Next day..

I didnt get to finish last night..had to publish and shut down..

I am almost sure one of the others. .that I was forgetting..because of the mixed signals..has moved to 'friend' status..

Not sure if thats my choice or hers...

Its ok.
We make good friends .

So now the question is do I try to explain to both that since we are still long dist friends with possibilities. .that I will be seeing both when I visit..
Im thinking I need to wait and see..

But for now..its long distance. .and easy.

More later...
R 5/16/15

When you have 1...

You have 3..when you have none..no one wants you.
I used to say that in High School.
Still true today.
ISTBA
so.. I thought I was headed down a road.. but got sidetracked..
I needed to pay my respects..and found that the distress was real and overwhelming.
I was asked to help..to prevent a tragedy..
So I did..what I should..made a nuisance and found that it wasnt..
It helped..and became more..
I thought I was being an anchor..but Instead..I was the raft.. and there was room for 2.
I found a new renewed updated friendship.
It started to grow.
My other was slowing..and not sure if it was me or them..or both..
Its still there..but not as I originally saw..
But I still need to go see..I will probably loose both..
And the other here will be done and ISTBA and I will sit and have a beer and say..WTF....
I see where each can go..im not unaware that it can go bad..
I only hope its not hurtful to any..and if it dont go. Or goes one way..that we stay friends.
I am a friend first.. and if I can get a partner out of it..
R 5/15/15

What should I do?

I am in the middle.
Like I used to say I High School..
When you got 1 ..you got 3..
When no one wants you.. you have none.

ISTBA..
what have you done?

It looks like I have 3...
No issue.. but ..I dont know what is real.. and what is in my head.
I have the one ..I cant be with.. but still wants ..
I have the one I re-met.. and all was good... and since I left has been better..
I have the one I consoled..and found have much in common..
And time is moving with me ..not against..me..
As time adds.. we find more.. and more..
But, issues..are there..distance..
Family and friends will not approve..and reality..
May be im just the guy to remind her .. that.. she is alive..
All good..better than thinking she isnt.. and life is over..

The other..is complete..and dont need me..but has decided that she wants me sort of in it..
But..time has proven to be on our side.. she has baggage and history..and If I want in.. I can find a place... maybe.

We are not lovers..either..but could be.. maybe....

Play it through...
ISTBA..I know you will burn me in the end..
So I wont blame you.. just me..

R 5/13/15

Hello again

Weekend..
ISTBA is in the house.
Minor weirdness. .. earlier this week.
Asked for a hug.. and delivered..listened..and went back to work.
Then a few texts ..
A little info.. I didnt need to hear.
And back to being alone.

Have a steak and a drink..and carry on.

R 5/8/15

Wow

Hello May!
Been a day.
Got a call... needed a hug..and provided it..an ear..a hug..
Support.. and such..

But its time to move to the next..
Even if its ... no where..or no one.

R 5/6/15

Confusion and long distance

Yes, I am confused.
Why..after all this time, are the ones from my past, telling me now that they want me... or wanted me..
And the door is open.. but im 2000 miles away..
Well.. its more than one..and it isnt just my imagination.
And thanks to ISTBA..I am alone and single...
Something wrong with this..

I love you all
We could be happy..
I could be happy...
But .. I am sure it isnt to be...
At least not for me..
I would not be allowed...
ISTBA... thanks...