Been a while.. just too busy.
I forgot how much time goes into trying to have a relationship and working 16 hours a day. So.. of course I think I am failing at that.
You can only hear .."I know you work hard and are busy" ,
so much before it sounds like.. ' when are you going to have time for me?'
And to top it all, my friends are asking....
Without asking....
Can we get back together?
Can you come visit?
Can I come visit?
Can I move in?
(Mind you... none of this has been said directly... just inferred)
I have received some apologies..and been told they realize how badly they treated me in the past... and how they would like to make it up to me.......
Some have voiced how miserable they are, how lonely they are... how neglected, unloved, mistreated... etc... again not to me specifically...
I am of course torn.. it sounds so wonderful... I can rescue someone I care about.. but at the expense of my current relationship that I am messing up anyway....
One friend I would just like to show that they are not as alone as they think.. another is a friendship from long ago..and would love the chance to have an adult relationship with... we are so much alike...a third, needs someone like me.. but will probably rip my heart apart when the grass looks a bit greener...somewhere else...
So much for adulthood. . Just a bunch of grownup teenagers.. with many times the baggage.. not all bad.. but baggage none the less..
I just have to keep saying.. dont mess this up..you know you can.. it would be easy...
Later..
R
3/10/14
I forgot how much time goes into trying to have a relationship and working 16 hours a day. So.. of course I think I am failing at that.
You can only hear .."I know you work hard and are busy" ,
so much before it sounds like.. ' when are you going to have time for me?'
And to top it all, my friends are asking....
Without asking....
Can we get back together?
Can you come visit?
Can I come visit?
Can I move in?
(Mind you... none of this has been said directly... just inferred)
I have received some apologies..and been told they realize how badly they treated me in the past... and how they would like to make it up to me.......
Some have voiced how miserable they are, how lonely they are... how neglected, unloved, mistreated... etc... again not to me specifically...
I am of course torn.. it sounds so wonderful... I can rescue someone I care about.. but at the expense of my current relationship that I am messing up anyway....
One friend I would just like to show that they are not as alone as they think.. another is a friendship from long ago..and would love the chance to have an adult relationship with... we are so much alike...a third, needs someone like me.. but will probably rip my heart apart when the grass looks a bit greener...somewhere else...
So much for adulthood. . Just a bunch of grownup teenagers.. with many times the baggage.. not all bad.. but baggage none the less..
I just have to keep saying.. dont mess this up..you know you can.. it would be easy...
Later..
R
3/10/14
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