Continued

Her reply was it isn't and that's what I wish. Goodbye.

Well I guess that is it. No chance to explain.. just goodbye.

These past few days I've lost a loved one in death and a friend. It looks like neither will come back.

One was totally out of my control...
The other was just my fault.
Being stupid... trying to be cute.. trying to be someone I am not. Playing a game..
Stupid. I'm just old.. and alone.

No point in trying to fix it.
She was looking for a reason and found it.

We all wish we could be someone else sometimes. To be able to say or do things we would never do.

But its always a bad idea because we turn off those things that make us who we are.. and become someone else.

I cannot pretend to be younger, because I am not. Its just wrong.

I cannot pretend to be sexy.. because I'm not in real life.. I'm no ladies man..im to inhibited, scared if you will.. I could not pull it off.

ISTBA.

but I do it to myself..because I deserve it.

R