Really not continued.. just no more to really say.
I am trying to keep on going each day, one day at a time.
I have bee caught up in my day to day... the days are moving along.
It is nearly the end of July. I have been going in this mode for so long with no real milestones, I am blurring from week to week. I am paying my bills and buying my food. I usually plan and monitor my finances week to week, by the bills I have coming due and the money I have coming in.
I am fairly routine about this...Usually.
I forgot that I got paid last week! ... Forgot...
I paid bills, and planned on paying the next due bill.
Then looked and noticed, even though I was up to date, I had little available cash in my account for the next round of bills.. after balancing and reconciling my check book, I realized I last entered a deposit on July 2.. it was the 23rd!
After checking, I found my paycheck was deposited on July 17..
This never happens, I keep close tabs on my finances.
I did not realize the pay week had come and gone.. it was a blur.
I know, not a big thing, but I need something to help me mark the passage of time..
I have nothing to look forward to, nothing to look back on, the past few months have had minimal notations.
My weekly contacts are minimal. Just the 3 guys I see daily at work and my daughter, that I may get to see Tuesday's for more than 20 minutes. No one to talk to, in-person, on the phone or even on chat. Even this blog has suffered.
I have not been able to have anything to say..
No insights, no new complaints.. Back to limbo.
It is a weird feeling.. I don't think my brain is quiet.. I know I have much to say, Just no way to squeeze it out of my fingertips..
Well, I have a week off from work next month.. Lets see if I can get anything done..
I don't think I can go anywhere, So I will probably be sticking around the house.
Maybe work on the cars, the yard and the house.
This year has left all of us in a weird place.
R
7/25/20
Saturday, July 25, 2020
Thursday, July 16, 2020
MId-Month
Time is flying by.
I don't seem to be getting anything done, at least nothing to gauge it against.
Alone most of the time. Gaining weight, not having much of a summer. Work, eat, sleep..repeat.
I have been trying to get some motivation to do anything, but it seems like it dont matter much.
My grass at home is nearly all dead. Weeds have taken over, and where they are not, what was there is burnt. I pulled some more weeds tonight, and transplanted a small tree..Lets see if it will grow.
I have been trying to fix radios, and the car, and other things, but nothing is working the way it should. Work has stagnated to the chores that wait till there is nothing else to do.. Cleaning and organizing.. recycling light bulbs and old video tape... The boss says we will be in this Virus mode for the next year, and the Capital money has to be re-evaluated for this year.. So very limited new projects to work on.
I did put in for a week of vacation time.. no plans, just trying not to loose all of it.. I would love to go somewhere, or have a plan to do something, but I dont.. Lets see what happens.
My hair is incredibly long, the longest it has been in my entire life. Now that barber shops are open, I am not sure if I want to get it cut.. Its still unruly most of the time, and its thick and hot, but I may keep it for a while longer.. We will see..
Well, I thought I had more to say, but not.
Keep doing the thing we do, and maybe this will all be over soon.
R
7/16/20
I don't seem to be getting anything done, at least nothing to gauge it against.
Alone most of the time. Gaining weight, not having much of a summer. Work, eat, sleep..repeat.
I have been trying to get some motivation to do anything, but it seems like it dont matter much.
My grass at home is nearly all dead. Weeds have taken over, and where they are not, what was there is burnt. I pulled some more weeds tonight, and transplanted a small tree..Lets see if it will grow.
I have been trying to fix radios, and the car, and other things, but nothing is working the way it should. Work has stagnated to the chores that wait till there is nothing else to do.. Cleaning and organizing.. recycling light bulbs and old video tape... The boss says we will be in this Virus mode for the next year, and the Capital money has to be re-evaluated for this year.. So very limited new projects to work on.
I did put in for a week of vacation time.. no plans, just trying not to loose all of it.. I would love to go somewhere, or have a plan to do something, but I dont.. Lets see what happens.
My hair is incredibly long, the longest it has been in my entire life. Now that barber shops are open, I am not sure if I want to get it cut.. Its still unruly most of the time, and its thick and hot, but I may keep it for a while longer.. We will see..
Well, I thought I had more to say, but not.
Keep doing the thing we do, and maybe this will all be over soon.
R
7/16/20
Sunday, July 5, 2020
Half Way
It is July 2020..
It has been a very strange year. The pandemic has restructured our lives. Many things have changed, some things are still the same.
I have not had to make too many changes, but the few things I used to rely on for my sanity, are either not working the same way or are no longer available.
