Hello there!

Yes... you!
Ok..you have opened the door to my thoughts.
Welcome..
This is me.
This can be a scary, wonderful place.
I put things here mainly for me to read later to see what I was feeling at a point in my life.
For the most part it isnt a dark or harsh place.
It can be a real place. It can be a place of fantasy..or hopes.
It usually is just a place to 'brain dump' ... a place where I purge what is going through my mind.

Yes, I open my heart and mind to the readers of these posts.
But , its not a place of farce or lies..
You have read this year..and it was before I knew I mentioned this place to you..so it isnt planned or designed to skew a perception..
Its just me...

That being said..
And the talk we had before you visited this place...
Here I am....

You know how I feel...
Its really obvious..

Once again .. no pressure.. no agenda.. no advanced planning..
I am..Me.. here I am... you have my full attention.

My love, adoration... my friendship... forever.

I do not know what tomorrow or next week will bring..

I know, you make me happy.
I am happy making you happy.

I cannot change that..I would not want to... who would?

I could say so much..but I know you know. We have talked.
There is no pressure here.
I am content with what we have achieved. .this relationship. .
What it has become.. it has a future...
Again.. no pressure. .
Just know..
I do love you.. I do care how you feel..how you are..
I want nothing more than to be your friend forever.
Everything else is simply icing on the cake.

My expectations are (always have been) low..
ISTBA.is my reality check..he kicks my ass every chance he gets..
And does a good job..reminding me ..I have to work for my happiness. So I do.. I wont give up.
I have my threshhold triggers.. I wont be that guy... the one that wont let go..
Yes, I will agonize over my decisions and results..but I will get over all of it if it goes away..

But, know this.. (I have said it before)
I will never forget..or stop loving you.. you have a piece of my heart.
It is yours..and you own it forever.

What you choose to do with that piece.. is not mine to say..
Its yours.

If you ever need to talk openly with me..do not be afraid.. I am the same person always to you. You own My attention..and I will give it to you.

Yes, I have said similar things to others..and still believe I am the same man now as the one who promised that..so if that ever happens. . You will know why..if someone calls that card from my past.. it is who I am..

You know who most of them are..so it wont be as much a surprize to you as me if they play that card.

But... if you know me at all..you know I will answer that request as best I can..I would do the same for you.

I know from our conversation tonight...you maybe feeling the pressure of the distance.. and the stresses of the present situation.

I want very much for this to continue..for Us..to figure out what we need and where we will end up..

I know its too soon to know what our future is.
You have things going on.. and so do I..
I would like nothing more than to have you in my future....
But... I am willing to see where we go.. together..or not.

As you read in previous posts .. I am here to make you smile...

I love your smile!

So, if we get to that point where I dont make you smile..
Tell me....if I cant fix it, I will step away...

I never want to make you sad..or want you to suffer on my behalf.

All that being said..

I LOVE YOU!

welcome to my mind..and me!

(If this scares you.... lets talk. )

R9/2/2015

143!