Oops..

I forgot to hit publish on that last one.. I dont even remember writing it.. thanks to Crown..
Anyhow.
Another day.. been too busy.. slept poorly.. woke up at 2 and tried to go back to sleep .. ended up waking up at 6.. went to my 7am meeting.. and had to leave at 8 to go up to the mtn to fix a transmission issue.. thought we were gonna be off till I could get a replacement unit.. days.. but with M's help troubleshot on site and determined a work around.. and got us back up within the hour..
Yes, thats me patting myself on the back.. (no one else will)
It was huge.. a revenue saver.. and part of my job.. but an attaboy would not go un appreciated... but give up hoping for that..
I got to have my personal satisfaction.. cause it dont seem anyone else notices...

Feeling unappreciated..

No matter.. its what it is..

ISTBA you old bugger.. who invited you. ....

So.. I totally screwed up my relationship.. go figure... but what can I do.. I have obligations and priorities. .and my happiness is not that important in the grand scheme..

Im at that place.. got to move fwd and see whats next.

Works are what they are..and I must do what I must.

So.. have another. And forget about it till I can get to whats next.

R 10/25/14

Work and corp

Ok..so this has been a great day.
Depending on how you view it.
Met my new bosses.. learned a lot. And made a few see what we are and what we do.
Thanks M.. we make a great team.
I think we will survive.
It looks good.. but so did the last..
We will see.

Aside from that.. learned a few things about others I work with and its as I thought and as I may have thought... interesting at the least.
Need to have another and sleep in my lonely bed.

ISTBA.. where did you come from.

R 10/22/14

Now

Ok.. been over thinking as always..
Not sure what to do next.
I tried..earlier this week and got unreadable reply.. 'have a good weekend'

I took that wrong.. duh... as your too late so stop trying... so thats what I did.

Worked my 16s and had a steak..

I guess I should have texted..
Invited..
But..

Well I am me.. dumb-smart.. cant win for losing.

So now the question.. is should I give up..stop..

Posts and songs sung are messages and subject to interpretation. .
Which I always get wrong.. just me.

I will wait and see.
Im still busy as all can be and time is something I dont have.
And even worse..I dont know hour to hour much less day to day what I will be needed to do.

I hope it will stabalize and If so I can have a personal life I can share..before I truly forget how to do that.

R
10/18/14

Ok so here I go....

Ok so here I go....
Dont know.. I think I just got a taste of my own medicine... well maybe not.. bit I feel bad. Its like a cold slap..

I know I didnt want it to go the way it has.. but its my own doing.. more or less..

I let life roll and had to deal with what I have.. it is what it is.

I have been feeling lonely and isolated.. and its my fault..

I am what I am..and I have to do what I do.
I have my responsibilites and have to make sure that comes first.... cause it does. I am alone because I have to do what I do to survive.. I have no regrets.. it is what it must be.

I suck at being more than I am.. I cant pull it off. I just cant be that fake.

Oh well. I get what I deserve I guess.

Too old to look back and have regret. I did my best and when that isnt enough.. it is all I can do..so too bad for me.

I am going to finish my drink and go home.. and start the next day as I should.. new...

R
10/17/14