alone.

a word. it's very matter of fact.
not a lot competes with it.
being alone. it has negative connotations to most people.
some like it.. the solitude.. no one to question or answer to...
it isnt for me.
dont like it.
i grew up in a big family.. always had someone around.
at least when it was good.

i don't think i can handle being 'alone' .. i need to be around others.
this has caused me grief growing up.. and prob will ,still.
not sure what to do or where to go from here..

thoughts come to me..
but the rational me says you wont be able to be any different
.. i know i wont... i need a friend.. that can help...
cause i dont know how.. 20 yrs.. and still dont have the guts
getting out there will suck as much as it did before.

... . . . . . . . . . .