I am.
ISTBA... you may have failed this time.
You have tried your best..and I think with time I will prevail.
M is good for me. And I am good for M .
D will see that this is good.
Learning and growth and understanding will all come with time.
Distance is my foe. And it can be lessened and made to not matter at all. Technology...my friend..my tool..my slave..is helping me. I am taking full advantage of the tools I have at my disposal.
I did not set out to find love, it found me.
I had no agenda...just a simple purpose. .to help a friend with loss and grief... and here I am..happy and accomplished.
The happy is a by-product..and it makes me smile... grin.. infact.
I am so happy to be able to bring light to someone who was so dark and alone.
I did not set out to go beyond a friend..but love sometimes happens when and where you are not looking.
Of course there are issues of going where I should not.
'If I was a friend I should never let this happen...I am taking advanrage..' 'vulture' ... and many other phrases come to mind..
I did love my 'Brother'.. and am sorry he had to leave..
I do love my 'Brothers' family.. I wish I could take away their pain..
I wish I could help them deal with the loss of their husband and father..if it was within my power..I would return him to them.
I miss him too..
But. Death in our lifetime is forever. People need to be allowed to heal..and for the survivors.. the living.. life must go on.. if just to spite Death... we may be able to see them again..in the future..but they would not want us to be miserable..and shut down..and lonely..
They would want us to never forget them..but would want us to be happy..to live our lives..and continue.. to live.
Yes, its sad..and we the living morn the loss...but they are free of this life and unless they were selfish and uncaring..would want us to continue..be happy..and LIVE..
It is not bad that we can move on and continue and love again..
It should be that way..
That is why we learn about relationships...when we are young..the pain the loss.. the feeling that we cannot continue without that last love... and then we grow..and realize.. it is not the end for us..we grow and learn to deal with the loss...and another comes into our life and we can be happy again.. it is preparing us for real life..
We lose our loved ones..grand parents..parents.. loves... sometimes friends and lovers..
We dont live forever yet... and death is a human condition.. the current end of the human condition..but is inevitable..and we the living..'survivors' have to deal with it..and continue..in spite of Death. Unfortunately... it is something we deal with more and more as we grow older..and will til we die ourselves.
We will loose friend and family..and people we care about and look up to..
You can learn to not feel..but we must..it adds meaning to our existance..why we do what we must..day to day..
If we never hurt or feel pain..we would not know happiness. .
You must have the dark to appreciate the light.
Lots of cliches..but. all true.
I am feeling the glow of someone I love..from 2000+ miles.. and I know they love me..and it feels fantastic..
Time and distance will either be our friend or our enemy..but
We will see.
But for now.. this time..and in this place..
I am HAPPY!
ISTBA..I do not need your help..
Please..let me be..
I will owe you..
..
6/2/2015
.
ISTBA... you may have failed this time.
You have tried your best..and I think with time I will prevail.
M is good for me. And I am good for M .
D will see that this is good.
Learning and growth and understanding will all come with time.
Distance is my foe. And it can be lessened and made to not matter at all. Technology...my friend..my tool..my slave..is helping me. I am taking full advantage of the tools I have at my disposal.
I did not set out to find love, it found me.
I had no agenda...just a simple purpose. .to help a friend with loss and grief... and here I am..happy and accomplished.
The happy is a by-product..and it makes me smile... grin.. infact.
I am so happy to be able to bring light to someone who was so dark and alone.
I did not set out to go beyond a friend..but love sometimes happens when and where you are not looking.
Of course there are issues of going where I should not.
'If I was a friend I should never let this happen...I am taking advanrage..' 'vulture' ... and many other phrases come to mind..
I did love my 'Brother'.. and am sorry he had to leave..
I do love my 'Brothers' family.. I wish I could take away their pain..
I wish I could help them deal with the loss of their husband and father..if it was within my power..I would return him to them.
I miss him too..
But. Death in our lifetime is forever. People need to be allowed to heal..and for the survivors.. the living.. life must go on.. if just to spite Death... we may be able to see them again..in the future..but they would not want us to be miserable..and shut down..and lonely..
They would want us to never forget them..but would want us to be happy..to live our lives..and continue.. to live.
Yes, its sad..and we the living morn the loss...but they are free of this life and unless they were selfish and uncaring..would want us to continue..be happy..and LIVE..
It is not bad that we can move on and continue and love again..
It should be that way..
That is why we learn about relationships...when we are young..the pain the loss.. the feeling that we cannot continue without that last love... and then we grow..and realize.. it is not the end for us..we grow and learn to deal with the loss...and another comes into our life and we can be happy again.. it is preparing us for real life..
We lose our loved ones..grand parents..parents.. loves... sometimes friends and lovers..
We dont live forever yet... and death is a human condition.. the current end of the human condition..but is inevitable..and we the living..'survivors' have to deal with it..and continue..in spite of Death. Unfortunately... it is something we deal with more and more as we grow older..and will til we die ourselves.
We will loose friend and family..and people we care about and look up to..
You can learn to not feel..but we must..it adds meaning to our existance..why we do what we must..day to day..
If we never hurt or feel pain..we would not know happiness. .
You must have the dark to appreciate the light.
Lots of cliches..but. all true.
I am feeling the glow of someone I love..from 2000+ miles.. and I know they love me..and it feels fantastic..
Time and distance will either be our friend or our enemy..but
We will see.
But for now.. this time..and in this place..
I am HAPPY!
ISTBA..I do not need your help..
Please..let me be..
I will owe you..
..
6/2/2015
.
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