Mixed feelings, I have not been sleeping well. I woke at 3:30a, at 4a I got the text that she had arrived at the airport and was at her gate. The plane was boarding at 5:30.
At 5:30, I was on the highway looking at the full moon.
The last day we saw each other was Thursday, so it has been a week. We walked and talked about being friends, and planned my visit. I know where I stand, I am a friend.
But, I think about how different it was and could be.
I know she is free, and living her life far from where I am..in more ways than one. She has mentioned more than a few times it is time for a change in direction, and that she was not sure what direction it would take her. The hopeful me was thinking maybe we would cross paths more than going in opposite directions. We already did that..and yet circled back.. but <<sigh>> wishful thinking.
Anyway..the trip in a couple months may show me the real of it all.
I cannot shake the feeling that we are connected..and should remain close..
....
I was thinking this morning..
as we get older.. we should be looking more toward someone we want to be near. Not what we wanted when we were young, not the perfect person, the one to grow with..we need someone who is grown, and will accept us as we are, and we accept them as they are. We need someone that forgives more than blames. We need to be forgiving and understanding of eachothers faults and history. The baggage is part of who we are. We carry it around with us and either share it or not, but it is part of who we have become. As soon as we realize this, the sooner we can allow someone else in, to love us for all we are. They need to see it is the same for them.
Accept, forgive, love.
.....
Safe travels.
Rp 10/20/2021
