Ok so here I go....

Ok so here I go....
Dont know.. I think I just got a taste of my own medicine... well maybe not.. bit I feel bad. Its like a cold slap..

I know I didnt want it to go the way it has.. but its my own doing.. more or less..

I let life roll and had to deal with what I have.. it is what it is.

I have been feeling lonely and isolated.. and its my fault..

I am what I am..and I have to do what I do.
I have my responsibilites and have to make sure that comes first.... cause it does. I am alone because I have to do what I do to survive.. I have no regrets.. it is what it must be.

I suck at being more than I am.. I cant pull it off. I just cant be that fake.

Oh well. I get what I deserve I guess.

Too old to look back and have regret. I did my best and when that isnt enough.. it is all I can do..so too bad for me.

I am going to finish my drink and go home.. and start the next day as I should.. new...

R
10/17/14