Istba. I am not sure if i am getting anywhere. I try, but I don't know if it matters. Did I try to lay the groundwork and mess up my chances. maybe trying to be "non-commital" is keeping it aloof.
I can't seem to say what I mean. It comes out wrong. Mis-understood.
Probably too late to go back.
Maybe its cause I don't know what I really want.
I don't want to make the same mistakes again, had enough of that misery...each time...
Is it so hard to convey, that all I want is to be wanted and needed, reciprically... got to be mutual. If not, its gonna flash and burn bright for a moment and be gone. Waste of time.
Getting too old for that..and the bright light hurts my eyes...
I think my living situation is hurting my 'availability' but I think it is doable.. the right person should be able to see past it.
...
Tired.. going to sleep...
R
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