Holiday week December 2020

 So much for a slow start to this month. Here we are already the 22th.. 

Last week was a regular work week, the end of it had 2 early starts.. because of computer issues at work. 

I did get things rolling on Sunday to get the part in on Monday, my day off, for someone else to get it installed and back  on line.. So I guess I did my job.. I am taking the rest of the week off to use up some of my remaining vacation time.  Which with the timing and my regular schedule, I will have about 8 days off in a row, only using 4 Vacation days, with a paid holiday in the middle.

Since the Holiday has been cancelled here at home, I will not be doing much.. 

I did deliver a couple of the gifts I bought to M and D, and had a nice visit with M. It was very nice to chat with another human, and the hugs were good too. Yes, no social distance required. I hope M understood, I do not hold any bad thoughts about the past, and truly miss the chats and company we had. It was mentioned, the we had talked about everything, what would we talk about now?.. well, Everything else! We didnt seem to have any problem, there is so much going on in the world and in our worlds, it is nice to chat with someone that will listen. Here we are.. we should be able to not act as if we were 2000 miles away..

I am to blame for my own self isolation, and the pandemic has little to do with it, It certainly doesnt help, but I have pretty much given up on finding new friends and my old friends dont seem to care. Again probably my fault, for not keeping in touch and such.. Now with social restrictions, pretty much everyone is keeping to themselves.. and what ever small circle they have. I get that, but I dont have a circle any more.. unless you count L and the cat.. 

So, this week,  I need to do some looking around, and finish a couple radio things. Then prepare for 2021.. as best as I can..

Good news is 2 of my Brothers have got through their separate turns with the Covid19. Both are doing well. That is a relief. 

Anyway, that is it for now, 

R 12/22/2020 

Up late..

 I guess I can, because I dont leave for work till 2PM. So if the cat lets me, I will try to sleep in a bit. 

He has been worse than an alarm clock, wakes me up at 6am if I am still in bed.. and is persistent as a snooze alarm..  

Anyway I got a few things done tonight, and now I am getting tired, Its 1:42AM.. I hope to hit the pillow and sleep. It has been rough falling asleep, lately, even when I have had a full busy day. The brain wont shut off.. and my pillows dont hug me back..  :(  

Well, I will do what I can to get this week started.. and figure out early meals and such. 

December seems to be getting a slow start after the blur of November and October.. 

Well, I made it past my birthday, with no fanfare.. a single card in the mail and a hug from L that morning.. and a friend got me lunch, which we ate on the back porch.. and that was it. 

 

My car needs service, I need to go to the eye doctor, the cat needs to go to the vet.. I will try, but I dont expect to complete all of that before next year.. 

Well that is it for this, 

good night.

R 12/8/20

is 2020 over yet... will it matter?

 Interesting thought..

No I do not think anything will automatically switch back to normal. I think normal is a a long time away, and will not look like any normal we remember.
That being said, we need to find what works and make it our new normal. Stop just going with the status that we have been given and make the adjustments to our lives that will allow us to begin to feel comfortable with the new normal. Yes, still being safe, but returning to our lives, so we are actually living again.  

It has been months since I have done anything but work and home and sleep. Not that that is very much different than my normal, but the restrictions to my daily thought, and routine are there.. and that is what weighs the most. I know I cannot just go visit, when I am lonely, I cannot just get in the car and go somewhere there are people, so I can go  and not feel alone..be alone.. I used to do these things. I know I cannot now and if I do, I am not allowed to be anything  but distant.  

I know people that are done, and dont even try to restrict themselves, and frankly, I dont want to take that chance.. too risky..  I catch myself sometimes, even now, forgetting the protocols.. But quickly am reminded or remember.. and I make sure I continue with the safe practices. 

I have had 2 family members that I know are careful, end up with positive tests, So far one has recovered, the second, was just notified.. neither live nearby, and I have seen neither in the past 4 years.  I am hoping the best for them, and those around them. We have had people at work test positive, and the proper protocols have been in place, so no one was in contact, and their areas were sanitized.  

I have been reasonably careful,  although I must go to work and do the shopping, so far every thing has been ok.  L has had a few scares in the beginning, caught a cold and monitored her symptoms and even in the beginning took a test, but all negative.. just colds.  

Still, I am feeling the length of the time that has passed without anyone beside the cat to talk to.  Yes I see L for short periods, but mostly just around dinner time. Our days off do not cross paths except Tuesday's , and lately with the holiday's and time off, I have been covering shifts and moving my schedules so much, we almost never see each other.  I just had 4 days off, and saw her less than when I work. My other friend has been gone almost a month, but we saw less and less of each other the month before that, because of work coverage schedules and exposure scares.. that it seems like that they have been gone longer, and of course, now the contact is less and less as well due to limited connectivity.

Again, feeling very lonely, most of the time.  This coming week, I am working another coverage shift all week plus 1 day. This shift, I will be mostly alone, unless something breaks or someone needs something.. so 6 nights of work isolation in addition to sleeping most of the day, and driving the rest to and from work. 

Even having someone to talk to or chat with would be nice. But , I dont see that happening much. 

So, Hello December 2020.. 

R 12/7/20