Seven to eight months of daily contact has dropped from several hours to a few minutes to sometimes just an emoji. I am not sure if I have pulled back, trying not to over do, or make the isolation changes more evident..because they are... cancelled travel plans and availability, on each end. Some of that is finally changing, hotels are opening again, airports and airlines are going to be more available. Now just need to see what plans will be made.
So..something to look forward to..
I just wonder if the overall attitudes have changed, including my own. I don't think so, but a lot of that depends on how I am received going forward...a friend at arms length? ... I sort of expect that.. Not what I want, but I have history of that track..
Fine, I can if I must. I didn't let 35 years matter, should 8 months and a viral outbreak be any different? Again, I don't think it is up to me, I don't think it is ever up to me.. maybe once or twice...
But only as the last resort. Sorry J and K... it went down that path and that was the decision that had to be made.
I am still going to work 5 days a week, with my odd weekends, and still driving the 110 miles per day to do that. The past few months have been really light traffic, but with the lessened restrictions and Summers arrival, traffic to and from has increased almost to the norms, not quite back to the worst traffic in America, but getting close again. Without my normal stress relief, not sure how much this is affecting my attitude. I have been reminded that I need to take some of my time-off..
If I wait, I will end up losing paid time off again, like last year, but probably more. I hate taking vacation time just to stay home, but with the travel restrictions still in place, probably for the rest of the year, that may be my only option. Sure, I have plenty of things I could get done, working around the house...even in the hot weather... Maybe if I took a week, I could actually do some of it...or at least have a really clean and organized house.. or at least get caught up on my sleep.
I will have to think about doing this, really. Of course I have to co-ordinate with my co-workers and with the work black-out periods... I think that gives me 2 months out of the next 6 that I cannot take time, then split that between the other 3 guys I work with.. it narrows it down a bit. Even for a 'Stay-Cation' .. Also since L will probably be working, Not having any paid time-off, I would be spending that time mostly by myself.. with no where to go.. at home.. Just me..
I think I see why I have been putting this off.
Maybe a few daily road trips, 8 to 10 hours to and from home..? For a week.. Hmmm.
Half way to the end of this year..
R 7/5/2020
It has been a very strange year. The pandemic has restructured our lives. Many things have changed, some things are still the same.
I have not had to make too many changes, but the few things I used to rely on for my sanity, are either not working the same way or are no longer available.
Seven to eight months of daily contact has dropped from several hours to a few minutes to sometimes just an emoji. I am not sure if I have pulled back, trying not to over do, or make the isolation changes more evident..because they are... cancelled travel plans and availability, on each end. Some of that is finally changing, hotels are opening again, airports and airlines are going to be more available. Now just need to see what plans will be made.
So..something to look forward to..
I just wonder if the overall attitudes have changed, including my own. I don't think so, but a lot of that depends on how I am received going forward...a friend at arms length? ... I sort of expect that.. Not what I want, but I have history of that track..
Fine, I can if I must. I didn't let 35 years matter, should 8 months and a viral outbreak be any different? Again, I don't think it is up to me, I don't think it is ever up to me.. maybe once or twice...
But only as the last resort. Sorry J and K... it went down that path and that was the decision that had to be made.
I am still going to work 5 days a week, with my odd weekends, and still driving the 110 miles per day to do that. The past few months have been really light traffic, but with the lessened restrictions and Summers arrival, traffic to and from has increased almost to the norms, not quite back to the worst traffic in America, but getting close again. Without my normal stress relief, not sure how much this is affecting my attitude. I have been reminded that I need to take some of my time-off..
If I wait, I will end up losing paid time off again, like last year, but probably more. I hate taking vacation time just to stay home, but with the travel restrictions still in place, probably for the rest of the year, that may be my only option. Sure, I have plenty of things I could get done, working around the house...even in the hot weather... Maybe if I took a week, I could actually do some of it...or at least have a really clean and organized house.. or at least get caught up on my sleep.
I will have to think about doing this, really. Of course I have to co-ordinate with my co-workers and with the work black-out periods... I think that gives me 2 months out of the next 6 that I cannot take time, then split that between the other 3 guys I work with.. it narrows it down a bit. Even for a 'Stay-Cation' .. Also since L will probably be working, Not having any paid time-off, I would be spending that time mostly by myself.. with no where to go.. at home.. Just me..
I think I see why I have been putting this off.
Maybe a few daily road trips, 8 to 10 hours to and from home..? For a week.. Hmmm.
Half way to the end of this year..
R 7/5/2020
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