Ok..so I over reacted...

I never got to talk about any of it..
Mon we met after works and nothing was said..
I must have been overreacting..and taking it all too seriously..
I guess its my problem to get over..
Nothing has changed. All is the same..
So it must be all in my head.
《Sarcasm is intended》
R
2/25/15

I guess I failed

After thinking about it..
Maybe I am failing the test.
Is that what this is? ..
If so.. what should I do about it?

The scenarios are endless.

Dude you suck at this...
But you keep trying..

I will try again.. later today..
We will see..

Shhhh..
ISTBA. . you are making it hard to think...

R
2/23/15

Really?

This day started ..
I cannot even say ..good..
Wake up call at 4 AM. Simple instructions and back to sleep..
Call at 9:00AM to say due to weather..I dont have any where I need to be..
Great.. ill send a good morning msg.. shovel the drive and go over and shovel out J and ask if she wants to go to breakfast..and spend the day together..
Go over..still no answer to my good morning msg.. shovel out the cars.. and her X drives up.. waits.. texts.. parks and knocks and goes in..
I finish shoveling and clean off her car. And get Into the truck to leave. She sticks her head out the door.. and I wave and leave..
I text.. your welcome.
I say I was gonna ask you to breakfast but I guess you don't t need me for that... because.. he brought breakfast. ..
After explaining my attitude..
I said ..if you want to talk.. let me know when he leaves..
Perfect phrase.. he did his laundry and had dinner and passed out on the couch.. still there..at 10 PM. .. apparently a boyfriend that needs to talk.. needs to see you.. isnt as important as a X that called you a dirty whore.. and other things...
I explained I dont like feeling this way.... because they hurt.. and am angry..and confused...
But I am ignored.. and put off...
I dont see..
Im gonna be busy..for the next week.. really busy.. and dont think we will get much chance to talk..
Ouch.. I hurt..
I dont know what I should do..
How I should react..
Damn this hurts.

ISTBA.. where have you been? I see you over there.

Now I need to figure out what to do next..or how I should proceed.

I just dont know.

Damn it A, you may have been right.

R
2/22/2015

Hi there. 2015

Hi.
2015.. its been an interesting start.
I am learning to be less stressed...about this relationship.
I need to trust more.
So far all I have seen has been good. I know with a hot girl I should expect the hounds..I need to trust the woman that loves me. And know the hounds will be denied.
No need to be jealous.. she is faithful.
Me..im to busy to be more than that.. I dont need anyone else.
She is hot..sexy and mine..
ISTBA.. Dont mess this up.
I will not be led down the path of doubt..
We are individuals. .we have lives and responsibilities. .stuff we need to do..
Respect it.
We have ... Us...
We can make that work and be a good thing.
I need to open up..let the rest filter in to ...me.

It can happen. ...

Work.. go ahead try to kick my butt.. your foot will get sore.!

Lets see where this goes.

R
02/18/15

I was trying..

So.. are you dating? ..
Are we not exclusive?
Was I wrong in thinking that.
You are still texting the guy from January. . And not available. .
Avoiding me..so it seems.. but.. not letting go..
Hmmmm..
Now a concert with no notice or indication.. sure I was busy with the most hectic day of days today..but you would never know that...
I know you dont need me..but do you still want me?
This time..it is not me .. I am trying...
Question is... should I stop?.

R 2/11/15

Do you want out

So..stand me up..
Dont say your going to sleep.. but..all the lights are out..and theres a car in front.. I guess I should have gone in... BS.

R 2/8/15

Well.. I just dont know

I think its slipping away..
I am the one that shouldnt be..
I think I am what you want ..but dont think I want.. or not what you think you deserve..

I am glad you are here.
I dont want to fix what isnt broke.. but..if its broke and I cant fix it..
Why are we here?
I am as a jealous as a guy can be without being a jerk..but.. I think the games have started.. and I wasnt told the rules..
Careful.. you may end up..one of my friends...

R
2/08/15

Wed again..

Got a lot going on..
Got the lowdown..on the weekend.. I guess I will be spending it at home . A few work things but nothing after friday..
Maybe... ill stay home and sleep all weekend....
It's a thought...
Prob won't happen..
I dont see what I can do about it..
And V day is Sat..and she will be in Denver with her grand-kids ...
I guess ill not have to worry..

R
2/4/15

Tuesday again

Tuesday.
Used to be the worst day of the week.. Monday..is the first day after the weekend. Wednesday is the middle..'Hump day' if you wish.. Thursday is the day before Friday... Friday is the end of the work week. Being the day before 'hump day'.. is not much... its a blah day..
I see I am back in busy mode..and so is she.. already had last weekend planned and was un available for most of it and already had saturday planned to be out of town.. maybe we will see each other on friday night after I work both..if she dont go out again with her neighbor...like last week.. I think its slipping away again..

Must be me...
R

Hi!!

Well.. here I am in 2015..
Where am I?
Right now I am here..after having my 4
. . I am at mine having another.. or so.. and not at all sure why im not asleep... besides its 12:23...
I should be home..its Monday....
The weekend was a bust.. except for the SB. but that was alone.. and uneventful .. its Feb..2015.
Am I messing this up?
probably...

ITSTBA. stop being that way .
Stop making it so difficult.

R 2/2/15