic..
Time is ticking away..
The year is coming to a close...

I really need to do a bit more..
Cement in a few changes..

Define a destination...no.. a starting point..
I need a point to launch from..

I feel like I need a direction..
A compass point to start the next adventure..
A starting point .. some place to begin my new journey.

I am still just here. Waiting for the next ..

Time again is not my friend..neither is distance..
Opportunity..is there..and not..
Age can be a factor..and sometimes the future can hinge on age.
I am not young any more..and that dont help..

Your Life can be filled with people and you can still be alone..

That is not where anyone should be when they get older..
But usually where you end up..

..

R 12/25/15

Effect

Memories.. reminders.. and what could have been.
Many times things dont work out as you plan..
Hell..most times you get the short end of the stick..
You end up making adjustments and changes to stay sane.
Sometimes .. you get reminders..signs if you will.. that envoke a memory..
And with that info..insight..you can figure out where you are.
It is nice when you actually see it. And can be nice when you can decipher it.. decrypt..what your subconscious is telling you.

Maybe you are thankful for the insight..maybe you can realize where you dont want to be..or realize you are glad you are not where you were.
That is one of the benefits of knowing how you got where you are..

Now just to figure out where you are going.

R 12/22/15

I am sorry

Yes.. I am sorry I cannot make what I feel more than obvious..maybe I do...maybe I dont.
I am ..
I feel..
I show what I have..and put it out there.
I need what I get..
(I am not greedy.... I need)
You fulfill...
I understand..
And I wait...
Distance..
I love you.
You love me.
Smiles.

R
12/22/15

Positive energy

Sending positive energy.
Get better soon.

R
12/21/15

Days and hours..

Each day has hours, minutes and seconds.
Some are longer than others..some are quick.
Some I would never give away..never give back..
Spending an amount of time that is meaningful..even in silence..
Is priceless. It can .. usually does... make a long day worthwhile.
It makes the mundane..or the stressful worth it.
That time is what makes my day.
The smiles..laughs..comfort.. it is all there.

Thank you!

This is the time of year where people reflect..and usually if not surrounded by family, are alone.. rarely a comfortable time.
To know you have someone there..even if not in person.. for you.. a voice, a feeling, a presence.. makes a huge difference in the day to day. It is a shared thing..it usually isn't one sided. Each person benefits..and the feeling grows and the smiles radiate.

A person is never more beautiful than when they smile..even if it is inside, the shine radiates in everything they do.. and spreads happiness.

There needs to be more happiness in this world.
The fact that one or two people can generate happiness..that is shared and can grow..is a magnificent thing.. we need to do our best to keep spreading it..
Have you ever met one of those 'happy people' the ones that are foolishly happy all the time.. its contagious.. even if its annoying..
You succumb to it..and cant help smiling and enjoying it.

Perma-smile..

A phrase a close friend tagged me with..when I was young..
I know I have it..and people notice..its hard to hide..and you never want to..

It is what people need ..not just this time of year..but all the time.

You make the smile come out..

Thanks!!

R 12/16/15

Mid December

Here we are..
Mid December 2015.
Lots left to do before the year ends..but I am proud to say I think I have accomplished quite a bit.

I am still holding it together..and feel I have one of the greatest friends in my life... we help eachother.. we feel eachothers love and rely on the companionship.
I know we make time for the other and can change a bad mood and darkness into smiles and sunshine!

Sometimes..its just listenening to the other explain their day..some times its grabbing hold and pulling the other back..and giving that hug that you both need. Sometimes its that heart or smile emoticon..at the right time..and everything falls back into place.

The nice thing..the really nice thing..is it works that way for both of us. Someone needs to bottle this.. it would fix the world!

I know i'm not perfect..and know life on a personal level can some times change things..but..I think, what I have.. what I am experiencing.. what I feel.. is the place to be..right now.
Most of my daily... yes, daily smiles belong to you.
You create them..you find them..you make me find them in you..
I have said I love to hear you smile.. cause I can hear it. And I know you can too.

...

Ok..
I (edit)..
I am your friend.
Simple. Matter of fact. No disputing that statement. (Try.. I dare you..I know you wouldn't)

It is December 2015.

2016 is a short way aways.. it has a lot of promise.
I see many options in my future. I have had a focus the past 9 or 10 months..not a plan..not a destination..or even a destiny. .just a place i would like to be..

My old friend..he must have taken a vacation..maybe found an interest and is enjoying his time off.. not worrying about me..because I have something to do..that dont involve him.
I must say..I dont miss him. I think he understands.
Maybe i'll get a postcard from ole ISTBA.. I hope he is having a great time.. I know I am!.

Now if I could just see my way to transport either me somewhere or transport someone to me..for just a few days.. I think the perma-smile would come back..and people would be wondering...

Ok..
I have a smile.. and no one can take it away...

Nite

R 12/14/15

Titling these things are tough..

Sometimes I want to post..but have no real starting point.
So finding a post title is not always easy.
I usually have a lot rolling around in my head..and the thoughts are fighting to get out..I find it difficult to focus enough to post a coherent thought..

I currently am thinking about my last conversations.. if you dont know this I always do that . Sometimes to a fault. Mostly with a smile. I love being able to open up and explain me. I can be more than just one type of person..because I care on so many levels.. I can see the ranges I am able to be the friend and more.. I do step back and see what is needed and move from there.
Friendship requires a person to be more and sometimes less ..
It is always good..the heart understands. .and it is not ever because the feeling changes..it is what it is in the highest form..even though I scale it back to a lesser form..lesser is not really the correct definition..it is less intense form of friendship..relationship... I am still me..I still care as deep..and realize I must not be so intense..

It does not hurt me..because I am still a 'friend' and the amount of caring doesnt change..it just appears to be different. It really isnt and it is never less it is enough. The feeling dont change..it is just expressed in a different way. The warmth is still there.. and the caring still comes through... I hope.

I know nothing is promised if it isnt defined.
Definitions are continents in themselves..and it can be difficult to commit if you really dont know where you are. Most of us dont know where we are minute to minute..which makes the day to day that much more elusive. It isnt a real problem..it is how most of us deal with what to do next.

Nothing is written in stone..

If your lucky, you can see where you need to be...and who you need in your life to help keep you moving forward.

Standing still is never the correct option..you have to keep moving foreward..
Someone I know compared it to standing in a river.. everything is rushing by and if you are not moving..you are left behind.
You can either go with the flow..or go upstream...but if you stand still everything keeps moving...everything changes..and you are left behind..if you move with you are moving towards something..if you are moving against the flow...going upstream..you are headed towards some destination..no longer stagnant...but have a goal..which is always good.

I dont know why that thread happened..but it was in my head..and now you have it..

So this odd titled post is here..
Till next time...

R
12/09/15

Psst...

I love you
Good night

December 2015

Well..I made it to December.
I can be thankful..
I know I am loved.
And I know I love.
I cannot ask for more than that.
Well..I can...but I should not expect more...
Many have less.

Thank you ..
You who love me.
I hope I show you the love I have for you.
If I do not.. I mean to...

I have never given love easily..if you receive it from me..
It is earned.
If you get love from me..you totally deserve it.

No question..

I do love you.

Prove it otherwise.. I dare you..!!

Smooches!!

R 12/02/15